Dear Stranger

Chapter 9

You slammed your door behind you. It was pretty late, but the neighbors were the least of your worries. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. Maybe it was all a dream. No. A nightmare. It was a nightmare. You slowly opened your eyes again, hoping to see darkness around you, but all you could find was your apartement, just like a few seconds ago.

You randomly threw your heels somewhere. "Ok...ok..." you tried to calm down. You held your head into your hands for a moment. You had no idea if your head were banging this much because of the alcohol or the panic. "This must be a mistake" you said to yourself. You looked around and your eyes found your laptop. You clapped your fingers in approval and hurried to open it.

Your hands were shaking. Your heart was pounding. You click on the Google icon and managed to tap "Darren Criss Iclemeyer". You hoped with all your heart that 'No pages found for your research' will appear. But no. Oh no. You found hundreds of links, tumblr, youtube, twitter. The first one was a video of a guy, who looked like Darren, but much younger and with way more hair. "No, no, no, no" you whispered as you catch the name of the channel. Iclemeyer. The video loaded and then you saw it.

"Uhm ok so I don't usually Youtube things, but I've seen a lot of people doing that so...". You clicked on a recommanded videos. "Why did you choose Iclemeyer as the name of your first channel?" an interviewer asked. Darren chuckled and answered "Uuuh it's a silly thing. It's what I used to call my imaginary friend when I was younger" he smiled. "Fuck" you said.

'It must be a namesake' you thought. You tried to think for a second. Your breathing increased, your heart were pounding even more, and that fucking headache wasn't helping anything. "The letters" you mumbled to yourself. You pratically ran to your room to find the letters in the drawer. You took them, and without even closing the drawer, you ran back to your laptop. You fumbled around to find the stories your letter boy (which was surely not Darren, right?) told you. The shame story.

You tapped "Darren Criss can story" on google. And your biggest fears were right in front of your eyes. "Darren Criss apologizes to the fan he accidentally threw a can at" you read as the title of the video. You bite your lip. Maybe you shouldn't watch it. Maybe you should just keep being ignorant about the letter boy. Or maybe you should just stop writing to him. Before you could even answer that question, the video started to play. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Darren asked. The girl couldn't really be seen on the video, but you guessed he wasn't having a conversation with a wall or something. "It's okay. It's just blood" the girl chuckled. "No it's not. No it's not" Darren seemed like he couldn't believe it. It was exactly like in the letter boy's story. 'No, it's not possible' you keep thinking. "I seriously thought I was going to be fired. I'm really really sorry honey" he apologized again. You quickly closed your laptop.

Ok. Ok. Darren is Iclemeyer. Iclemeyer is letter boy. So Darren is letter boy. 'Oh my god' you sighed. You fall on the couch. How could this be? Darren was the guy you couldn't stand and lclemeyer the guy you wished to have by your side. A tear fell down your cheek but you quickly brushed it away.

You decided to just go to sleep for now and try to process everything. Once the darkness you wished to see earlier was around you, your eyes refused to closed and your brain refused to stop thinking. And now what? Should you keep writing to him like he was a totally different person? Because to you he is. Darren was probably the last person you could associate with the letter boy. But it wouldn't be fair to him. He deserves to know too.

You turned your head to the clock. 6 am. "Fuck it" you declared. You went to get ready, shower and add a little make up to hide the traces of your sleepless night. You texted Ricky to get Darren's address, and fortunately, he answered quickly. You got into your car, and after a few deep breaths and a peptalk, you drove to his house. It was early but you couldn't wait. You took a few moment before knocking at his door, just to get ready.

It took him 20 minutes to open the door, after a good amount of loud knocks. He looked awful. He was still wearing his outfit from the party. A shirt that was half open but his pants had been traded for sweat pants at some point. His hair couldn't be more of a mess. A big pillow trace traveled his sleepy face. "You look drunk" you said. "You look tired" he replied. You shrug. "Fair enough" you exclaim and walk past him as he motioned for you to enter.

His house was nice, a little bit messy, but nice. "Darren I need to talk to you" you turned to face him and he was just a few inches away. He winces. "Ok..." he said low, almost in a whisper. "But please, stop screaming" he begged and rubbed his temples, groaning. "I need a coffee" he groaned. He walked to the kitchen and you followed him. "Do you want one?" he asked slowly. "No. Darren I need to talk to you" you repeat. "Then talk" he shrugs.

You thought all night about how to say it. Right away, nicely or not saying it at all. He made coffee as you stood there, still wondering how to say it. 'Hey! Remember that girl you talk to? Well it's me'. Too dumb. 'I like you'. What? No. Darren poured some water into a glass and took some medication. "So? What did you want to say?" he asked. He put his hands on the counter and leaned on it. Ok. It's time. First option. "I'm your letter girl" you spilled out.

He frowned then chuckled before he took another sip of his water. It was like he was suddenly out of his hangover."No you're not" he shaked his head. "Did Joey tell you about this?" he asked. "That's a very bad joke" he chuckled. ''Darren...'' you sighed. ''Tell him I laughed. A lot. Man, I can't believe he told you this'' he said more angrily. ''Darren, it's not a joke. It's true. I swear'' you explain.

He turned his back to you to take his cup of coffee. Not a sound could be heard. He doesn't believe you. You bit your lip and searched in your purse. You took out the letters he sent you and put them on the counter. ''I get these every now and then...'' you looked down. He turned around, put his cup of coffee down and took them into his hands. He seemed to examine them, but he couldn't deny it. It was his handwriting, his words, and he wrote them to you.

''Darren, I swear I had no idea it was you I... I just- '' ''I know. I... I didn't know either...'' he admitted. You nodded, and the silence filled the room once more. ''I don't understand something...'' he broke the silence. ''We never liked each other. I mean, when we are together. And uhm... I don't know. We were getting along pretty well in the letters, right? I didn't imagine all of this right?'' he asked. He looked almost scared of your answer. That was cute. ''I think we did too'' you admitted. He nodded and looked down.

You hated the silence that always came back between you. It was an usual thing between you and Darren; this silence. But between the letter girl and the letter boy, it was easy. Always inspired to write; always something to say. And now it was weird, awkward, and disturbing. ''Ok'' he finally said.

He moves towards your side of the counter and stood in front of you. ''Hi. My name is Darren. Nice to meet you'' he smiled. You grinned, ''What are you doing?''. ''Listen, I don't wanna stay on this bad relationship we have together. What I had with this letter girl'' he looked at the letters on the table ''was special. It still is. So it will continue to be special if we need to move forward from out first meeting. We screwed that up'' he chuckled. He got the same reaction from you. ''Those letters show that we can get along and even more than that. I actually never imagined meeting a girl like this but that's life, I guess. Sooo...'' he said slowly. ''Let's start over'' he proposed.

You looked into his eyes. It's one of the first things you noticed about a guy. He had beautiful eyes. More than that -- captivating. You always wondered what his eyes, the letter boy's eyes, looked like. You never really took anytime to notice Darren's before. But he had perfect eyes. It made you feel worthy; he cared about you. It wasn't the Darren you knew anymore. It was Iclemeyer. The guy you secretly told everything to, the guy you had a crush on, without really wanted to admit you had a crush on someone you had never met before, and there he was. The crook of his mouth raised up in a sweet smile and you couldn't take it anymore.

''Nice to meet you, Darren. I'm y/n'' you eventually said. You held out your hand to him. He looked at it and took it before slowly shaking it. It felt good. His smile were warm. And suddenly you didn't see the awful guy anymore, just the dear stranger.