Finding love is harder than i thought (girlxgirl)

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Mali's Pov

I woke up right as we were pulling into a gas station. I felt Melody shift next to me as she pulled her body closer to me as she slept.

Im a horrible girlfriend. How can i be thinking that i might possibly still love my bestfriend when i have such an amazing girl right now with me who loves me and will never hurt me.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my arms and held her tightly, she pressed her head against my chest listening to the rythm of my heart beat, each beat my heart makes is for her. I rested my head on the top of hers and waited until we were on the road again.

I tryed to go back to sleep i really did but honestly i couldnt. I had way to many things on my mind right now and i cant believe alot of them are focused on Ziva. Im so fucking pathetic.

Why am i doing this to myself, why cant i just force Ziva out of my mind for once in my fucking life i mean seriouly. I wanted to shut her out i wanted to but for some reason she was still in my heart and mind at all times, but why?

I guess it could be because i guess she was my first love but all in all she hurt me more than i could remember but i was always forgiving her i guess im the blame for that.

I glance down at the gorgeous creature sleeping on my chest. I cant believe shes mine, and i cant believe out of everyone she chose me.

I love her, I really do i love Melody with all my heart more than i ever loved Ziva. melody doesnt hurt me she cares about me loves me back the way i want her to, shes everything ive ever wanted and ever dreamed of having.

So why cant i get Ziva out of my head?

I sighed and looked out the window gazing at my surroundings watching the thick trees pass me by.

I dont know the exact moment but i remember looking down at my arms, i do this quite often and remember the time i almost died. Sometimes i wish i did die in that bath tub itd make my life so much easier and less painful, but for some reason i lived.

Melody doesnt know that part. I dont want her to know but the thing is i have cuts all over my arms and my stomach. So how could she possibly not notice in Virginia? I dont know im afraid about what will happen when she does see, when she does find out.

Will she leave me and think of me as a freak, a suicidal freak. Or will she accept me and all of my flaws. I dont want her to leave me i wouldnt be able to live past it, ive had too much shit happen to me in my life that i cant deal with another things i dont think id survive.

Ugh are we almost there im tired of sitting in this damn cramped car.

"Izzy are we almost there?" i asked startling her

"hell no we wont be there for awhile, go back to sleep itll go faster" she replyed

Ugh fuck great just freaking great i cant sleep and i have to stay in this damn car for god knows how long.

I let out a long big sigh.

Zivas Pov

I wish Mali still loved me and not that, that girl Melody. i know i treated her like shit before but ugh cant she forgive me already im still inlove with her doesnt she care about how i feel doesnt she understand.

Why can Melody go away, why did Melody have to come and ruin everything for me ugh fuck.

Yeah i know i have Dezi and i like her alot i just dont love her like i love Mali. Dammit why cant i be happy but no Mali has to stop loving me just because i was stupid, cant she forgive and forget of course not, oh no not her.

I admit i was wrong i admit what i did hurt her but, but i deserve to be happy and be in love too right or is that just some stupid fairy tail deal.

Melody i wish you would go away.

Then i got an idea.

What if, what if i make Melody believe Mali doesnt love her anymore and make her leave us so we can be happy together again.

YEAH! Thats it, Melody is the problem and to fix the problem is to get rid of it then we can be a big happy family again.

I smiled knowing this plan wont fail like the past others.

i know it will work i know it will.

Malis Pov

You know the more i keep thinking about Ziva the less and less i beggin to like her even as a friend. I mean honestly what has she always done to me?

Shes always hurt me, always no matter if she meant to or not she always hurt me thats all shes ever done. Even when we werent dating, even when we were younger even then.

After realizing this small yet big fact i realized somthing. I never loved Ziva i only thought i did because she made me believe it. The only person i have loved and ever have loved is Melody. And i will always love melody forever and always until the day i die i will never let her go ,,,, EVER!.

-authors note-

HELLO MY AWESOME FANS!!!! well for those who actually stuck around and waited patiently for me i thank you sooo much and i love you all XD it means soo much to me i have been having a hard time lately and i just dont have the time to upload any of my stories so be patient with me ill get around to it even if im writing bits an pieces at a time ill get there lol

well i know its not much but i hope you enjoyed it anyway ill try to write sooner and more but no promises seriously XP

Well XD PEACE XD