Little Hope That's Left

Chapter 7

Hi, I know that y'all don't like this, I don't either, but I would like to say a few things really quick:
1) don't copy this story that's just rude
2) I'm not professional so please don't be mean about mistakes
3) this story is fiction
4) please let me know about thoughts and books that you are writing, I love to read. Go on with the book...

Recap:
After I avoided Zack's question, and everyone left, I should there, very confused. I knew that I should tell them, but I do not want to, but at the same time, I feel as though I need to. They are such great friends to me, but even they have secrets, so can I just keep these two? They are not that big, but they are a little bit. I mean I might have a half-brother or sister and I might have had a twin at some point, but not anymore, but I feel as thought telling them this would make them feel differently about me. All of this and thoughts of Holden swarm into my mind and create the biggest storm you have ever seen. With blurred thoughts and a confused heart, I do the one thing I swore to never to do again.
The blade thick with weight in my hand and the blood flowing freely from my wrist, I stare at it in amazement. The way that the thickened colored moved as it pushed out of my skin, had me in a dase. It had me in such a dase, that it sliced through the thin layers of my skin again and again, allowing my arm to look like a red river, flowing faster with each cut of the blade. Getting darker with each slice through the skin. I become bolder and bolder, going deeper and deeper into my arm, feeling all of my mental pain disappering, getting replaced with real pain. The pain sends my body in hyper drive, making me realize what I have done and reach for the phone, speed dialing the first name that comes to mind.
"Tristan, I-I" Was all I could get out before I choked on tears, suddenly feeling a wave of nausa hitting me hard, almost sendjng me tumbling to the floor.
"I'll be right there, don't do anything." Somehow he was able to know exactly what I did, and I instantly felt bad, because he should not be able to know. This should be completely new to him, but the scars on his wrists and mine prove us otherwise. I can not think, by the time my floor is painted red. The sound of Tristan's voice is now a meer muffle and I can no longer feel the burning of my wrists, it is all just numb. My vision is getting darker by the second, and I there is nothing that I can do to stop it. This is all my fault, I have brought this upon myself and Tristan and everyone else and I can only blame me.
"I am so sorry." I mumble incoherent words, before everything is gone, but one person, stuck in my imagination; Tristan

The Mission:
I awake to an all too familiar sound and almost scream at the sight of my arms. The are a pale white, making me think I was a ghost, with deep red lines covering the forearm. Each slash, big and brighter than one one before. Luckily they had me on pain meds, so I could not feel how much they hurt, but the sight hurts more than the cuts themselves ever could.
My mind starts to swirl with the thoughts of the other people who I have hurt with my actions, but I honestly do not care. They were not there for me when I needed them, so now they get to see what happens when I try and revisit my past.
I haven't heard from anyone, when they come in I block them out. I no longer feel the need go be around and that is probably the reason for my arms. Holden no longer swarms my mind. Angel no longer talks about boys. C.C. no longer tries to come around. Tristan has just about given up too. I no longer care about them, as I don't know who I can. They don't understand why I do what I do. It isn't because I am sad, it's because I don't know what's going to happen and I'm scared. The pain shows me that I am still in control, even when I feel like I am no longer in control. I guess this could be the end.
Soon I refuse to eat and turn into a zombie. I ignore every living thing and continue to mope about. I got out of the hospital not too long ago and now I want it all to end. The pain is still there, but the hope is not.
I take one last look in the mirror, before the knife slides one last time, forgetting everything here is my new goal.
~

Dear Human Reading,

I know that you don't like author notes, I don't either, but I want you to know a few things.

- I am not a good writer, so I apologize

- I don't know where this book is going, but it will go somewhere

- I will post the amount of words in each author note

- I love to read, so post your books in the comments and I will read, vote, and comment

- I am a bad writer, so please leave notes so that I can fix mistakes

- You don't have to read the author's note, they just tell a little bit of information about me, or the book or my life or something else

- There are 1274 words in this chapter

- I want to say that, yes this is the end of the book. It was sudden yes because I got bored with it. My next book will be longer, if I don't get bored with it too.

- Oh my, I just saw that 91 ppl have read this. Thank you sooooo much!!!

- You will probably not get another chapter for a week, but by then you will most likely get 3 or 4, possibly 5 chapters, so hopefully it is worth the wait. You can decide how you want it done, but if I were you I would rather wait then have 5 back to back, just saying

- Please comment!! I need direction and advice

- I will have the entire book (26 chapters) done and published (all at once) hopefully by yhe end of April, so it might be awhile before I post again. I will only post chapter 7 and maybe 8 before I stop and post all at once. I am sorry if anyone hates this idea, but this is how I am doing it. With STAAR and homework and people and the book, my life has became a stressful mess and I want to fix it. Sorry for the problems.

- This chapter is shorter by almost exactly 200 words, and I apologize, but I thought that this was the best way to end the chapter, just like the others, on the edge of your seat cliffhanger, and I want you to know that I do that because I want to keep you interested in the book and I think I am doing a good job, well probably not a good job, but anyway yeh so sorry for this shorter chapter, and sorry for it not being 2000 words, but like stated I am extremely stressed

Thank you,

Cherry