dear brendon [rydon]

9.30.14

9.30.14

dear brendon,

you're sleeping on my lap.

how could she ever stop loving you enough to have sex with someone else?

good god, it's been years and you're still all i see. she had you. she woke up in your arms every morning and saw your face before she fell asleep. she got to be there when you broke down, she got to be the one you ran to, she got to be the one you stayed up late watching crappy tv with. how could she ever get tired of that? i wouldn't. every day with you would feel like a new adventure.

and like, it's not like it was even once. it wasn't a mistake. it's been consistent. how long has she done this to you, bren? how long have you known?

maybe you always have and yet couldn't let her go.

is it weird i understand that? god, i would take anything from you just to be the person you call at 1 am because you can't sleep. it's all worth it. you're worth everything.

spencer and jon showed up today. we all bashed sarah together, and you joined in. even though i could tell your heart wasn't in it. your heart's all the way back at l.a, your heart has blue eyes and black hair and skin like ivory, your heart is breaking as you speak and no one can fix it, except for her.

i'm so sorry, baby.

i hope you can heal.

yours always,
ryan