The Nanny

Sharing

I had never actively given anyone the cold shoulder until now.

It was a lot harder then it seemed, especially when I could see the little pouty looks Harry gave, that he thought I was unaware of, whenever I ignored him or shot down any form of friendliness from him.

I felt bad but also like I was within reason. We would never be good at being friends. It just didn't work for us if our past experience at it was any indication.

Harry was out today, apparently there was some mandatory meeting that, according to Niall's gossiping tendencies, I was informed was specifically for him.

I was given the impression it had something to do with our little blow out at the event a few days ago that turned out to be some big schmooze fest for sponsors for One Direction's next tour.

Imagine my embarrassment at seeing the headlines talking about the mystery woman who issued the slap heard round the world. Me being said mystery woman.

Niall had assured me that no one knew who I was and miraculously Harry had kept his trap shut about it. I had a feeling it had a lot to do with the fact that keeping me a secret was also keeping Darcy a secret. Apparently the boys where pleading the fifth on the whole thing, or you know what ever the British equivalent was.

Needless to say with Harry's absence today it had been a rather relaxed day with just the kids and me.

I sighed and pulled my hair over my shoulder as I laid Jamie down on the blanket in the living room and took a set on the sofa. Darcy laid out on her belly near the blanket at my feet coloring a picture she had been drawing all morning of a group of stick figures in various colors.

"What's that baby?" I asked looking down at her picture.

"A painting." She answered in a sing song voice as she kept coloring, her legs kicking the air happily.

I chuckled at her vague answer. "Alrighty then."

"Aria, does Jamie have a daddy?"

The question caught me so off guarded I nearly spit out the sip of water I had just taken. My eyes widened as I looked down at the top of the little girls head. She hadn't even looked up at me while asking it, completely unaware of the internal damage that question brought upon me.

To Darcy it was just an innocent question but to me it was something I didn't think I would have to talk about in a very long time and a bit of a sore spot.

"Um... n-" I had to clear my throat as my voice cracked. "No honey. Jamie just has a mommy."

"Oh." She said like it was no big deal with a head tilt and a shrug. "I don't have a mummy but I have a daddy."

I felt my breath hitch. This was such a sad conversation to be having, let alone with a four year old.

"I know!" She suddenly spun around into a sitting position and smiled up at me. "Daddy can be Jamie's daddy and you can be my mummy. We can share. Nana says sharing is nice to do."

My eyes widened even more, so much so I was sure if my eyeballs could pop out of my skull they would at this point. An inhuman sound, some cross between a gasp and a small sob, escaped my mouth before I could cover it up with my hand.

This poor child had no idea what she was saying; she had no clue what her words were doing to my heart. It was all so simple in the world of a toddler.

I had to swallow the lump in the throat twice before I could speak again. "Sweetie, I don't... it's not..."

How do you explain to a child that things don't work like that? That I couldn't simple just be her mommy.