The Island (girlxgirl)

Chapter 17

A figure approached me as I stood in the arena. Her hair was long brown hair tied back in a braid. She was not supposed to be here, in my moment of sorrow. She was not supposed to be anywhere near me.

"Stay away, Faun." I hissed her name out.

Faun unraveled a royal proclamation scroll. I hesitantly took it, then read what it said.

"LET IT BE KNOWN that Faun is excused from her restraining order in order to teach Pet squire duties.

Sincerely, Hachi Iota"

I glared at Faun. "I guess I have no choice in the matter."

"An extra price is paid by the second-place jouster in honor of the Champion." Faun smirked.

I stood my ground verbally but walked with Faun. "I wouldn't smile like that. You've lost to the current Champion too."

"Ah, but by next tournament, I will be back in the arena, jousting it out. You, my friend, will be scouring bloodied golden armor and watching me kick the Champion's ass." Faun bragged.

I spat, "I'm not your friend."

"You could be." Faun grinned.

I thundered, "Hell no."

"Think about it. I have powerful friends. Not just the other Favored, you know. Maybe you've heard of them: the Larceny Guild. I know you like people with connections. I've got connections. Something could be arranged..." Faun's eyes grew a gleam.

I interrupted her spiel, "I swear on the ocean, moon, sun, anything and everything, that I would rather not know you. I don't want any part of you, I don't want to be here, but I will follow Hachi's orders without hesitation. Leave me alone."

"Pet, my dear, you are never alone." Faun just about made an evil laugh.

I scowled. "Don't patronize me. We have no affiliation."

"Do you know why Hachi wanted me to be her maid?" Faun brought up a new topic.

I decided to humor her. "No. Go ahead and tell me."

"There's the Pet I know. Hachi knew, and she even told me this, that I was destined to do great things." Faun was bragging again, but this was even less believable than the first lie.

I was rather sick of Faun already, so I snarked, "Now cross out 'great' and add 'shitty and psychotic.'"

"Everyone that has been Hachi's maid is going to do great things. I will, you will, even Pinky, as much as I despise her, will." Faun seemed to believe herself.

I didn't believe this. "The only person who said I was going to do anything extraordinary was Prince Cain, who is above all creepy, and as insane as you are. No, I don't buy what you're selling."

"Cain knows things. You should hear him out." Faun shrugged.

I half-growled, "That man is in no way trustworthy."

"I didn't say hang on his every word. Just...break his quips down and see if you find anything that could be real." Faun advised.

I made a face. "Right."

"Did you know Pinky and Cain were together before?" Faun threw another curveball.

I'd stopped believing anything she said. "Wipe your mouth, I can see the bullshit leaking out."

"No really, Pet. They were engaged once." Faun smirked.

I sighed in exasperation. "Pinky is a lesbian. There is no way on the island that she would marry a guy."

We entered a very fancy, very private stable that was just outside the ring of stables that had been for all the competing maids. It had room for five horses to be stabled, although only Sapphire was right now. There was a hot tub, furniture that must have been retrieved from the outside world ships crashing into our island, surrounded by plush and leather couches to my right, and to my left was a small library filled to the ceiling with books. Straight down the hallway, past the horse stables, there were many more doors. The Champion gets all this to herself? Wow.

Pinky came out of one of those doors at the end of the hall. She was wearing her golden armor, minus her helmet, and looked exhausted. Sweat streaked her hair and dripped down her neck.

Pinky noted my presence. "Excellent, you brought the newbie here. Squire, get this armor off me."

Faun lowered her head and set to work. There would be no more time to argue now. I watched closely as Faun unhooked the special clasps and helped Pinky step out of her long metal boots. Underneath, Pinky had on chain-mail armor. Pinky held up her hair and Faun lifted the chain-mail away. It all looked incredibly heavy. I realized I was still wearing my blue armor. I tried to take it off, but I just couldn't reach those clasps on the farthest part of my back.

"Squire, take off Pet's armor for her." Pinky ordered after her own armor was off.

Faun spun me around, undid the clasps, and stripped the armor off me in the blink of an eye.

Pinky smiled. "Thank you, Squire. You are dismissed from your duties and may pass your role unto Pet."

