1995
It was still snowing outside. The roads were getting pretty bad. Cas started to fear for his mom. Dean noticed Cas rubbing his hands against his pants and looking around nervously. Dean wrapped his arm around his shoulders
"Hey Cas, Its fine, everything's going to be just fine."
Dean forced a dry smile trying to comfort Cas.
"She means so much to me, Dean, I don't want to lose her."
Dean kissed his forehead
"Maybe you should call her."
Cas nodded. He reached over to his nightstand and dialed his mom's work number.
Riiing riiing riiing riiing
It stopped ringing and the bar managers voice cut through the line.
Sorry, JJ's Bar can not get to the phone right now, please leave a message and call back later.
Cas hung up the phone and sighed, leaning his head on Deans chest.
"How about we watch some TV? That'll get your mind off of it!"
Cas sighed but reached for the remote and turned on the Television. The screen went black and white and let out a screech. Shit, the blizzard cut out the TV.
"Damn it. I'm sorry Cas."
Cas looked up at Dean
"Why are you so nice to me?"
Dean looked down at Cas
"Why wouldn't I? I love you."
Cas smiled. The lights started flickering. After a few flickers, they went out. It was pitch black.
Fuck......
Cas sighed.
"You wanna just talk, Cas?"
Cas nodded against Deans chest.
"Ok, Dean, what are your dreams?"
"Awe, you wanna be all sappy like girls at sleepovers?" Ha-ha, ok."
Cas pinched Deans arm softly.
"The truth is, Cas, I wanna be a mechanic, open up my own shop, start a family and grow old."
"Start a family?"
"Well sure! Who doesn't!!"
"Dean, it isn't the same when you're gay. You know that."
Dean sighed.
"I just wish it wasn't that way. I wish nobody hated or discriminated people for who they love or what they want. It should be normal and accepted. Love is fucking love and everybody should know that."
"Dean, that's not how society works. It sucks, I know, but things will work out, I just know it."
Dean grunted
"Well, fuck society."
Cas chuckled.
"I agree."
Both laughed. Cas scooted up on Dean and kissed his lips. Same, so soft and warm. Dean held Cas' back comfortingly.
"See, I told you I could take your mind off of it!"
"You did Dean. Thanks"
Dean grinned and kissed Cas.
• • •
An hour passed of them kissing and talking when the phone gave a sharp ring. Cas immediately picked up the phone and sat up on Dean. It was the bars manager.
"Um, this is Jeremy, JJ's bar manager. Are you mister Castiel Novak?"
"Yes sir, this is him."
The man on the other line hesitated and sighed.
"I'm sorry but J have terrible news, your mother, Jody, has gotten in a terrible car crash driving home on the interstate. She's in the Saint Gabriel's Hospital. It's pretty bad."
Cas stopped breathing unknowingly. He stared blankly at nothing. All he did was hang up the phone. Dean said softly
"Hey Cas? Is everything alright?"
Cas stopped and started sobbing in Deans chest. He couldn't stop. Tears were streaming down his face uncontrollably. He was shaking and gripping Deans shirt. Cas shook his head, trying to wake from this dream, trying to get grip of reality again. Cas then realised that he was fully awake and in reality. It was all happening. Dean grabbed Cas' back and rubbed it soothing and rhythmically.
"Shhh. Baby, don't cry."
Cas suddenly stopped and looked up at Dean. Dean tried to smile for Cas, to reassure him. Cas cleared his throat
"Dean."
"Hm?"
Cas sniffled
"M-My mom got in a bad car crash. She's in the hospital and and she's not doing too good. It's bad, its bad Dean."
He started crying again. Dean took the back of Cas' head and rubbed his back the other.
"Oh God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I wish this didn't happen. We should go now."
Cas nodded. Dean wiped Cas' cheeks from tears. Cas got up and threw on his coat. Dean followed with his leather jacket.
"I'll drive baby."
Cas shrugged and grabbed his keys. They flew upstairs and locked the house door after themselves. It was frigid and they were shivering. The car sputtered alive and the heat blasted through the vents. It heated up a little in the car. Cas wrapped his arms around his body. Dean placed his hand gently on Cas' knee. He smiled at Cas and they drove off. The windshield wipers were at full speed. Dean concentrated on the road but tended to Cas. He was crying and sniffling. It was hard for Dean to watch him. After a few breath stopping events, they finally made it to the hospital in one piece. Dean held Cas' hand and led him to the front desk. A woman with hair pulled back in a pink outfit smiled
"Hello, mam, we're here for Ms. Jody Novak. This is her son, Cas."
