He Hears You(Larry Stylinson, Niam Horayne)

Chapter 8: Showing Him My Past, Don't Hurt Me

Chapter 8: Showing Him My Past, Don’t Hurt Me

([A/N:] Some lyrics will be changed in the songs being mentioned in the chapter original credit will be given)

*Harry’s P.O.V.*

I woke up on the floor of my room where Louis and I fell asleep after he kissed me. The memories of last night came flooding back. I can’t believe I told Louis everything I’ve been keeping to myself for years. Who would have thought he would be the one to break down my walls and get me to open up? In so many ways I’m grateful he pushed me into telling him. It feels as if a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders. If I would have kept it in any longer I would have snapped.  By snap, I mean worse than I did yesterday. I got so lost in my thoughts that I almost forgot about Louis who was now stirring around in my arms. Reality hit me and I was scared; what if he regrets it? I tried moving out of his grip before he woke up, but he only pulled me closer and buried his face in my chest.

“Quit moving Haz” He said sleepily. I kept still for about ten minutes. He woke up and looked up to me. I could see the sadness in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have run off. I was being over dramatic. I also shouldn’t have tried to push you into telling me something you didn’t want to. It was none of my business.” He said shyly sitting up.

“I’m really glad you did to be honest. I’ve been holding it in for too long. If you wouldn’t have pushed me I would have snapped. What you saw yesterday is nothing compared to what I could have done.” I said laughing a little. He laughed too and smiled at me.

“I want to show and tell you something. It’s time you know the rest of my story.” He suddenly said. I encouraged him to go on by looking him in the eyes and nodding my head. He took a deep breath before he continued.

“Ever since my doctor said I was severely depressed I was never the same person. I used to be a free spirit who wasn’t afraid to tell anyone anything. I was happy all the time. Now I bottle everything up and sometimes cry myself to sleep when I know it’s getting to be too much. It hurts me knowing I can’t open up to anyone when I have an issue because I’m so scared to know what the outcome will be like. I don’t handle things well. I’m a wimp; weak and defenseless. That’s why I did the things I did.” He finished and looked down at the ground. I didn’t understand what he meant.

“What do you mean? What else have you done Lou?” I asked him. He looked up at me and I could already see the tears in his eyes.

“I couldn’t handle it Harry” He began extending his arm and flipping it over. “It took away all the pain. I knew it was wrong. There were so many other ways I could have dealt with it. I’m a failure. I’ve failed you all. Please don’t hurt me.” He finished and was now crying silently. The tears were falling freely from his eyes. I looked over his left arm and saw many fading scars. I ran my fingers over them just like he did to mine yesterday. I can’t believe my beautiful Boobear resorted to cutting. He’s so damaged. This is going to be a tricky recovery for both of us. I brought his wrist up to my mouth and kissed lightly over the scars. As I kissed his arm I noticed he had let more tears fall from his eyes. I then pulled him into a hug just like he did when I was in the same position yesterday.

“I’m going to fix you. Like you said we’re forever in this together. Just you and me. Maybe a little help from the others, but we’re going to be ok Boo. I promise.” I whispered in his ear as he continued to cry. We stayed curled into each other on the floor for a few hours. It wasn’t until we heard knocks out of the door that we got up to answer it. On the other side of the door stood a worried Liam, concerned Zayn, relieved Josh, and terrified Niall. He looked like he could burst into tears any moment. Liam must gave sense Niall’s uneasiness because he pulled him into a tight hug. We let the boys in and right away Liam noticed the mess and started cleaning it up. I started feeling guilty knowing I caused this mess.