Faun took off her armor, dumped it in my hands, and left as quickly as possible out the door. Pinky laughed and wiped her sweaty hair out of her face.

"Normally, the previous squire initiates the next squire, gives her some hint as what is expected of the role, but Faun is too impatient for that. I suppose I'll have to teach you what to do." Pinky bent down on her knees and helped me put on the squire's light armor, knowing I was too helpless to do it myself.

I said, "Just obey you, right?"

"Yes, well...there are other duties. For example, you will be sitting on my left side at the grand feast tonight that honors my victory. Hachi will be sitting on my right. If you start feeling agitated and want to leave, you can't, but don't worry, I'll make sure you have plenty of eggs all to yourself." Pinky made me smile.

I asked, "How long do we have until this grand feast?"

"We have around three hours. I will be taking a bath, which you will draw for me, then as I'm bathing, you will muck Sapphire's stable, polish my armor, and then return to my side for further instruction." Pinky ushered me to the bathroom.

The bathroom was just as grand as Hachi's. The walls were made of white marble, the faucets were leafed in gold, and there were paintings of jousters competing. There was a circular bathtub large enough to fit five people in the center of the room.

I followed Pinky's orders and drew the bath. The water that came from the tap was cold the entire time, so I had to use magic to warm up the bath water.

I muttered as my ring glowed white, "TotHub."

The water went from cold to the temperature of a hot spring. I found the bottles of soap, satchels of herbs, and bags of salts in the floor cabinet against the wall.

"Bubbles, herbs, or bath salt?" I asked Pinky.

Pinky indicated, "Add herbs, none of the others. Use chamomile."

I set the herb bags into the bathwater according to Pinky's instructions.

"Now put in lavender."

Lavender added.

"Add rosemary."

Rosemary added.

"Is there any calendula?"

"What is that?" I stopped adding herbs.

Pinky reached over me into the drawers. I could feel her soft breath tickle my neck and my mind emptied of everything else. Her pink streaked blond hair tickled my nose and I lost myself thinking about how lovely her hair was.

Pinky's voice brought me back to reality. "It's this one. Funny, it seems like no one else has used calendula in a while. It's excellent for healing wounds, as long as the water is hot enough. Considering the princes come in and use this stable all the time when they joust against each other, I would have thought they would use up all the stuff."

Satchels filled with dried flowers that reminded me of marigolds seemed to be this "calendula."

I tossed in about half the calendula bags, a generous amount. Pinky and I sniffed the bath at the same time. The fruity scent of chamomile mixed well with the lavender support scent and floral pungency of calendula. The rosemary just made it even better.

"Excellent. Faun had no patience for this art, but I can remember back to watching Hachi blend herbs for me, and how natural it seemed for her. Maybe it's a magician's thing, being able to create perfect herbal concoctions. You should ask Hachi for lessons if she has the time, but Butterfly or Lorne should be able to teach you if you would prefer being tutored under one of them." Pinky had a strange glint in her eye.

I rubbed Pinky's back. "Is something wrong?"

"It's nothing. I just had a thought about what might have been, which is useless. Go clean my horse's stable." Pinky ordered.

Pinky stripped her clothes off and climbed into the bath. I turned and left. Outside, opposite the tack room was a room full of cleaning supplies. I grabbed the shovel and headed for Sapphire. Sapphire whinnied, but I led her out to a pasture, locked the gate, and came back in to clean her stall.

I took one whiff of the stall Sapphire had been in and just about fell over. Good grief, the horse has the poop of an elephant! It's large, smelly, and not the colors it should be.

I knew where the horse poop furnace was, all I had to do was smell for it. It took fifty-three shovelfuls carried back and forth from stall to furnace, then back to the stall, in order to just get rid of Sapphire's crap. I have a new respect for the maids who care for Hachi's horses instead of doing chores inside the castle or loafing.

The clouds had cleared and the sun was back in blazing force. There was no wind, so not only did the stench of horse crass sit around, I got sweaty and tired fast. I poured out what was left of Sapphire's water, added fresh water from the hose, and was tempted to dunk my own head in, maybe even drink from the stuff. I resisted the urge. I swept out the old hay, all of it had been scattered on the floor of the stall, and shoveled it bit by bit into the poop furnace. I found a good sized hay bale for Sapphire down the hallway from the tack room, but when I lifted it from the stack, the heaviness surprised me, and I dropped it on myself. I crawled out from under the bale, all scratched up, but not going to be bruised in the morning. Well, I at least won't be heavily bruised.

