Dear Simon // Ministar FF

Dear Simon

There was a slight breeze that was blowing my hair, messing it up, and sending a little chill through my bones. My knees were tucked up to my chest, I was curled up into a ball, rocking back and forth.

The amount of tears that had rolled down my cheeks over the past two weeks were enough to make a waterfall.

I watched the breeze make ripples on the water. Leaves were falling down from the trees onto the lake, just like my tears, constantly falling. I wasn't sure if they'd ever stop.

I took in a deep breath, then let it out, and wiped the tears away with my sleeve. Trying to calm myself down, I lifted my head up and carried on watching the sun rise.

This place was a peaceful, no sound but the wind and leaves rustling.

I closed my eyes and tried to black my vision out, and shut down all the thoughts in my head. But I couldn't.

I could hear the sound of leaves being crunched underneath someone's feet, the sound getting louder and louder. I didn't need to turn around to see who it was.

A hand was placed on my shoulder and I flinched at the touch.

"Sorry."

He sat down next to me, and let out a sigh. I couldn't look at him. I just couldn't. The presence of people was making me uncomfortable.

I caught him looking at me from the corner of my eye.

"You can't keep on doing this. Please."

I didn't respond. I had barely opened my mouth in the last two weeks.

My eyes were sore and my head ached, and my mind wasn't functioning properly. I was lost.

"You have things to do, a life to get on with."

I opened my mouth, trying to reply, but words didn't come out. I sniffed and cleared my throat.

"I...it's only been two weeks."

I was about to break into tears. I tried so hard to stop them from coming, but I was too weak. I started crying again.

"And you expect me to be over it?" I asked, still not looking at him.

"I don't. But it's not only you. Thinking about it isn't going to help. You need to clear your mind, and move on. Let go."

He was trying to help, and I appreciated it, but I just wanted to be left alone.

"I wish."

I could tell he wanted to cry. But he wouldn't. He was strong, unlike me. He wouldn't break down. I wish I could be like him, but I couldn't.

"It's harder for me."

"I know. I know." He said, trying to reassure me.

"How do you not understand how hard it is for me?" clear, but I was crying even harder.

"We do." He took a deep breath. "It's hard for everyone, keep that in mind."

I wanted to look at him, into his eyes, but I was scared it'd hurt me.

"We're all broken inside, everyone is, not only us." He said.

I nodded.

"At least carry on with what you're supposed to be doing. It'll take your mind off it. And eat. Talk to someone, instead of closing your mind up."

He cared for me, as we all did for each other.

"Thanks, Josh."

"You're welcome." He stood up. "Are you okay on your own?"

I nodded.

"Make sure you're back soon. We need you right now."

I needed them too.

But I needed him even more.