Need You Now (Watty Awards 2014)

Chapter 22

  Once i told Chelsea what happened last night with Eddie, that's all she has been talking about! She keeps on insisting that i meet him, try to reconnect with him but i just can't. I can't make him believe getting me back will be that easy for him. Yes, I love him more than words can say. But i just can't let him take advatage of me like he has been doing. I won't be maken a fool of. 

 "Sarah, why are you making this so complicated? All he did was ask if he could meet you some where! Haven't you been dying to see him talk to you for weeks??" She asks concerned, as i feel warm tears come to my eyes. 

"I just," she sighs, "I know you don't like me pushing you. But i just can't stand my best friend to be so sad all the time!! So, please just meet him tonight. Maybe after school?" she asks patiently, brushing the teared-wet hair out of my face. 

"NO! I told you I can't. He's moved on and so should I. He should have thought twice before he shunned me out of his life." I said sternly as i got up, whiped the few tears and walked out the room, leaving Chelsea on the bed, crying for her sister. 

             I decided to go out. I needed a break from all of this drama. All my life has ever been is depression, denial, and complication. For once in my life, i just want to live. And that's exactly why i called Eric. I don't know why, but when i'm with him i finally feel alive again. And that's exactly what i wanted. 

        I got into my car, backed out of my driveway and drove straight for his house. I need to have fun. I needed, just something to feel some sort of spark in my body again. 

           When i got up to his driveway, I also glanced at my old home. It looked the same as i left it. It had wood scattered from me escaping from her that day. The day Chelsea practically saved my life. The day she almost killed me. If i never wanted to remember these horrible images of my past, why was i walking up to the front door? Why did i open the door and stepped in, only to see at as it was left. It had more of a mildew smell now instead of the deep stench of alchohol. There were still beer bottles and cigs all over the living room. I walkedd up until i see a rat run across to the fire place. I don't scream, but simply flinched. Rats are not an uncommon thing to me. I've had to sleep near them all my life so I am used to them. 

       As I keep walking, I look down to see, what brings the images and horror back to my mind. The feelings of hate and hurt comes all back, sending a cold sweat to the back of my throat. The bile rises and i try my best to swallow it back down. I'm looking at, my fluids on the floor. All that blood....i didn't realize how bad she actually beat me until this very moment. I couldn't even see anymore as i slowly open the closet door. There, stood the golden mirror. I took a look in it. The girl i saw was no different. There were tears streaming and pain in her eyes that would never go away. No matter how many treatments she went to. The only difference, was that there were no bruises. No blood no cuts, no marks. The concealer was still there. Everything was still here. 

        That's just when i went completely numb. I couldn't feel a thing. Why was i doing this? Why, after years of trying to escape this place, would i put myself back into it at pure will? Why am i purposly torturing myself. I didn't know. I tried to dig into some parts of my brain that was still sane and i found nothing. I had no idea why i was here. 

        I could no longer feel my legs, my arms.....nothing. It's as if i was a ghost. It was as if this was all a dream. I slowly lifted my hand up to my arm, and pinched. Nope, this was real. This was really happening. 

          That's when i completley lost it. I dropped to the wooden floor and cried. No, i broke down. All that treatment, all that healing was broken. It's as if i was glass that was just shattered. I heard a scream and realized it was my own. Why am i screaming? I have no idea. But i just want to cry. I want to break down. All the memories are coming back so fast that i start to get a migrane. I grab and pull my hair to keep the memories out, but its no use. 

          She's hitting me over and over and over and the tears are no longer a stopping point for her. 

"YOU KILLED YOUR FATHER!!' 

"YOU KILLED YOUR FATHER!!" 

"YOU KILLED YOUR FATHER!!" 

"YOU KILLED YOUR FATHER!!" 

"YOU KILLED YOUR FATHER!!" 

                         Over and over and over in my head. The voice just won't go away and its slowly killing me. I just want to die. Right here and right now. I want all of this to go away. I want to be with Robert. I want to be safe from these feelings and from this mean world that we live in today. 

          Suddenly, my thoughts are slightly blocked from a slam on the door. She's here. Oh, my god its coming true. Maybe i never left. Maybe i was never saved. Maybe she found me at the hospital and all of this was some sort of sick nightmare. Some sick joke. I curled myself into a ball as i heared the person run up until it said my name. 

"NO!! PLEASE!!! DON'T HIT ME! PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME! PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME!! ILL DO ANYTHING!!" I screamed as i covered my head for protection. 

"Sarah, shhhhhhh. Shhhhhh its okay. It's me. It's Eric. Your best friend? It's not her okay? I'm gonna take care of you okay? Your okay. Your safe." he cooed in my ear as he grabbed my squirming body in his arms. 

           Once i stop shaking, i burry my face in his chest and just cry. Everything held in from all this month and the years back come back. He strokes my hair and brings me back to his house.