I sat on the bale and thought. I wasn't going to be able to haul the bale in one piece to the stall, since I wasn't strong enough, but this was about the size that Sapphire would need to eat. Maybe I could cut it up? I could cut it up! But, I don't have anything to cut it with. Unless, I could call my sword to me...but I don't know how. The one time I called it to me, I was panicked and needed to save Pinky.

My ring turned white. What could the spell be? Uh...?

"SomeCword."

Sometimes, I feel like a voice is whispering the spells to me, but this "voice" feels like such a part of me that I forget it's not really part of my own consciousness. I think it's the ring interacting with me, but I'm not totally sure.

My family sword appeared in my hand. It was a beautiful weapon, one that had to have been made by a very talented blacksmith.

I took the sword and used it as an irregularly shaped knife. It cleaved the hay not very well, but went through anyways with some effort. I made the original bale into five smaller chunks and carried each chunk to the stall, one at a time. Sapphire nickered as she watched me prepare her compartment. I noticed a bowl of apples sitting on a couch, so I took the ripest one out, and fed it to Sapphire, who nuzzled me through her waiting room. Once she was finished eating, I led her back into her stall, and went back to the bathroom.

I called out, "Hey, I finished!"

"Are you sure about that?" Pinky popped out from behind me.

I jumped and took a good look at her. She was wrapped in a comfortable-looking white bathrobe. Her hair was wrapped tightly in a thick light pink towel.

I nervously smiled. "Well...yeah."

"Come see this then." Pinky snapped her fingers and I came, with some pause at the finger snapping.

Pinky and I gazed through the beams at Sapphire. Sapphire flickered her tail at some flies and looked right back at us.

I questioned gently, "Is...something wrong with this pristine picture? It looks perfect to me."

"Tell me, Squire, what is the fresh brown stain on the edge of the water line in Sapphire's drinking trough from?" Pinky was building up a head of steam, I could tell already.

I squinted my eyes. "Is that...uh oh."

I must have accidentally let the elephant's droppings fall off my shovel where it really shouldn't.

"How the hell would you like to drink out of water full of your own shit?" Pinky screamed so loudly her face turned bright red.

I put my hands up defensively. "I can fix this, if it's the only thing wrong, I don't see what the big deal is..."

"Why is there no straw on the stone floor of this stall?" Pinky was about to snap again.

I tried to ease my collar, but considering it was metal, it just irritated the skin on my neck even more. "Well, it was getting moldy, and..."

"Why didn't you replace it with fresh hay then?" Pinky interjected.

I sighed. "I didn't know to."

"Would you like walking barefoot on a rough stone floor? No! Why can't you do anything right?" Pinky complained vociferously.

I was sick and tired of this Champion-Squire arrangement. "Excuse me, but I didn't grow up with a stable full of horses, Cynthia Kennedy, oh Mighty and Wealthy Forest Queen. I lived on the coast and worked a garden plot. Explain how I'm supposed to know automatically how to care for a horse when I'm used to plants."

"Just fix this mess." Pinky shoved past me and stormed back into the bathroom.

I didn't bother to put Sapphire in a different stall; I just cleaned around her since the stall was large enough. I dragged the trough out, poured all the soiled water out on the ground outside the stall, and started scrubbing the thing clean with soap. After I sprayed off the suds with the hose again, I found a new trough in the tack room, put that in the stall, and filled it with fresh water. I culled a bale to clumps of hay and spread those on the stall's stone floor. I was so concentrated on this job that I put my foot a little too close to Sapphire's foot, and Sapphire stepped on me.

I screamed in pain. Sapphire munched on some fresh hay and ignored me, even putting more weight on that foot. I tried pulling my foot out from under Sapphire, but I was good and stuck. Horses are heavy and I'm too weak to get out from under her, so I would possibly get this foot broken before Sapphire decided to move.

Pinky came running. "What's wrong, Squire?"

"Sapphire...won't get off me." I mumbled through tears.

Pinky came in the stall and grabbed the offending leg of her horse. "Bad Sapphire! You shouldn't go around stepping on poor Pet's feet, she's tiny, and you're a fat ass."

