Need You Now (Watty Awards 2014)

Chapter 19

Hope ya'll love it!!

 

            It was as if it never even happened. That he never helped me get to my feet. That he wasn't the one who turned a kiss goodbye into a passionate dream that made me love him even more, even though i didn't want to admit it. As if he never even met me. That's what killed me. It was as if the nightmare never ended. I was pretending to be perfect, when my life was falling apart. 

           Don't get me wrong, not having an extremely abusive mother who can put you in a hospital is more than i could have ever dreamed. I'm currently living with my best friend who is now my sister, and i'm filthy rich that it almost hurts. Almost. I have a two loving parents who i love more than i can put into words. My therapy has made me feel safe again. It made me realize that she isn't coming back. That the nightmares are the past and this is my bright future. Perfect right? 

           Wrong. Utterly wrong. Ever since he left its like a hole has been left in my chest that can never be refilled. I'm utterly and completely in love with him. But as of now he hates me. Doesn't even look me in the eye. The same guy that tried so hard to help me through this; the same guy that said would never hurt me; the same guy that i needed the most, left. He left because he was scared. He left because he couldn't handle all of the lies and the secrets. He couldn't handle the fact that i was too scared to tell him that i was almost beaten to death my Mother. Asshole right? 

       Wrong again. Don't get me wrong, but i don't blame him. I knew this would happen. I knew that once i told him what was really going on, he'd hurt. He would be scared to be with me. He would be too scared to love me back. That's why i kept it a secret from everyone. I couldn't stand someone getting hurt by me. I don't want to end up like my mother. But he didn't understand that. Just as i had planned would happen. 

            So now, i have to act like everything is okay when i am around him. When he passes me up in the halls and just says, "Hi,"---(that's it! He doesn't even say my name anymore), i have to say "Hi." like nothing has changed. Like no feelings were ever exchanged between us. Like there was nothing. It was killing me inside. And i wanted so much just to talk to him but he literally has shunned me. Blocked me out of his life! Chelsea and the girls say he is just trying to absorb it all, but i don't think a month without contacting me in any way, or asking how i was doing, is 'trying to absorb it all'. Bullshit. I know they are only saying that to make me feel better. 

           I hate it. I hate every second of the day without seeing his face. So when he does just make that small exchange in the hall, or ask me simple questions in class like, "Can you get my pencil for me?" or "What did the teacher say? I couldn't hear." I cherish it. I take in every last second of his God-Like voice and his gorgeous eyes and cherish the moment. Because that's all i have of Eddie anymore. 

"Sarah. Sarah!! Snap out of it will you?!!" Chelsea screams at me. Apparently i was really day-dreaming about Eddie because we are now the only two people in the class and apparently the bell rang five mintues ago. Great. So that means i've been sitting here off in space for the whole class when we have a MAJOR exam tomorrow. Perfect. Just Perfect. 

           I appologize to Chels as we start walking out of the classroom. She suddenly links arms with me and pulls me to the lockers. 

"Chelsea, what are you doing. If we don't get to lunch soon, Jacob is going to steal my spot again!" I whispered loudly as she shhed me up. 

             Jacob and i made up around two weeks after i got adopted by Chelsea. Now don't get me wrong, we aren't best friends but we get along and he sits at our table again. I don't love him anymore and he has no feelings for me. It's more of a mutual friendship. It's complicated. Oh, and i forgot to mention that Erin and Jacob are officially a couple! Sweet thing, Erin was almost in tears when she told me, she felt so bad. But i reassured her that it was totally fine and i told her about how i felt about Eddie. Erin is a big gossiper so hopefully the entire student body doesn't know just yet. 

 "Look at that!" Chelsea whispered- screamed as she pointed over to Stacy Young....all over Eddie. God, that slut!!! 

           Now lets take a second to explain who the Slut-Of-The-Year is! Stacy Young is what we call, the Post-It. She sticks to every single guy, has sex with them, then when the sex isn't good anymore, she moves on to another hopeless boy. Sad, but true. Plus, she hates me. Have no idea why, but she just does. And i hope she is happy (HA! No, LIE!) because the feelings are mutual.

"You don't think she's already stuck to him yet has she?" I replied, in the saddest tone i have ever taken in my life. My heart literally felt as if someone ran over it 100000 times, then started beating it with a hammer, then decided that wasn't enough and threw it in a fire. Lets just say, it hurt. And just as i was done asking that question, they started sucking faces. Heart is now desentigrated. I felt warm tears come to my eyes as Chelsea stroked my shoulder. 

"I'm afraid so, babe. I'm so sorry," 

"No. NO! I am not going to let him get to me like this. I have to stay strong," I said while swallowing the huge lumb in my throught. 

                                                     Yep, my life is just dandy!