When I wake up... You will be here

Chapter 33

A Little cut

Emma’s P.O.V.

I pass the back of my hand across my eyes, wiping the tears away. I put my bag on the bed. I took what I would need to the ice skating training and push it hard to my bag, letting loose all my helplessness and anger. I felt like a knife was being buried in my heart more and more with each breath.

Why the hell I hadn’t gone the same day as Alina came here crying? Why I so blindly trust Harry? Why am I so stupid? Because I love him. I blindly trusted him because he promised me so many things ... promise that he didn’t kept. Is this always going to be like? This damn circle in which we are okay, then he hurt me, then he apologizes and I fall over again for him like an idiot.

And, just think of moment that happened a few hours ago broke my heart ... It killed me slowly...

I was in the hospital, sitting in the waiting room next to Harry. I held his hand tightly as I could. Breathing hard as I looked how the minutes passed in the clock. My blood was pounding in my temples and ears. I felt my heart beating faster and faster. Harry was quiet ... So quiet that it was scaring me. His eyes staring at our intertwined hands. I stroked his hand, comforting him. I knew Harry was not the father, I felt it in the depths of my being.

I put two fingers on his chin and with a smooth move I forced him to look at my eyes. He looked up to my eyes. I looked at his eyes and saw fear, guilt, sadness, uncertainty, helplessness... I stroked his cheek and smiled before giving him a kiss on her forehead. He rested his head on my shoulder.

The doctor came out and handed Harry a white envelope. I did not want Harry to open the envelope. I did not want to be hurt anymore. I did not want know what the paper said. I did not want anything in my life to change. I did not want Alina to come between Harry and me. Please...

But it was too late, Harry had opened the envelope and his eyes moved from side to side on paper.

“Paternity Test ... Harry Styles ... Alina Star ... positive”

That simple word had destroyed me. I would hate that word for the rest of my life. That word meant all Harry promises broken. All my hopes damaged. My dreams of me and him destroyed. All those times he had promised not to hurt me, no change me, always be here next to me ... Where were those promises? Surely in the deep of the abysm, with my broken heart.

I pulled out my closet my skates with hard move. The sadness and anger consumed me and I could not think straight. I felt like my wrist was burning. I looked down and saw blood gushing from my wrist ... And it did not hurt. The pain in my chest was forgotten, neutralized. Why I don’t feel anything?

I backed until my back slammed into the wall. The drops of blood were falling slowly, bumping against the cold floor. I slide down the wall until I reached the floor. The drops kept coming and the pain did not appear. Why I don’t feel the pain?

Slowly everything around me became a blur. I leaned my head against the wall, trying to make sickness leave. I closed my eyes tightly trying to control what I was feeling. Everything became more and more blurred. I looked like the scarlet red blood stain grew on the floor. I was too tired to get up.

“I love you Harry.” I whispered.

Darkness surrounded me and I could not keep my eyes open.

Harry’s P.O.V.

I put the key in the keyhole and walked into apartment. Everything was completely silent. Surely Emma was gone. I sighed and leave the envelope on the table. I pass a hand through my hair. I don’t know what to do. This ... This was too much for me. I could not with all this ... I know nothing of this.

What if Emma would never return? What if she found someone else? What if she forgets me? What if she ... She didn’t love me anymore? ... I shook my head those thoughts out a way of my head. I climbed up the stairs, not reluctantly. I just wanted to go to bed and wake up in a place where this is not happening. Like when I dreamed with Emma.

I walked into the room. All my body froze. There was blood on the floor, lots of blood. The skates were lying on the floor, covered with blood ... And Emma on the floor bleeding. I kneel beside her. I held her in my arms. I took off my shirt and wrapped it around Emma’s wrist, trying to stop the bleeding.

“Emma… Emma, babe, wake up.”

She did not react. I moved her, but she didn’t wake.

“Em…” My voice broke.

Take my phone out of my pocket and call an ambulance. My voice came out very hoarse and broken. I was holding Emma tightly. I put my hand on her wrist and squeezed it, trying to stop the bleeding. Tears clouded my view. Her pulse was weak and her breathing almost null. The tears started coming out of my eyes, but I didn’t bother trying to stop them.

“Don’t leave me… wake up…”

Emma's eyes were closed. The intravenous under her pale skin. The "beep-beep" of machines tormented me. Her eyes had dark shadows under her eyelids and her lips had no color. I had her hand in mine, trying to give warmth to her cold skin. I rested my head on the bed. Tears came out of my eyes and a sob escaped from my lips.

“Em ... Emma, forgive me. For everything. Because I hurt you. Because I broke my promise ... Please don’t go.”

The doctor entered the room. He began to check Emma while I was staring at him. He wrote a couple of things and then left the room. Without notice me. And so I felt, insignificant and invisible.

I stood next to Emma all the day but, when Derek and Richard came, they glared at me and I just stay away from Emma and went to sit to the other side of the room. They sat next to Emma. They spoke so low I couldn’t hear them. I crossed my arms over my chest, I sank into the chair and closed my eyes, letting sleep overcame me.

I woke up suddenly. Emma was still unconscious in the hospital bed. I stretch. All my body was aching. Sleeping in a chair was the most uncomfortable and painful thing. The smell of medicine made ​​me wrinkle nose. I sighed and went to sit next to Emma. I took her hand in mine and rub it to give her warmth. I kissed her hand.

“You have to wake up beautiful, for me. I don’t know what I’m going to do if you go away… I… I don’t know.”

The door opened slowly and a pair of blue eyes peered. Louis entered and closed the door behind him. He walked towards me. I suppressed my desire to cry.

“Hi.” He mumbled.

“Hi.” I responded him. He sat next to me and put his hand don my shoulder.

“How’s she?” He asked looking at her.

“Bad… I just want her to wake up.” I whispered.

“C’mon Harry, don’t be like this. She will be okay.”

“I feel like the worst person in the world.”

“You aren’t…”

“The paternity test went positive.” I interrupted him.

“Oh…” Louis stayed quiet for a long time.

“Do you know? I was hoping that he was not mine ... I'm not ready for this.”

“Keep calm… You will have time to think about all this. Are you hungry?” He changed the topic.

Emma was so worried that I hadn’t realized that I was hungry and sleepy, very sleepy. My legs and shoulders hurt for not having moved for hours. I looked at Louis and nodded. He smiled and stood up.

“C’mon. Walking will be good for you.” He said opening the door.

I didn’t want to leave Emma. I looked at her. Her pale skin, her hair on the pillow, her pale lips, her delicate skin ... She seemed asleep, in deep sleep. I looked at Louis and realized that he wanted to leave.

“Let’s go, she will be ok.”

I sketched half smile, kissed Emma’s forehead and left the room with Louis, closing the door behind me.