Little Hope That's Left

Chapter 3

Hi, I know that y'all don't like this, I don't either, but I would like to say a few things really quick:
1) don't copy this story that's just rude
2) I'm not professional so please don't be mean about mistakes
3) this story is fiction
4) please let me know about thoughts and books that you are writing, I love to read. Go on with the book...

The Kisses:

The headache did not go away, but I did not expect it to. Thanks to my loving mother and father, I had coffee. Coffee was my savior as it demolished the throbbing in my frontal lobe. Once it was gone, I started my day, again.
My thoughts go back go Holden, as I stand in the mirror. The night before replays in my head, and the memory of him in those jeans make very bad thoughts come into my brain, very bad thoughts. The worst part, I am supposed to sit with him on the bus today, but I do not know if I can do it with the thoughts I have, and the feelings I have.
Today there is a field trip to Main Event for those who have all A's, and I am going, but so are the two boys who showed up last night. After my everyday schedule for the morning, I slide into my car and drive to the hell hole they call high school.
"Hey Momma." My 'daughter' Jackie, yells at me from across the cafe. "You are here." She smiles and throws her arms around my neck, and pulls me into the awkward touching of a hug.
"Yeah, I'm here." I smile and almost fall, trying to escape the feeling of another human so close to my own body.
"Are you still sitting with Holden?" She stares blankly at me, waiting for tears to flow out of my eyes, but to her surprise, none come out.
"Uhh I'm supposed to." I honestly do not know at this point. I am too scared to ask, and too childish to talk to him.
"Okay, I'll sit with Lizzie then."
We pass time with endless chatter about whatever random thoughts that pop into our heads. As the moment of entering the bus comes towards me, my nerves start bounce, and my hands start to shake.
My nerves are on full power, as I step onto the bus. I pick a sit near the front, knowing he wll not sit up here. Not to anyone's surprise, he does not. I feel hurt, but it is not anything new to me, so I let it slide. I plug in earphones and listen to loud and calming music all the way to Main Event.
The drive is boring and tiring, but the thought of Holden keeps me awake. Him and the fact Jackie and Lizzie in front of me are playing some game on Lizzie's iPad. They holler when one of them wins and I laugh slightly at the childish behavior.
The bus rolls to a stop in front of the building and my heart jumps, and my skin crawls. Thoughts go through my head about this moment, and they all end badly. Today could be perfect, but it will most likely be a disaster. I am not good with feelings, and this right now, is a feeling. The feelings I have towards him are making me jump.
We enter and instantly Jackie has my hand and is pulling me to air hockey. The one thing I am bad at. We fight back and forth for an hour, before I finally decide that I have failed and allow Elizabeth to play a few rounds with Jackie. As soon as their last game is done, Jackie comes up with another idea, that will make me look bad.
"Let's go bowl." Jackie pulls me and Lizzie and Elizabeth towards the lady handing out shoes. Bowling may seem fun, but I failed epicly. Halfway through the game, Charlie and Avery joined. They are really good bowlers, but they say that they suck. In the end, I got fourth. I was 24 point behind Jackie and only three point in front of Lizzie.
After lunch, I decide that I have to teach these lunatics how to play pool. Lizzie runs off with Charlie and Avery, and Elizabeth says she does not want to, so I end up only teaching Jackie. She is good right off the bat. She understands angles and is able to coordinate the ball. A smile cheers my face, as she makes a ball in.
"Yay!" She screams in enjoyment. I laugh, but clap at her enthusiasm. Elizabeth joins in too, and we play up until its time to go. Holden came and talked to me at one point, but it was short and nothing to worry about, or get exited about, but that does not stop me from being excited. Jackie and I run to the bus, wanting to redeem the sits we sat at before. Jackie ends up by herself this time and I sit with buds in my ears, and the vibration of texts in my hands.
Not long after we pulled out, do I feel someone beside me. I glance and see Holden looking at me, but he turns to talk with the guys in the seat across from us, so I return to the window. I feel his hand on my lower thigh and I know he wants my hand. I ignore it, and it was not until I feel his leg completely pressed against mine, that I turn around and take the ear bud out, just in time to see him form a word.
"What?" I ask the boy sitting extremely close to me. You might have figured out by now that I don't like touching, and he is touching me right now. Yet, I do not feel the need to make him move. He is my weakness, but luckily no one knows that yet.
