The Nanny

Claustrophobia

My mind was exhausted.

It had been a little under a week since the preverbal shit had hit the fan when the children and I had been bombarded at the playground. As a result Harry, Darcy, Jamie and I had all been holed up in Harry's home trying to avoid the ever growing congregation of paps outside the gates of Harry's home.

His home, that for the most part had been a secret location, was now a media hub. Everyone trying to get a good shot of all of us together.

It was one of the topics brought up in the three hour long meeting Harry and I had been subjected to. Along with clearing up the inaccuracies by releasing a statement and farther security measures for everyone involved.

Harry's PR rep and publicist and manager and pretty much a whole slew of people that handled every single aspic of his career, had us seated in a room as they spoke non-stop about future planes to handle our current situation. It was part of the reason my head was throbbing right now.

As I had sat in that conference room trying to keep up with the constant brain storming and calculating, all I could do to keep myself sane in the unrealistic situation was hold on to Harry's hand like a life line.

To his credit Harry was completely focused, nodding when appropriate and adding his own ideas and concerns as the meeting progressed. I could tell this was very important to him, our safety and privacy.

All I could do was squeeze his hand and wonder if this was ever going to die down.

It was insane the amount of media coverage this was getting. Harry was worldwide entertainment news.

As predicted, fans around the globe were losing their minds over this, to be fair it was a big secret and for the most part they were nice about it but there was still quite a few rude tweets and blog post circulating.

It wasn't until near the end of the epically long meeting that Gary, One Direction's lead PR rep, finally reviled their big strategic move.

Major spreads in the popular celebrity chronicling magazines worldwide.

A family portrait, if you will. His words, not mine.

"We can have a family like photo shoot. Harry, Aria, and the kids. Get the story out and have people endeared to the sweet blended family unit they have." Gary's assistant, who I hadn't remembered the name of, had informed. "The publicity would be outrageous."

As he spoke about it I couldn't help but feel apprehensive. I didn't like the idea of our children being used as a publicity stunt.

Next to me Harry tensed and fidgeted with his fingers looking at me from the corner of his eyes.

Harry had been a jittery, jumpy mess since last week. He was carful with his words and constantly at my side almost as if he was afraid I would disappear. It was slightly annoying, yet understandable.

I knew it had a lot to do with Rachel and the way things had ended with her. For him it was like reliving the very worst moment of his adult life and hoping for a different outcome. I could imagine that in his mind he was worried I would find this all too much, like she had, and I would leave. What he didn't realize was that I was in a little too deep for that now.

Granted my natural instinct was to run, but Harry made me want to stay... he made me want to be with him.

He made me fall in love with him.

I was much too frightened to tell him so but I was, without a doubt, head over heels for this curly headed wonder. So the very idea that I would leave now, although it might have been an option once upon a time, was completely out of the question now.