Finding Seventeen (On Hold)

Home Is Where...

I pulled up outside of Ryder's home. I stared at it for a long time, before I got out of car and walked to the front door. I pulled out a key that I hadn't used for so long. When our mom married husband number five, Rod. He had a home of his own, and she gave our childhood home to Ryder after he married Jodie. Ryder met Jodie in college, not long after Dallas died. They were friends for a long time before they ever started dating. Jodie was really there for him after his friend died, and his sister wanted to have nothing to do with him.

When I turned the key and entered the house, I was thankful that it looked nothing like it did when we were growing up. Jodie and Ryder had re-modeled, and it was very different from the house I once knew. They had made it their own. It felt like a home, not just a house.

There were picture frames everywhere with family photos. The only ones that included me were ones from when we were younger. I scanned all the photos, and came to an abrupt stop when over the mantel was a large photo of Ryder, Dallas and I from when we were sixteen. Dallas was in the middle, Ryder and I both had our arm around her. We looked so happy, we looked like normal teenagers. I smiled a little to myself, remembering that day. Ryder drove in from the University of Southern Alabama in Mobile.Even though Dallas was better, Ryder continued to come home every weekend. It was like it knew that he didn't have enough time with his friend.

It seemed like it was only yesterday that we had spent that magical day on the beach. It is one of the fondest memories I have, it is probably one of the fondest memories that Ryder has. I just wish that Dallas still had memories. Sadness swept over me for a brief moment, then I pulled myself together. I wasn't going to let me being back in Long Beach turn me back into that same, sad girl that left this town all those years ago.

The house was empty, Jodie worked nights at the hospital, she was having to work a lot since the accident. I hoped that my return would help to lighten her burden. She already held so much on her shoulders. Three year old Phoenix spent his days in pre-school, and his nights at a neighbors, while Jodie worked. He spent very few hours of the day of his mom, and even less of his dad. When Ryder asked me if I could come live with them for a while, I knew the answer had to be yes. I couldn't let my brother down. He already felt as though he was letting his family down by the situation, in which he'd found himself. As much as he always wanted for our mom to be there, he knew that she was never dependable enough to rely on her for consistency. 

I knew that there was a guest bedroom in the house. I came to learn that it was the same room that I grew up in. When I entered the room, it was as if I'd stepped by in time. Ryder has left it exactly the same. When I looked upon the room, I noticed the same deep purple bed covers, and matching curtains. The walls were covered with Foo Fighters and Lincoln park posters. The only thing missing were the photos. When I left, the only things I took with me where clothes and a box full of memories. Even though I've never opened that box, I knew one day I'd want to, and I couldn't trust my mother to make sure that these things stayed the same. After reminiscing the past, I quickly changed into my night clothes and crawled into bed. When I lay my head down to sleep, that night I knew when I woke up the next morning that it would be as if my life was starting over once again.