Dear Simon // Ministar FF

4-1

 Minutes passed. I sat at my desk with my camera facing me. I wasn't wondering whether to start talking or not. The only thoughts I had were of him. The only face I could see was his. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. Right, get on with it.

 "Hey guys, it's Vikkstar123, and -" my voice sounded so weak. I cleared my throat and carried on. "welcome to today's video."

 That sounded so familiar. I wanted to say it again. A tear nearly fell from my eye as I spoke again, but I didn't want my fans to see my cry. I didn't want them to have to go through my pain too.

 "You may have seen or not seen the news. After what happened I haven't been ok, I'm sure everyone else isn't ok but, you know, it has made a huge different impact on me. I haven't been on any social media yet, so I'm not sure if any of the other guys have uploaded or... I haven't seen JJ in the house, Josh is the only one here... I've hid my face whenever I went out."

 Talking to a camera felt so natural, yet talking to Josh was so hard a few days ago.

 "I literally hid away. I've been locked up in my room for most of the time. I...don't really know what to say, I mean..."

 Stay strong Vik. I could hear his voice. I nearly chocked on my words.

 "I'll have a look on youtube and social media, I'll try and contact the rest of the guys, post some videos maybe. It'll help. So that's it for now, this has been an update, and I'll see you in the next video."

 I got up and stopped recording.

 The only thing I edited in the video was the thirty minutes I sat there before I started speaking.

 The video uploaded, and it was time to check the guys channels.

 ZerkaaHD - 3 days ago - A new beginning

"Hi guys. Everyone has probably seen the news. This event has left us shattered and our normal lives have been falling apart."

 Josh's voice was so normal, unlike mine, which was slow, and croaky.

 "Honestly I don't know what's been going on with everyone. JJ left, Vik has been in hibernation."

 He smiled at that, and so did I.

 "With their relationship I know it's tough for Vik especially, and JJ was his best friend. I wouldn't expect much from us over the next while, it will take a long time for us to pick these pieces up and put them back together. I haven't been online in a while, but I'm sure you're all giving us support, so thank you. My girlfriend has been round and I've been seeing her, and it would be great to see the guys too. We need each other. I hope Simon's family and relatives are okay, and my thoughts go out to them. Thank you for watching, and goodbye."

I cried. I let the tears stream down myself. I got up and sprinted into Josh's room, who stood up instantly when he saw me, with a puzzled look on his face, but also with a smile, and I gave him a big hug, and cried, and cried, and cried.

 A/N

 Sorry for the sad feelings :)