Write Me Back By Deborah Escobar

Chapter 4: What Renee Thinks

Renee

Oh my god. I'm driving away from the Marriott with all these things running through my head. Did that just happen? I can't believe this! I just talked to James Fulton face to face. I just told him I wanted to meet up tomorrow. I just drove him to a hotel in Malibu. He's real. I can barely keep my thoughts on the road as I drive home. I pull up in my driveway.

"Renee Elizabeth! You come here right now!" My mom yells at me.

"What did I do?" I walk over to her.

"It is almost 12 and you didn't even bother to call and tell me where you were?" She looks worried and angry.

"I'm sorry Mom I got caught up with a friend!" I throw my hands in the air.

"James?" My mom asks.

"Yes! I told you about him." We start to walk inside.

"Thank you for letting me know you were with a juvenile delinquent." She opens the door and we go inside. I go into the kitchen and grab a sandwich. I sit on a stool.

"I'm sorry Mom. I drove him to a hotel where his mom is staying." I take a bite of my BLT.

"I'm just glad you're home." She sits down next to me.

"Thanks Mom." I say with my mouth full.

"I wish I could eat one if those." She tells me.

"You can." I wave it in front of her face.

"No I cant. Stop teasing me." She pushes my arm away.

I laugh and almost choke. "Mom where's Dad?"

"Upstairs sleeping. He came home around ten and just passed out." My mom looks old in her pajamas with no makeup.

"Go to sleep Mom." I finish my sandwich. I was starving.

"Goodnight dear. Don't stay up too late." She walks up the stairs into her bedroom.

I start twirling and dancing in my kitchen. I'm so happy I almost forget about Zain. Almost. I sit down and start to feel sad again. Talk about a bipolar teenager. I forgot to call Cindy. I click her name on my phone.

"Hello?" A tired Cindy says.

"Hey I just wanted to let you know I'm home and everything went perfect." I smile into my phone.

"Great, great I'm still on the way home. I'll call you when I get there." Cindy says.

"Ok love you! Drive safely." I tell her.

"Bye." Cindy hangs up. Grumpy little thing.

"Guess I'm off to bed." I say to the air.

I walk upstairs into my bedroom. I have song lyrics and posters everywhere. I have a dream catcher hanging above my bed and lots of pillows. My bedspread is purple and my walls are bright blue. I have a window that faces our beautiful garden. I see the yellow daffodils and red pansies. I take off my dirty clothes and put on some comfy pajamas. I wash my face and put my hair up in a messy bun. I don't even bother to shower. I sit on my bed with my notebook and read the Demi Lovato lyrics I wrote in there.

"The slightest words you said, have all gone to my head. I hear angels sing in your voice. When you pull me close, feelings I've never known they mean everything and leave me no choice." I sing to myself. I have writers block and I'm only singing cheesy romance songs. It's annoying.

James is so different. I just met him and I think I love him! Why did I tell him that!? I don't know what it is about him. It's really weird. It's about 1 in the morning and I can't even sleep! I'm listening to Pandora and just singing along to all the songs. I'm not even trying to go to sleep. I can't. I'm excited for tomorrow. I can't wait. I think James actually cares about me. He flew thousands of miles just to tell me that. I don't know.

I thought I really liked Zain. I mean, I do like Zain. He's really nice to me and he never did anything wrong, but he's not James. James is unlike any guy I've ever met. He's so indescribable. He's confident, but not cocky. He's brave, but not foolish. He's sweet, but not too sweet. He's not perfect, but he treats me like I am. He's amazing. Zain is just sweet and we're very similar. He's boring, but I really like him. I never expected these things to happen. They just...happened. 

If you told me last year that I would be falling for a boy I barely know, I would have laughed in your face. I would have looked at you like you're crazy. I wouldn't have believed it. Now, that I'm living it, it seems even crazier. Something had to bring us together. Some greater force out there had to say, "I'm going to put this girl with this guy and see what happens." I don't know what it is yet, but something is happening. Thank you universe. 

I'm suffering from a serious case of insomnia. I can not settle down and sleep. My thoughts are boucing off the wall. I'm laying in bed with music pouding in my ears to help me sleep. I have the covers pulled over me and pillows under my head. I'm super comfortable. I start counting sheep. The words in the song become slurred and I stop listening. My mind settles on one last thought before I drift off into dream land. RING! I jerk up abrubtly. I look at my phone. 

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hey I just wanted to let you know I'm home." Cindys voice tells me. 

"Okay, I'm glad you got there safely." I'm fully awake now. 

"Yeah I had Starbucks so I'm super hyper now!" She practically screams into the phone. 

"I was just falling asleep, but now I'm awake so I might as well tell you." I smile. 

"Oh yeah! Tell me everything!" Cindy screams. 

"Okay, first off he is so brave and bold. He straight up told me he loved me." I smile at the thought. 

"He loves you?" Cindy says seriously. 

"I think he really means it." I say with less excitement. 

"Zain really means it." She has a point. 

"James is so different..." I begin. 

"You've only spoken through letters. You just met today! He was in jail Renee! You know nothing about him! This isn't a good idea." What Cindy says shocks me. 

"You were totally on board with me earlier today!" I tell her. 

"Yes honey, but only because you were so upset and honestly I didn't think you'd find him." Cindy says softly. 

"Cindy I told him that I think I love him." I hear silence on the other end. 

"You can't take that back. You can't lead him on. Zain really likes you. He told me he loves you. You've dated Zain. You know him in person." Cindy will not talk me out of this. 

"Yes, but right now I'm only 16. I don't know what love really is." I trace the paisly pattern on my blanket. 

"Then why did you say it?" Cindy sounds angry. 

"I had a feeling I've never had before. It was indescribable. I think it's love. I'm not sure." I feel like I made a mistake. 

"Renee if you think you love him and think he loves you, then go for it. I know I can't stop you. If he goes one step out of line his face is toast do you hear me?" Cindy sounds threatening. 

"Yeah Cindy." I roll my eyes. 

"I'm serious. You've been my best friend since I was 5. I will not let some guy break your heart." She yawns. 

"Go to sleep Cindy." I yawn too. 

"Goodnight sleep tight." She says. 

"Goodnight." Click. I end the phone call. 

I start counting sleep and quickly start to drift off this time. My thoughts drift to one final thought before I fall asleep. James.