Need You Now (Watty Awards 2014)

Chapter 24

                 I decided after i left the bathroom, that i didn't want to go home tonight. I wanted some more time with Eric. I needed more time with him. He made the hole left from Eddie, feel like it was almost whole again. 

            Although, i didn't see him in the living room. Where did he go? As i started walking towards the opposite bathroom, i hear him wincing in pain. 

"Eric? Are you okay?!" I have a freaked out tone in my voice as i say this and he doesn't reply. He continues to cry out in pain, and i just can't take it anymore. I open the door to see blood dripping from his arm, onto the floor. He's holding out his wrist and holding a small pocket knife in his hand. 

"Sarah, you're supposed to knock," he sharply whispers as he glares at me with tears in his eyes. I can't even speak. I'm numb all over and there are no words that come through me. All i can do is stare at him in total horror. 

             All i do is slowly walk towards him. He looks at me cautiously as i take the knife from his hand and throw it away in the trash. I take his hand, full of blood and walk with him to the sink. Still in silence, i rinse the blood from his arm and hands. I take out the cleansing medicine and pour it over his cuts, and rinse once more, getting them cleaned up. After i take out the bandaids, and apply them to the wounds. 

           Why would he do this to himself? He has a wonderful mother and father. He has a beautiful home and a gorgeous face. His future seems bright. Why is he so messed up inside? Why would he want to harm himself? I had to ask. Who caused him this much internal pain, i had to know. But this would have to wait. 

         After the cleansing of his wounds was over, i simply looked up at him. His eyes were bloodshot from the tears, and his eyes. His eyes held a pain that i never took the time to notice. I only seemed to see the beauty of their color. They held so much depression, it broke my heart. They looked like, my eyes. 

     I took my hands and put them both on his cheeks, making him look back at me. We didn't speak. We simply stared at each other. Speaking with our eyes. Him, he simply cried. i continued to wipe his tears and shhed him. 

          I knew his pain. I knew exactly how he felt at this very moment. He felt so much pain that it literally was killing him inside. Screwing up his head to think that nothing or anyone could never help him. That he was worthless. He felt as if he had no reason to be here. That no one knew is story. That the secrets and the pain had been held in so long that he couldn't take it anymore. It was eating him alive and the only way he could deal with it was through his own personal pain. Because the pain of slicing his own wrists wasn't even close to the actual pain that he was feeling inside. 

         I felt warm tears in my eyes when i let him cry, holding him close to me. I wanted to let him know that i was here. That I was never going to let him go. That he wasn't alone in this world. He was beautiful and he means something. 

"Eric?" I cried, letting my own tears come out. He picks up his head, his tears starting to slow down, his breathing become more steady. 

"I'm sorry, Sarah. I didn't want you to see me like that," he cries, putting one of my loose hairs out of my face. I smile at him softly, and softly chuckled. 

"Eric, you don't have to be sorry. This isn't your fault. I'm going to help you," I whispered. He looked confused for one second, almost wondering why i didn't walk out that door and leave him behind, to shrival up in his own pain. 

           That was never going to happen. I know what it's like to be left alone when you need that certain person the most. That you need help, but that person isn't willing to give it to you because they are too scared. Because they are too selfish. They are only thinking of themselves in that situation. And i wasn't planning on letting Eric, ever, feel that way. He was already in so much pain as it was. 

           Without letting me take him in my arms, his lips get closer and finally land on mine. Their warm, and even though its nothing close to the feeling I feel with Eddie, it's sweeter. There's comfort, love, and knowing that someone actually cares enough to stay. Something that I once had, but lost. Now, i have it again. 

              He takes the time to slowly deepen the kiss, cupping my cheeks in his hands. I slowly trail my hands up his arms, and play with the hair at the back of his neck. We stay like this, healing each other. Telling each other we are going to be okay, because we have each other. And we don't plan on going anywhere.