"You don't want to hold my hand?" He repeats the question. I turn back to the window, too afraid to say anything. "Alright I see." And he turns back to the guys. I feel his hand on my thigh again, and his leg pushes up next to mine. "Come on." This time I put my head on, his shoulder, but I don't hold his hand. "Why don't you want to hold my hand?" he questions, and before I can over think it, I take ahold of his hand. I think that this is perfect, but it does not last too long.
"Kiss me." I look at him in surprise. "Kiss me." He repeats. I shake my head and sit up. "Come on. Kiss me." I blush but still shake my head. "Come on." my head is back on his shoulder. This time I do not hesitate to put my lips on his. Instantly his grip on my tightens and his tongue is in my mouth. I pull back, that is not what I expected, but it was great nonetheless. I turn back to the window, not able to look at him. Soon we are shot with an plastic green arrow. I unhook my hand from his and throw it at the boys across from us. Holden and the other two induce themselves in another conversation, so I go back to the views of construction. His hand is yet again on my thigh, and soon he is back to sitting beside me fully.
"Can I put my arm around you?" He asks before I can say anything and I just nod. I lay my head on his shoulder, and we just sit there, until he tells me to kiss him. I shake my head and sit up.
"Kiss me again." His voice is a whisper, and suddenly there is no one on this bus but us. I see us rolling down the street, but it feels like time has froze. His voice is soft, husky, and full of emotions. The lust clear in his eyes, and I look away. The look of sexual attraction makes me nervous. He kisses the top of my head, then my cheek and moves a little closer to my lips and kisses it again and again and again until he made it to my lips. This time I know what is going to happen and I am ready for it. His lips meet mine and we elope into the kiss. Our tongues full on fighting for dominance, but once again I pull back.
We just sit there, until we get shot again and I take his arm off of me, and grab ahold of his hand.
"I liked it better around you." He complains.
"Why?" I question, not really caring about the answer.
In the end, I let him place his arm back around me.
"Kiss me again. The last time. The third ones the charm." I smile at his cheesiness. His lips meet my cheek again. He may not know it now, but that's a huge turn on for me, and I can feel it growing in the pit of my stomach and the knot in between my legs. He moves forward and I turn and kiss him, no hesitation, no warning, just a kiss. This last longer than the other two, and it's much hotter. Our tongues are foreign to each other. The taste of him is new and worth exploring. The feel of his taste buds makes me gooey. It makes me want to continue and not stop. The feel of his hand on my thigh and the other on my arm, makes me go crazy and I don not know what I will do next. I grab his hand on my thigh and hold it. I'm beyond scared of what I might do if I don not stop soon. I pull back needing air, and the fear of getting caught. This time he plays with my hair.
"Last time." He twirls a strand of my wavy brown and pink hair.
"That's what you said last time." Our voices are soft, so no one else can hear.
"But this really will be the last time because we are almost back to school." As much as I wanted go kiss him again, I held myself back. I need to learn the resist him, but it is all too hard. All my thoughts catching up. I kissed a guy three times without dating him. I have dated seventeen guys, kissed two, well now three, but those two I have kissed, only got kissed once and they had to date me for three months first. He got everything he wanted and did not have to put up with a relationship.
Right then, in that moment, I realized that I could have gotten played, and in that moment the hurt feels deeper than it ever has before, but even then, I feel no regret for what I did. The only thing going through my mind is the feeling of his tongue against mine, and his hands on my thighs and around me and in my hair, and his lips on mine, on my cheek, in my hair. He is consuming my thoughts, but I do not mind. I actually enjoy it, while I hope that it happens again, but that is all it is. Hope.
Hope is a funny word. To me it means, not wanting something to end, but others see it as a way go get through life. I don't know how they can do it. The few times I hope, I get hurt, so if your whole life is based on it, are you constantly hurt?
These thoughts escape as I meet up with Jackie again. She did not turn around once, and she has no clue of what was going on behind her. Being honest here, I don not know if I want her to know what me and Holden did. She will be mad at me, and right now I am on cloud nine. I am not ready go fall back to reality. Thank god it is Friday. I take one last look at the boy who stole my heart, before leaving the school lot.
One last thought enters my mind. What happened to the girl that he left me for?

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Dear Human Reading,

I know that you don't like author notes, I don't either, but I want you to know a few things.

- I am not a good writer, so I apologize

- I don't know where this book is going, but it will go somewhere

- I will post the amount of words in each author note

- You don't have to read the author's note

- There are 2126 words in this chapter

Thank you,

Cherry