You're the Only Hope For Me

Chapter Nineteen

Frank

Everyone called me a fighter. I was in a heated battle with lung cancer and I still played shows with the band. I still refused to just stand and play my guitar on stage. I refused to let the fans down.

I wasn't even supposed to make it this far. They told me that exerting myself like this would shorten my time or lessen my chances. Did I care? No. I'm fucking Frank Iero. I may be a short and slim, but I am not a quitter. I'm a strong ass motherfucker.

Gerard smiled and put his hand on my shoulder. He looked at our reflection in the mirror in front of us. I must've been looking at myself for a while.

"Lost in thought?" he asked with a smirk.

I smiled, "Just a little."

He rubbed my back, "It's called determination, buddy. You've got the will and power to win this."

I nod, "That's what I've been convincing myself."

"Hey," a techie called our attention. We turned our heads and awaited his reluctant response, "We need you guys out there in five minutes."

Gerard nodded and thanked him. I turned to the mirror once more. I ran a hand through my hair and pulled back with a tuft of hair. Closing my eyes, I breathed deeply through my nose.

Looking back to Gee, I found tears starting to form in his eyes. He knew what I was going through the most. He understood pain like nobody else did. He felt bad for me, which I hated, but it was the only way he could show me he cared.

I pushed a smile on my lips, "I'll be okay. I promise."

He collided with me and wrapped his arms around my neck. I hugged him tightly and hung my chin over his shoulder.

He pulled away with a smile and wiped a few stray tears, "Let's go kick some ass."

Just in the knick of time, the four of us were set on stage. Final touches to our hair and makeup were made. They secured the tubes to my oxygen tank and ran off stage. Gerard looked to me, as if waiting for my signal. I nodded and he smiled brightly, giving a thumbs up backstage.

When the curtain was pulled, I almost lost my breath. We were told it was a sold out show, but I never expected to see so many people. We opened with Na Na and pumped the fuck out of them. They were insane. This was our second to last show of the tour and they best crowd so far.

As always, I was unable to contain myself and moved around the stage like a maniac. I spun circle around my guitar and banged my head to the beat of Ray's drum. I was careful though. I listened to Rose. She begged me to slow down when I got tired. So, when I did, I would stay towards the back of the stage, focusing on breathing rather than preforming.

As I gained confidence, I moved towards the edge of the stage. The girls went nuts, reaching for me. I smiled and played for them, chord after chord. Each time I would do it on a different side. They loved it.

By the time we'd finished our last song, I was exhausted. Mikey looked to me with concern and nudged Gerard as he was making his last impression on the crowd. They all turned to me. Why? I wondered. Was there something on my face?

I blushed, but felt no warmth in my cheeks. It was already there before. Sweat dripped down my face and I started to feel dizzy. No wonder people were starting to look at me funny.

Ray signaled backstage and Mikey stood beside me. Gerard kept the crowd busy, making quite grand of a finale. He was worried, but he was a master of close up magic.

Once the curtain was dropped, I fell against Mikey. He caught me and helped me to the ground. Gerard knelt down beside me and called for more help. It was tough to get a breath in, which scared me, but I did my best.

The crowd still cheered on. We usually did an encore. I didn't want to let the fans down or make them think I wasn't okay.

"I'm fine guys, let's finish the show," I said and stood back up. I tried too quickly and fell back again.

Gerard ordered Mikey to hold me down and ran backstage.

"The show is over Frank, just breathe," Mikey told me calmly.

Telling someone to breathe with lungs like mine is like telling someone with insomnia to go to sleep. It's not easy. I ignored my annoyance with the phrase and closed my eyes, holding my head to stop the spinning.

Gee came back with a team of medics and a stretcher. They helped lift me onto it and rolled me out the fire exit towards an ambulance. The lights were on, but the alarm wasn't blaring, at least from what I could tell.

I craned my neck to find Gerard, "Guys I'm fine, I feel fine. You have to believe me."

He looked ahead of me, "Just to be safe, okay? We'll meet you there."

I reached out as he got further and further away. He'd stopped chasing me and let the ambulance consume me. Mikey and Ray stood at his sides and comforted him. That was the last thing I saw before the doors closed on me.