Hello! I'm Awkward...

Help Her

This is because I didn't help. I didn't notice. Why didn't I notice?! I should have, I had the chances. But now, it's too late. I can't hug her. I can't say I'm sorry for the things I've said. I was angry, she was angry. We didn't hate each other. I loved her like a sister.
But now she is in the hospital. She cried the time time today begging not to go. I sat on her sister's bed watching her pace into the bathroom and bringing out a smaller object and then she went into the hall. Then I heard it," You cut?"
Everything broke inside me. I am not a good best friend and sister. What happened to my love able little friend. She's gone now. I can't see her. She was shaking and I didn't hug her. I didn't want to be judged if it was wrong. I feel horrible. I'm horrible.
All she could do was mumble. She had been doing it for days, weeks, and a year. After all our days together and she didn't tell me. Did she think I hated her. I hope not. I love her. I hope the best for her. Let God bless her gentle soul trapped in a cage of hate that eats her from the inside out until she brakes. She broke today. All the scars I didn't see. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I regret not noticing. I could've helped.
Next time I see you. I will love you. I will love you like I never have before. No wonder she liked that band. It describes everything and I heard it! I heard it! Why didn't I catch it?! Was it because I didn't think it was possible. Did I really think that those 9 months of hell didn't make a difference. Did I think that her biological mom didn't make a difference. Please pray for her. She needs it more than anything. Pray that she will become better. Pray she will never do these things again. Pray that all those broken relationships would heal. I need her. Don't take her away from me. I talk with her about really important things. I don't think I could continue with a lot if I lost her. It's a horrible feeling knowing this. It's best to let out.
Please help her. She needs this. She needs me as a good friend. God help her...