The Nanny

Mistake

When I woke up this morning, not for one moment did I think I would find myself in my darkened kitchen kneeling on the floor in a sea of hot chocolate and porcelain, one hand tangled in Aria's sweet smelling wet hair and the other slowly gliding over her thigh and up to her waist as my lips worked against hers.

It never even crossed my mind that this could be a possible ending to my night but now that it was happening I don't think I would have changed a moment of my day if this is where it was leading.

I thanked every deity I could that I had arrived home when I had.

Her scream had sent me into a panic but when I saw her there in the midst of the mess in absolute dark I almost wanted to laugh, that was until I saw the look in her eyes. She genuinely looked scared and it sent me into action, not hesitating to lift her up and place her away from the danger of cutting her tiny feet.

When my hands had slipped away from her I felt a longing to slip them back and for a moment I thought I saw the same longing reflected in her eyes. It had been the first real reaction I had gotten from her since earlier in the day when I had caught her chat with Darcy.

Sneaking about in my own home wasn't something I did but when I heard them talking I couldn't help it and the words leaving my daughters mouth both surprised me and made me happy. And then I went and made the comment to Aria thinking it would be funny or even cute but all it did was cause her to hide from me.

But not now.

No, now she was here, in my arms kissing me back just as fiercely as I was kissing her. I hadn't even noticed I was moving forward angling her backwards and off her knees onto her back while I slowly moved myself to straddling her right here in my kitchen. Both of us ignoring the liquid being soaked up by our clothing. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was thankful for having cleared up most of the glass so there was less of a risk of hurting ourselves.

The same part of my mind thanked her for spilling the cocoa because it was that very chocolate that had sparked the intensity in me when she walked back into the kitchen.

It reminded me of the night we had sat up and talked, like friends. The night I had learned a lot more about the woman living in my house then in all the weeks she had been living here prior. It endeared me to her and something in me wanted to protect the broken pieces in her when she reviled her past to me.

So as I sat watching her pick up the pieces of the mug, much like the pieces of herself that someone had left thoughtlessly scattered on the ground, I wanted to stop her. I wanted to do it for her. I wanted to protect her.

And that very thought is what had me pull away from her now, even though ever nerve ending and cell in my body wanted to keep going, keep my forward motion of laying her down and doing every single thing my mind had played over and over again with this insanely beautiful woman who was looking up at my with half closed eyes and a moan of protest leaving her kiss swollen lips.

What the fuck are you doing Styles?!?!

With a heavy sigh I pulled away and rubbed my hand over my face trying to calm myself down.
When I looked at Aria again she was sitting up straighter looking at her hands with a heartbreakingly hurt look on her face.

"Aria..." I began not knowing what I was going to say really. Here she was this woman that a few months ago I couldn't even stand, and now I found myself wanting so badly it hurt but I knew I couldn't. I wouldn't. "I'm sorry, I can't... this-" I waved my hands around aimlessly and kept my eyes on her even though she didn't look up once while I spoke. "It's a... mistake."

Her sharp intake of breath had me wishing I could take my words back but I didn't get the chance to because, faster then I knew she could move, she was up and disappearing into the darkness of my home.