Little Hope That's Left

Chapter 2

Hi, I know that y'all don't like this, I don't either, but I would like to say a few things really quick:
1) don't copy this story that's just rude
2) I'm not professional so please don't be mean about mistakes
3) this story is fiction
4) please let me know about thoughts and books that you are writing, I love to read. Go on with the book...

The Night:

I froze as the door swung open, reveling the boy on the other side. My face full of shock, and my heart full of confusion and my mind on over-drive. "What are you doing here?" Surprise stings my words as the flow out of my mouth and hit the floor. He says nothing and shows no sign of hearing my words, or movement that he will answer. He just stands there, looking at the ground. "Come on Karter, you have to tell me something." This time annoyance is biting my words and making me sound like a bitch, but I could not care less at this moment, I am not very happy today, too many feelings and not enough time to figure them out. I am like Sheldon, from The Big Bang Thoery. I had no feelings, until certain people came into my life, and now I cannot get rid of them.
"I just felt so bad. I'm so sorry Infinity. I never meant to hurt you." By this time tears were falling from his beautiful, moon light, face, and when they fell, it felt like they hit my heart, very hard. Seeing him standing there, crying because of me made me want to hurt myself. I cannot stand tears, let alone his.
"Hey, it's okay." I try and ease out to him. I am not very good with my own emotions, let alone fixing someone else's. "Come inside. I'll make hot chocolate and we can talk." I open the door wider and he shuffles in, not speaking another word.
"I just didn't want y'all together." He admits, while I am making the hot chocolate. I almost forget to breathe but the stinging of my lungs reminds my body that it needs to exchange carbin-dioxide for oxygen, and tells my brain to take in a breath.
"Why?" I trip over my tongue and have to say it twice, before it actually sounds like a word.
"Because someone I know likes you and Holden didn't really like you." My heartbeat is off and my blood not being even, starts to make the world around me sway a little. I stop and regain my balance before continuing to make the hot chocolate.
"Who, if I may ask." I figure he will not tell me, which means I need to investigate. I need to text Angel, maybe she will help me. I honestly do not think she will though, but I have to figure this out, even if I have to do it alone.
"A lot of people actually." He does not seemed to be bothered by this, and it makes me feel odd inside. A lot of people, that means that more than one person likes me, and I have not noticed anyone. I am losing me touch, I need to start all over again. I need to dye my hair bright green and lose the glasses and put in contacts and maybe even get a lip ring. This weekend I will. I will not go back down the road I went on in fifth grade. I will not allow anyone to change me back to that.
"Who?" I tried to hide my curiosity, but it was stirred into my voice. He shakes a little as a small laugh comes from his pink lips. His lips. So full and nice. I bet that they would be sweet like sugar.
"I'm not allowed to say." He interrupts my thoughts. Of course he is not. Why would he be?
"Oh. Here." I hand him his hot chocolate, while my eyes try and find something to land on other than his eyes.
"Thanks. You know that Holden never really liked to you, right?" Sadness and anger mix inside me and it starts to reach the boiling point.
"Uh yeah." I am not very convincing, but it does not really matter what I say, he knows the truth and that is all that matters.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to break your heart again." He turns quiet and I could see the tears near the corner of his eyes.
"I know you don't, and it hurts a little now, but soon it will be gone. Every cut heels and every storm stops. It is just how things are." For some reason everytime I talk to him, I want to make him feel better. I do not like that look of a heart broken boy and the saddened eyes of a boy without hope. He needs to be happy and I am making it my job that he is. He seems like an amazing guy and he would be even better if was happy, but right now I am the cause of his sadness.
"It doesn't hurt much anymore. It feels numb now." I do not really know why I told him that, but I did. His face resembles those of who see ghosts. He's pale and eyes are wide open.
"What do you mean?" I just sorta shrug it off. "Like, do you feel anything?"
"I don't feel pain, and I don't feel happiness. I don't feel any emotion."
Just as the one and only Karter was about to say something, his phone rings an all to familiar tone.
"Holden, Hey bro." As the words fall from his pink lips, my heart freezes. That cold feeling in my chest is so usual now, that I almost did not notice it. "No, I'm with...someone." At least my name is not mentioned. "Just someone I have to go. Holden, dude. Wait what?" He pauses for what seems like a thousand minutes. "Yes, you should go to Infinity's. Okay, I will let her know." He sends a wink my way. With wide eyes, and a froze body, I watch as Karter leaves.
I am still frozen when Holden knocks on the door.
"Hey." I fake smile as I open the door. Seeing him there, so tall and hot. His dark jeans tight exactly where they are supposed to be, showing off just enough to have those very bad thoughts enter my head again. His black shirt fitting perfectly, stretching tightly against his muscles and flowing loosely as it meets his jeans. His eyes shining brightly and capturing mine, and his smile pure and wide, making it hard not to be attracted. The fact that he can turn me on with just a look, it's not very fair, but the world is not based on fairness so whatever. I look him over again, probably making him wonder what I'm doing.
"Hey. I came to talk." He loses his words, but catches them up again.