Sapphire snorted as if she understood her. Pinky lifted Sapphire's leg off of my foot and I moved outside the stall for safety. Pinky closed the stall door and I looked away from her, ashamed that I needed her help again.

"Did you try to pull away from under her? Don't do that, just lift the horse's leg, otherwise you might break your foot. It might be broken now, let me check." Pinky had me sit down on one of the couches and poked around.

Pinky shook her head. "It's not broken, but it'll turn a nice shade of bruise-purple in the morning. Be careful with it until it heals, okay?"

"Yeah. Thank you, Champion." I still smarted from getting scolded earlier.

Pinky smiled a little. "You did a good job on the stall the second time around."

"Thanks." I was curt.

Pinky offered her hand. "Come with me. Forget about the armor polishing for now."

Pinky led me to the bathroom. She helped me take off my armor and clothes, then removed her bathrobe. We entered the tub together and I immediately threw my head back in relaxation.

"It's the herbs. They always make me feel better, anyways." Pinky said.

I chuckled. "I agree, it's the same with me."

Pinky curled her right arm around me and held our bodies together, side-by-side. She took the towel off her head and her blond-pink hair fell out in a cascade down her shoulders. I took an strand and affectionately twisted it between my fingers.

"I shouldn't have yelled earlier. I just take being a Champion seriously. With Faun, she knows about how to be Champion and be Squire, so we worked pretty well together, minus the old spat we've got. The Squire is supposed to take care of all the menial duties for the Champion, but in return, the Champion teaches the Squire about how to joust better." Pinky explained.

I frowned. "It feels more like being a servant to me. I'm willing to be Hachi's servant, but not yours. A servant of a servant just feels too complicated."

"Being a Squire is supposed to be a honor. It's not as great of a honor as being Champion, but it offers private lessons with the Champion, which are very valuable. I don't give away my secrets to just anyone." Pinky elbowed me.

I couldn't help but smile. Pinky was good at cheering me up.

I pushed away an herb satchel that had come floating towards me. "I think I understand now."

"I'm really sorry I was mean to you." Pinky stroked my hair.

I found her hand under the water and held it. "I forgive you."

Pinky gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. I deepened it and Pinky tightened her arms around me. I rubbed my hands down her back, feeling the slick, silky, perfect skin. Pinky's touch was everywhere: my neck, my shoulders, my waist. I felt her creep up my thigh.

I pulled away from her searing kiss.

"I can't do this. You and I want such different things. We can't keep having these encounters." I pushed her arms away from me.

Pinky argued, "Then, why does it feel so right when you're in my arms?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Denial wasn't a pretty thing, even when I used it.

Pinky knew this. "I think you do, Pet."

"No, Pinky! I'm not supposed to be with you. I'm supposed to be with H..." My voice caught on her name.

Pinky interrupted, "Hachi? That's what every girl thinks when she first comes here. Then, they learn the truth. Hachi's for no one. If you're looking for monogamy, you're better off leaving the castle. The only relationships here are open ones, like Todd and Lorne's."

"That can be changed." I declared.

Pinky glared at me. "The last catalyst for that reaction was practically crucified for that crime."

"I don't follow you, Pinky." The words Pinky could use sometimes were beyond me.

Pinky sighed. "You don't have to. Just heed my warning."

"No. I can do whatever I want to and anyone who gets in my way will fall by the wayside." I announced.

Pinky scoffed. "You're not invincible, Pet."

"I don't have to be. I just have to be close to that." I shrugged as if being nearly invincible was no big deal.

Pinky angrily shouted, "You're a prideful, arrogant fool."

"And yet, I'll get what I want." I was so done with this line of talk.

Pinky didn't want to be though. "Will you really? Or will you just want something else?"

"We'll see. This conversation is over." I stood up in the bath and reached for a towel.

I got out of the tub, toweled myself off, slipped on some clothes, and flipped my armor on as best as possible. I headed for the door.

Pinky called out to me, "Where are you going?"

"To polish your armor, Pinky. We have a feast to get to later, remember?" I found the tack room and steeled myself for the elbow grease I was going to need.