He put on a fake smile. The lady nodded.
"Ok, follow me."
She started walking down the hall. They followed her down. She stopped at a door, opened it for them and closed it behind the boys once they were inside. Cas let go of Deans hand and ran to his mother's bedside. He sniffed back a cry. His mom looked up and smiled at Cas. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Ms. Jody Novak was beautiful, her hair night black, shoulder length, pale skin and eyes like the Sea. Cas spoke up
"Mom, I'm sorry, I love you so much."
She coughed
"Honey....don't......apologize, I love....you....too. It's....nobody's...fault."
There were tubes connecting to her and a machines beeping all around the bed. His mom suddenly started staring behind Cas. Dean looked down and blushed red.
"Darling... Who's... That?"
Cas looked behind his back, he almost forgot about Dean.
"Oh, that's Dean, my boyfriend mom."
She stopped and breathed out a happy sigh.
"Oh... That's.... Beautiful.... Sweety."
Dean smiled to his ears. She started coughing and Cas leaned in closer to her.
"Mom..mom, are you ok?!"
Her eyes were half way closed and she was breathing hard. The machines started beeping like crazy
"No no no, mom, mom, stay with me."
Tears started streaming down Cas' cheeks. The machines continued beeping wildly. Jody started grabbing frantically at Cas. She suddenly stopped and the machine let out a long ring. Cas sobbed and his knees fell from below him. Doctors came rushing in and pushed Cas aside.
Dean fell to Cas' side and held his head to his chest. Cas sobbed and shook. His face red and wet.
"No, no no no no, this can't be happening, its not real, its not real!"
He covered his ears and closed his eyes tightly shut. Cas started screaming at the top of his lungs
"NO NO NO!! WAKE UP! ITS NOT REAL!! ITS ALL JUST A DREAM!"
Dean held Cas tighter and kissed his head.
"Shhhh baby, I'm so sorry, I'm so fuckin' sorry. I wish it wasn't real."
Cas quieted down to a whimper. The doctor tapped on Deans shoulder and he stood up leaving Cas sobbing on the floor. He held his face in his hands. The doctor led Dean out of the room.
"Sir, I'm sorry, she's gone. Her lungs collapsed. The crash impacted her chest extremely bad. I'm terribly sorry."
Dean dropped his head.
"If you need anything, just ask."
He walked away, down the hall, somewhere. Dean shuffled back into the room. Cas was still lying on the floor sobbing. Dean sat next to him and held Cas close. Cas fell into Dean. He stopped crying and stood up. He walked over to his mom's bed. The sheets were pulled up to her chin. Cas was happy that her eyes were closed. He didn't want to see them open. Cas gripped her hand. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. Cas whispered to her
"I love you mom, thank you for everything. I'll see you soon."
He kissed her one last time and turned back to Dean. He grabbed his hand.
"Ok, Dean, lets go."
Dean looked at Cas in confusion.
"Are you sure, Cas?"
He nodded. They started walking out the door. Cas looked back at his mom and tears streamed down his face. They reached the reception desk. The lady smiled and waved bye to them. Dean smiled back and they got outside. It was still snowing horribly. Cas' face was red and wet. When they got into the car, Dean leaned over, kissed Cas' cheek and wiped a tear from his face.
"Oh Cas, I'm so sorry, I really am. Baby, I wish this didn't happen."
Cas kissed Deans lips and croaked
"It's okay Dean. It's not your fault."
Dean started the engine and it sputtered to life. The drive home was quiet. Not a word was said. They pulled into the driveway. Inside, Cas fell onto the couch, crying.
"Dean, I miss her so much, I love her so much, I hope she knew that. I miss her. What am I going to do now?"
Dean sat next to Cas' legs and soothed his back.
"She knew it Cas. Don't worry. I'm going to solve all of this. You won't have to worry about anything."
Dean lyed against the couch with his legs open. Cas sat up and lyed between Deans legs against him. Dean wrapped his arms over Cas' chest. Tears fell down his face. Dean wiped them away for Cas.
"I'm done Dean. I'm done."