"Okay." I allow him to come in and sit upon my dining room. He looks questionably at the cups sitting at the table.

"He was here wasn't he?" His voice is drained of all emotion. We both know he is talking about Karter, but he does not need to know he was here.

"No. My brother was, until I told him you were coming. Then he shot out of here faster than light." The lie is slick, and comes off of my tongue way too easily. Lying to him hurts me, but the truth would hurt him.
"Oh. Well let me tell you everything before you talk. One, I'm not in love with anyone. Two, I only said that to hurt you and afterwards I felt terrible. Three, you shouldn't forgive me but I will ask that you do. And four, you are hot right now." The moment those words are said, I look down at my clothes. I have a light blue tank top, and black short shorts on. Then my very bad thoughts return but this time it's more than just kissing. I blush brightly and look away from his eyes. Inside those creamy chocolate eyes are a lot of different emotions, and not all of them I understand. I see darkness and lightness mixed into his eyes and they just give me more reasons to like him. He is a mystery to me, and every mystery must be solved. He is a puzzle and every puzzle must be put together. He is a lost boy and I have to show him the way to Netherland.
"Look Holden, I forgive you. I probably shouldn't, but I will anyway. For the last one, I don't know what to say." He smirks. His amazing smile is back, and his eyes no longer show lightness, they are full on dark. It is my turn to smirk, as realization hit that I was turning him on.
"I'm not here for anything like that. I'm here to apologize." Well at this rate, something like that might happen.
"Well I forgive you."
"I'm sorry Infinity." The sadness in his wonderful brown eyes, make me want to cry. They no longer hold the darkness before. Now they are light and water filled.
"Please stop looking at me like that." I beg, my voice thickened with the threat of tears.
"Uh sorry." He darts his eyes around the room. "I like that painting." He pointed to a picture on the wall of me. I had done when I first started to paint.
"Thanks." The air shifted to awkwardness, as we settled.
"Infinity." My name is a breath in his lungs. He wants to say something, but he is holding himself back, and I do not understand why.
"Holden." My voice soft and venerable. He has not yet found my weaknesses, but he is sure getting close. He stands beside me and stares deeply into my eyes. He stands there for a minute searching for something, but I cannot give something if I don't know what it is.
"I should go." With that, he walks away. I do not know why my heart begins to break, or why I want him back. I guess I am fond of him. I feel the twisting and turning in my stomach way before I feel the tears. I lay in bed and just cry. I cry until sleep pulls me into its arms.
"Infinity!" Screaming awakens not only me, but a headache too.
"What? I yank the door open.
"Chill." My brother walks in.
"Shouldn't wake me up." I reply to the ignorant boy who walked in.
"Whatever." He replies, being the dick he is.
"What do you want?" I am annoyed and he is not helping.
"I want to know who was here." Oh, all he cares about is the people that enter my apartment.
"A friend." Not a lie, but not fully the truth.
"Who?"
"A friend." Again with the almost lie.
"Why was he here?" Which he is he talking about? I do not want to make a mistake, so I do not answer.
"I needed to talk to him."
"That's what phones are for." What? Since when did Dillon care who I was around?
"I didn't want to talk on the phone."
"You have sex?" What? Why would he ask that? Is he mentally ok
"Nope." I tell the truth, but second guess whether I actually wanted to tell the truth.
"Okay." He leaves. What was his problem? What a jackass. This is why I hate younger siblings. God.
I smile at the ceiling and think about nothing but Holden. I don't care how much trouble I will get in, or how much time I will waste. I want the guy who was here less then two hours ago. He was exactly who he showed me he was, and I want him back.
I fall back onto my bed, so I can try and sleep off this headache and hopefully the thoughts of Holden too, but from the thoughts inside my head tell me that it will not happen soon.

~~~

Dear Human Reading,

I know that you don't like author notes, I don't either, but I want you to know a few things.

- I am not a good writer, so I apologize

- I don't know where this book is going, but it will go somewhere

- I will post the amount of words in each author note

- You don't have to read the author's note

- There are 2105 words in this chapter

Thank you,

Cherry