A few hours later, I was done polishing the armor. Gone was the blood, sweat, and dirt. The golden armor was shiny enough to eat on and in. Pinky came out of the bathroom clothed this time. Her hair was dry and her face was so clean she had a glow to her.

"Nice job."
"Ready, Champion?"
"Yes, Squire."

We left the stables and went into the castle. Maids were hurrying around, finding their best dress for this meal. Pinky stopped me for a second, fixed one of my clasps, and then we continued on our way. The other servants, even though they were all clearly busy, they would stop and bow to us as we walked. Pinky would nod and smile. I wasn't used to the attention, and didn't know how to deal with it, so I tried to ignore it.

The feast in honor of the Champion was held in the same royal dining hall used for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The table for the royal family had been moved off-center to accommodate a new, smaller table. The head of the royal table, where the king and queen would sit, would face the head of the smaller table.

Pinky whispered to me, "The seat at the head of table is for me. The seat on my left is for you and the seat to my right is Hachi's. On your left will be Faun, on Hachi's right will be Butterfly. On Faun's left will be Ryder, and on Butterfly's right will be Todd."

"What an awkward table." I couldn't help but make a face of unbelief.

Pinky chuckled under her breath. "Just stuff your face with eggs, that should get you through it."

"Why must you insist on making fun of my adoration of the delicious food eggs?" I gave Pinky a look.

She smiled. "Everyone here can tell you can't get enough of eggs. You voraciously gobble down majority of the table's serving of the cholesterol-filled good source of protein at every meal."

"Okay, what's your favorite food?" I challenged.

Pinky smirked and leaned her head in to directly whisper in my ear, "Pussy."

My face blushed red. Pinky made an audible laugh that got us a few looks.

"I'm kidding. Pussy is Hachi's favorite food. My favorite food is the tomato. Do you know why, Pet?" Pinky kept right on smiling deviously.

I was oblivious. "No...?"

"It's because they look like a twin set of mammalian glands. I especially enjoy twisting the little stem nubs off." Pinky made a gesture that was in this context obscene.

I flushed harder. I've definitely had my fill of innuendo for the night.

"Kidding, kidding!" Pinky chuckled quietly.

I shook my head knowingly. "Okay, for real this time: what is your favorite food?"

"That's for me to know and you to stew over." Pinky winked again and I groaned at her little play with words.

We sat down at the new table, I at Pinky's left. Hachi soon entered, followed by an entourage of admirers, and sat at Pinky's right, which scattered the group away to the other tables set out for maids.

Hachi winked at both of us. "I hope there wasn't any impropriety going on in the Champion's stable. I just had the bathroom power washed a few days ago."

"And you'll have to have it power washed again." Pinky received a punch to the arm, thanks to me. "Don't worry, Hachi. Pet's the same old Pet again, never letting anyone get very far with her."

"When do you want to have our date?" Hachi gave this sweet smile at Pinky that just made me want to tear both of their faces off.

Pinky picked up Hachi's hand and kissed it. "Tomorrow. I want to spend as much time with you as I can, baby."

"Haha, okay. Deal." Hachi gave Pinky a kiss on the cheek.

Pinky is a hypocrite and a liar, considering our talk from earlier about "Hachi's meant for no one," "No one does monogamous relationships," and my favorite, "better off to leave the castle if you're looking for a decent relationship."

"Gross." Faun suddenly appeared in the open seat next to me, making me jump in my chair. "Did you have to invite me to see the Champion-Princess love fest up close?"

"As if I want you here, Faun." Pinky rolled her eyes.

Hachi gave both of them a look. "Don't be nasty to each other. The former Squire is obligated to sit at the table."

"The former Champion is supposed to sit at the table too, but that's also me, the current Champion." Pinky rubbed it right into Faun's skin, and indirectly, mine.

Faun instinctively reached for the knife tucked in the back of her hair, so I tried to defuse this explosive situation. "Hey! So...what's everyone's favorite food?"

"Pussy." Hachi stated as if it was clear as day.

Faun's hand flew back to her side and I breathed a sigh of relief. "Shark."

"Shark...fin?" I guessed.

Shark fin soup was an expensive delicacy that only appeared at every three dinners in the royal dining hall.

