Love Arrows

Being Numb or Feeling Pain?

Chapter 33: Being Numb or Feeling Pain?

Lena’s P.O.V

I woke up early that Sunday morning. My eyes still felt puffy because of the crying from the night before, and because of the little amount of sleep I had gotten. Kim had shared her bed with me last night, and although she fell asleep immediately I stayed awake thinking about everything that had happened, and, I’m ashamed to say, Will.

Even when I finally fell asleep my dreams were filled with bad memories. The only thing I could remember from them was Will standing over me with a sneer on his face, telling me that he had wanted to hurt me from the beginning and that it was all a game. I shivered at the memory of Will’s cruel face, and a tear ran down my cheek at the memory.

Kim let out a small snore, which made me turn towards her in surprise. Her sleeping figure put a small smile on my face. She was sprawled on the bed with her covers twisted all around her.

I glanced at my watch and made a face. It was only 6 a.m, but I had to be sure I wouldn’t cross Will’s path, so the earlier the better.

I grabbed my bag that I had come to get yesterday, and snuck out quietly from the room. As I passed Will’s door to go downstairs, I felt the urge to peek in and watch him sleep. I tried to resist but the want to see him was too strong although I knew it would hurt me. It was almost as if I enjoyed the pain he made me feel. Just like yesterday, Kim caught me sniffing Will's deodorant, like an obsessive stalker. His smell hurt me, but it was nice sort of pain. Wow. I was really becoming a masochist.

I carefully opened his door and looked inside. When I saw Will’s bed was empty and still made a feeling of fear and worry washed over me. Where on earth was he? He couldn’t be up already. He was not a morning person. I knew him well enough to know that.

I debated if I should just leave, because I wasn’t supposed to care about him, but I couldn’t do that. Although he didn’t love me, it didn’t mean I should just leave him if he needed me. I regretted the words I had said to him, because I knew it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t love me. I bit on my lip hard, hoping that maybe the pain would help me make my decision I stared at his unmade bed for a while longer, until I finally made up my mind.

“Kim. Wake up.” I whispered as I shook her urgently.

“Lena?” She mumbled sleepily.

“Yes, it’s me. Look. You have to get up. Will still hasn’t come back.”

That woke her up immediately. Her eyes opened wide, and she sat up in a start. Her hair was a huge bird nest. In another situation, I would have laughed at it, but my face couldn’t even smile right now.

“Will’s bed is exactly how we left it last night, and it doesn’t look like he came back.”

“Maybe he’s already up?” Kim suggested unconvinced.

“Will? Up? At 6 a.m? Why do I have trouble believing that?”

“Have you tried calling him?” She asked.

I shook my head sheepishly. “I was hoping you would.” I admitted.

Kim grabbed her phone from the bedside table, and dialed Will’s number. I watched anxiously as Kim held the phone to her ear, praying that he would pick up. After a while, Kim’s face crumbles, and she throws her phone on her bed.

“Voicemail.” She says hopelessly.

“Do you have any idea where he could be?” I asked.

“Nope. My best guess would be where you last saw him.”