Forever a Safe House

Chapter 15

<Johanna's POV>

"So am I supposed to follow you?" Chase asks from behind me as I walk up the stairs with Sam asleep in my arms. I shush him obnoxiously.

"Do whatever the fuck you want as long as you're quiet," I demand in a whisper. I hear him tip toe up the stairs behind me quietly. Chase follows me past all the windows showing the black night and into my bedroom. Carefully I place Sam in his crib and sit on my bed with my hands in my lap. My back aches and in tempted to ask Cato to massage it. He has always been good at that. Sometimes when I was pregnant he would do it.

Chase stands with his arms crossed in the doorway. I roll my eyes. "For fucks sake close the door and come sit next to me," I demand once again in a whisper so my son doesn't wake up. Chase quickly closes the door and comes close to me. He sits down on the mattress and glances at the clock that reads 9:00pm.

"So I don't know how I'm going to get home," Chase brings up. I scoff.

"Well Hills, that isn't my problem," I say. Chase lets out a sigh.

"Okay Mason, then what is your problem?" He asks. I let out another deep breath.

"My back is killing me, I've been celibate since Sam was conceived, money is low, and I smoke," I exclaim tiredly. Chase bits his bottom lip softly. He then raises his eyebrows.

"Well I can help with the back aching thing," Chase suggests. I finally look at him, really look at him. His blue eyes look more navy blue in the dark light. The short blonde hair on his head is tousled and I see the slightest edge of a bruise coming from under his shirt collar. I pull my shirt over my head like its nothing and mumble, "go for it." Chase seems surprised, but quickly jumps on the opportunity. He moves behind me and I can feel his stare in my back. "What?" I ask.

"The scars, on your back," Chase says in a whisper.

"I wasn't abused or anything," I assure him.

"Then what are all of these from?" He asks with his voice shaking. I let out a sigh.

"Pick one and I'll explain," I tell him. Nothing happens for a good ten seconds then Chase slides a rough finger tip along a scar on my shoulder. I shudder at the sudden skin on skin contact. "That one was from playing hockey with Marvel. When he was playing, he slipped a bit and his stick hit the ice to hard. A shard of ice flew up from behind me and cut my shoulder," I explain. Chase picks another scar on my lower back. "We took a trip to an island and I was jumping off a high rock into the water. It was shallower than I thought and when I hit the water I went to deep and a rock cut me," I tell Chase. "You've got one more," I inform the boy. He must be thinking because it takes him awhile to pick a third scar. This one spreads from my left shoulder to my right hip. "A few months back, we got into a car accident, Finnick almost died, Peeta was in critical condition. I flew from the car and I'm not sure exactly what happened, I just know that something got my back while I was shielding Sam from any harm," I explain. For the second time, I show emotion to Chase. I choke on my words as I speak about the car accident. We almost lost Finnick and it was the scariest thing ever since we lost Thresh. Chase places a hand on my back. "I told you that was the last one," I exclaim.

"I know, this is just a supporting hand," Chase tells me in a whisper.

"Johanna," I mutter hesitantly.

"What?" Chase asks confused.

"My name, it's Johanna Mason," I say. I turn around so I am facing Chase.

"Why are you telling me?"

"Didn't you listen to Finnick at all? You can't sleep with me unless you know my name and right now I'm afraid of what I may do," I explain. Chase widens his eyes and I roll mine. I quickly jump behind him. "Your turn," I say, trying to get away from what I just said.

"I- um, I don't really have any," Chase stutters.

"Oh come on I saw the bruise on your shoulder!" I exclaim quiet enough so Sam doesn't wake up.

"Johanna, really I don't think that I should," Chase says effortfully as I tug on the bottom hem of his shirt so I can see his skin.

"Oh come on, you saw my scars I wanna see yours," I tell him in his ear as he faces away from me.

"No Johanna really," Chase begs starting to get a little angry. I roll my eyes and manage to pull his shirt over his head. "Johanna," he says once more as his shirt muffles his voice when I pull it over his face. When I look at his skin I am taken a back. My mouth stays open a bit in surprise. I bring my finger tips to my lips and cover my open mouth. My eyes stick to the sight of his back. "I told you not to." Covering every inch of the skin on his back are pink slashes and the one bruise on his shoulder. His tan skin is swelled up in spots from fresher scars and other scars are old and stretched. He must of gotten them when he was younger and when he grew they pulled.

"Chase I." My voice trails off, unable to continue. My mind drifts to the scar I fused into his arm from the burning tip of my cigarette. How could I be so stupid? Even though I am feeling desperately sorry for this boy I keep up my tough act as much as possible.

"Do you want an explanation?" He asks calmly. I manage to mumble a quiet yes. Chase lets out a long sigh. "My oldest brother is a big horseback rider. He has been since he was able to walk. Sean always had the support of my parents, me, and Nate, the guy you met at the party. So when my mom died when I was ten, Sean was twelve, Nate was eight, Sean went crazy. My mom always supported his horse riding but as he got older he got less and less interested in riding, but since she died he felt that he had to do it to please her even though she was dead. I guess finally when he was fifteen, he just snapped from doing something he hated just for someone who was dead. My dad was always gone a lot on business, it was not his fault, but whenever he was gone and Sean would come home from the stables with his horse gear there would be a whip for the horses in his bag. He would tell Nate and I go lean over the couch or something and he would pull off our shirts and just lash out on us. I don't know why we never told my dad, we still haven't, but Sean did this to us for years. Obviously it didn't stop Nate from being a player and it didn't stop me from living, but obviously there are embarrassing moments like these were people see the scars." Once Chase is finished explaining I'm almost ready to cry. Almost. I place my hand softly on his unbruised shoulder and rub it gently. I place my head next to his neck. As I rest my head on his bare skin I speak to him softly.

"I'm so sorry," I tell him.

"You didn't let me finish," he tells me. What horrors hasn't he finished explaining? "So when my dad got remarried Sean got even more agitated. So on comes an unplanned pregnancy and out comes a little girl named Lucy who is a miracle baby since both her parents are so old and she shouldn't have made it... she has bright red hair and freckles, it's adorable, anyways, when Lucy turned three Sean had finally had enough. He went after Lucy when she was sleeping. Thank got I found her in time. He barely got a chance to lay a hand on her before I rescued her. I told him he can beat me all he wants but if he ever touched Lucy I would turn him into the police, so every once in awhile he will just show up in my room and you know. That was maybe two months ago." Now I start crying silently. I am not very good at handling emotional situations so instead I turn to what I always have. Music. I grasp my phone from my pocket and go to my playlist. Quickly I play Car Radio by Twenty One Pilots and place my phone on the small nightstand. Chase scoffs. "Good song." I move from the nightstand and instead kneel in front of the broken boy. I take his hand and place it on my cheek. He takes over and strokes my face. "You're so beautiful," Chase mutters. I smile weakly.

"Okay," I say sarcastically under my breath. Chase rolls his eyes.

"Johanna you need a real self esteem, not just a phony facade," Chase says as a single tear slides down his cheek.

"You need to stop pretending to know me."

"Then let me really know you."

A/N are you mad that I am focusing on Johanna a lot? It's just I feel like I have been really rejecting her character since Sam was born, I don't know, I'm trying to get Chase more involved. I think next chapter will be more based on Foxface aka Rose as she is named in this story. Hopes this chapter was decent:)