Faun shook her head. "No. I like eating the whole shark. It's important to use all of the animal when you kill it. I used to be the CHAMPION shark hunter in my tribe. When they weren't calling me the Alpha Orphan, my tribal name was Teeth of Shark."

Faun displayed a shark tooth necklace that she promptly hid again somewhere inside her clothes.

"My favorite food is a good old banana split." Butterfly hopped right into the seat next to Hachi.

Faun kissed Butterfly over the table. "Good to see you again, girl. Pet and Pinky are around you so frequently I haven't seen you in the last two days."

"It's not like you to miss me very much, honey. You're kinda solitary." Butterfly gave Faun a second kiss.

I cocked my head at Butterfly. "Why do you get to sit at the table?"

"After the Champion, Squire, former Champion, former Squire, and Princess, the Champion gets to invite whoever she wants to her table." Butterfly gave Pet an appreciative kiss to the cheek.

Ryder appeared like a shadow on Faun's left. "And of course, she invited me even though I don't like the attention."

"Favorite food, in order to sit down?" Faun questioned Ryder.

Ryder crisply replied, "If it doesn't have fish on it or near it, I always like it. Fish used to be my favorite when I was younger, but once it's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you get tired of it. My favorite would have to be the white sticky rice I can get down the coast in Ritoruhābā, but merchants always try to sell me sushi with rice."

"What boring foods! Honestly, my favorite food is the hottest pepper on the market. Jalapeños I got over years ago, Cayenne peppers are so two months ago, now my favorite is the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion." Todd bragged as she sat down.

Ryder inched her face away as Todd waved a small red-orange pepper at her. "Wanna try one?"

"I'll try one." I offered.

The rest of the table, excluding Todd, Faun, and me, thundered harmoniously, "NO!"

"Pet, 2.7 pounds of the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion Pepper is enough to kill a person who weighs 150 pounds." Hachi tried to explain.

I smiled innocently, not following her math. "I weigh about a hundred pounds or so; I've been gaining weight steadily since I got here."

"That would mean it would take LESS than 2.7 pounds of this pepper to kill you, since you weigh LESS than 150 pounds." Pinky emphasized.

I looked back over at Todd, who was already on her third pepper. "Todd looks fine and she even says they're her favorite."

"Todd is insane." Butterfly shook her head at me as she fiddled with an ice cream sculpture that had already grown over two feet tall.

Hachi added, "Todd also lacks TRPV1 receptors, so she doesn't feel pepper heat. She says peppers are her favorite food, but that's because she can eat as much as she wants as she's watching someone else rinse their mouth out with dairy products."

"Come on, you know you wanna try one." Todd held out a new Trinidad Moruga Scorpion Pepper for me.

I felt intimidated by the murderous-looking stares coming at me from all directions. "Uh, maybe not, Todd."

"Oh, come on. I dare you, Squire." Todd wiggled that freaking pepper.

I snatched it up. "Fine, I'll do it."

Hachi's, Butterfly's, Ryder's, and Pinky's eyes grew wide as I sank my teeth into this acclaimed pepper.

"It's not too bad. It actually tastes kinda sweet, kinda fruity. Wait. Uh. Uh. AHHH!" I started waving my hands out and trying to cough out the pepper that I had half-swallowed.

Hachi ran over to a servant carrying a dessert tray, grabbed an entire cheesecake, and headed as fast as she could for me. Unfortunately, a maid walking to one of the other tables in the room, went in front of Hachi at the wrong time. Hachi tripped over that maid's foot, the cheesecake flew, and went splat right into my face.

Trumpets announced the king and queen entering the hall, so I was almost glad that this cake is covering my face to hide my embarrassment. Almost, considering a cake to the face IS my embarrassment. Every maid, along with the royal family of all people, had to have seen that pratfall. I'll never live this down.

I licked the cheesecake off of my lips. Surprisingly, it made my mouth feel a little better. The swelling went down and I could swallow small bits of the cake at a time. Within a few minutes, I was back to normal, minus the top half of my tongue that had gotten burnt off by the horribly hot pepper.

I could barely recognize my own voice. "Tahwood?"

"Yes, Squire?" Todd had a mischievous look written all across her face.

"Fluck ooouh."

"Consider it a parting gift from Lorne and I." Todd mock bowed at the table.

If the Flowers want to declare war, so be it. The Favored still like me, right? They'll help me get revenge on the gossip girls, right?

Butterfly finished her enormous ice cream sculpture and showed the table. "Look, guys! I call it 'Victorious Champion of the Jousters!'"

Butterfly had used the ingredients of a banana split to fashion Pinky riding a horse. The "sculpture" was over five feet tall, overflowing the bowl, and even though the detailing was crude, the mere magnanimous use of material was impressive. Pinky, the obvious "Champion" depicted, had a lance that was a banana, her chest was two giant scoops of ice cream with a cherry atop each peak, and the stick figure "horse" was bundles of bananas tied together with whipped cream. Eyes, hair, and mane were created with raisins, nuts, and dessert sauces. I admit, it serves its artistic purposes of being both deliciously edible and deliciously erotic.

"Butterfly, this is why you're a painter and not a sculptor." Faun chuckled at Butterfly's amateur work.

Pinky patted Butterfly on the back. "Don't mind Faun. I think your sculpture is perfect. It does need one thing though..."

"What?" Butterfly had a hint of a smile on her face.

"Spoons."

Pinky handed each Butterfly and Hachi a spoon, keeping one for herself. They dug in and I couldn't help but feel jealous I wasn't allowed to have any.

The rest of the night went on like that, Pinky celebrated, while I was delegated to be her personal servant. Stuffing my face with eggs did NOT make me feel any better. Crowds of maids would follow Pinky, trying to get her to spot them, to talk to them. They were fangirls, that's what they were, and it was annoying me to no end.

Pinky, wearing her golden armor that had been so carefully and contemptfully shined, shook hands with the followers who were growing a bit rowdy. "Girls, girls! There's enough of me to go around, honest!"

"We love you, Champion!" A bold fangirl screamed and the others cooed.

Pinky flashed a grin. "Hey, if you think you love me now, just wait until Karaoke Night at the end of this month. I might even sing a song just for you..."

Pinky pointed at some random girl in the crowd, who fainted out of pure happiness. After that girl fainted, Pinky slowly moved her pointer finger over the crowd and let it settle on me.

"...Squire." Pinky finished.

I scoffed. "I bet I'm a better singer than you, Champion."

"Is that a challenge?" Pinky stepped up the mantle immediately.

I stared her straight in the eye. "It definitely is."

"Good, because I accept, right here and now!" Pinky caught the attention of Hachi.

Hachi looked between us two. "Did I hear myself correctly? Do you two need a judge for a singing competition?"

"Yes! Yes!" The crowd was going ape now.

Hachi laid down the rules. "Your genre of today is...rap. You are each permitted one backup. Singing is limited to one stanza and one repetition of the chorus in your chosen song. As Champion, she will go first."

Hachi deferred to Pinky. Pinky scanned the crowd.

"My backup shall be...Cane." Cane immediately dropped her reporting notepad and saluted Pinky.

Cane chanted, "It is a honor to assist the Champion!"

What a sycophant.

"You owe me a fantastic scoop after this, or I'll have Lorne and Todd wring your neck." Cane muttered quietly to Pinky as they were handed outside world wireless microphones.

Oh, not just a sycophant, but an extortionist. Pinky may not have made the smartest choice of backup singer. Did she just pick randomly?

Pinky cleared her throat. "All right, everyone, I think you might know this song, but I know a slightly different version to it to rap to."

The crowd buzzed with excited murmurs. A few people from the other hallways came to watch once they saw the microphones.

"Hey hey!
You you!
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way no way!
I think you need a new one!
Hey hey! You you!
I could be your girlfriend!" Pinky pointed her free hand to Hachi.

I didn't understand how this song was rap, until I heard Cane lay down the beat. "I could be your girl, Lil Pinky, be your girlfriend."

"Hey hey!
You you!
I know that you like me!
No way no way!
You know it's not a secret!
Hey hey!
You you!
I want to be your girlfriend!" Pinky cast her hand over the crowd, pretending each girl was the one she wanted, which made them go banshee again.

Cane rocked her bright red hair up and down. "I could be your girl, Lil Pinky, be your girlfriend."

"Oh in a second you'll be wrapped around my finger!
'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better!
There's no other,
So when's it gonna sink in?
She's so stupid; what the hell were you thinking?" By the way Pinky's gaze switched between Hachi and me, I knew exactly what Pinky was implying.

And if I thought I was mad before, I was beyond pissed by now.

Pinky bowed, meaning the song was over, and her little fangirls squealed in delight. She may be crowd favorite right now, but she hasn't heard me sing yet. No one has, but I know that I'm ready to show the world my voice.

I looked for a friendly face in the crowd. It seemed everyone supported Pinky. None of the Favored were here and neither were the Flowers. Who could I tap to back me up? Who even would?

I saw a face, neutral to what was going on. She was no fangirl, as she had only walked in during the middle of Pinky's "rapping." I hoped she wouldn't be mad about this.

I gulped a tiny bit. "I choose Honesty to be my backup."

Honesty betrayed no emotion as she parted the crowd and stood beside me.

"I don't really sing...or rap for that matter. Why me, Squire?" Honesty murmured.

I whispered back, "I don't have anyone else to turn to."

"Honesty I can appreciate, by virtue of my name."
"I was hoping you would say that."
"Since this is a favor of me to you, I would like to ask you to do a favor for me."
"What would that be?"
"Please pick an actual rap song, because Pinky's 'rap' was no rap at all."

I cleared my throat and begun, trusting Honesty to follow my lead.

"I'm like 8 foot 4,
Blond hair to the floor,
You shorties never thought I dreamed about rapping hardcore,
No I ain't got a gun,
No I never really been in a club,
Still live with my parents but I'm still a thug!
I'm so gangster you can find me baking cookies at night,
You out clubbing, but I just made caramel delight!
T-Swift and T-Pain rapping on the same track!
It's a thug story, tell me can you handle that?" The crowd roared in delight, which made Pinky's face redden.

Honesty joined in with me sparingly, but always at the perfect time. "I had a dream last night,
I had high top Nikes,
I had
Diamonds in my mouth,
And Diamonds on my mic!
By the time I woke I was singing,
I'm on a boat, whoa oh!"

"Cause I'm a singer turned rapper!" I declared.

Honesty added, "Shorty I'm a make ya..."

"Straight to the top, yo!" I called.

Honesty said, "Shorty I'm a take ya..."

"You can call me T-Sweezy,
Now I'm a rap star!" I shouted.

Honesty followed, "Hey, It's a thug story,
Now tell 'em who you are,
Singer turned gangster..."

"You don't want to fight me!" I faked throwing some punches, which the crowd ate up.

Honesty sung, "Straight to the top..."

"In my extra small white tee!" I waved my hands straight in the air and the crowd mimicked.

Honesty and I finished together. "T-Swift and T-Pain all up on the same track!
It's a thug story now can you get with that?"

I struck some lame gangster pose, but the crowd loved me even more. After the applause died down, Hachi brought the attention back to her.

"Both performances were pretty good...only problem is that you two are both disqualified!" Hachi made the crowd gasp and boo.

I looked over at Honesty, who shrugged. "She's right. Pinky's song wasn't from the rap genre and you sang over your limit."

"So there's no winner?" Pinky asked.

Hachi explained, "There's always a winner. It seems we need a third contestant..."

"Did I hear someone call my name?" Faun appeared, something that endeared me to her even less.

Hachi tried to hide a smile as she shook some small, black, round object. "And your genre is...k-pop. You have the same length limit.

"My backup shall be Ryder." Faun immediately spoke.

Pinky clenched her jaw in frustration and Honesty groaned. "We've lost already."

"How did Faun get k-pop AND Ryder, when I and Squire had rap?!" Pinky protested.

Hachi showed us what she was holding. It was a large, black, plastic ball, with the number eight on it, that had a small hole at the bottom, which was covered in glass, and showed a weighted die with words on each side.

Hachi announced, "My parents gave me this new thing called a 'Magic Eight Ball!' This one only gives me different music genres, which the instructions said I'm supposed to pick a song of the genre on my 'mP3 player,' whatever the heck that is, and listen to."

"The outside world has too many confusing and useless things. Why are you obsessed with them, when you have a perfectly simple and useful life here?" Faun implored Hachi.

Hachi answered, "The outside world may be confusing, but that's because it's complex, and I find complex things fascinating! They have so many different languages, different national histories, different systems of government..."

"One language. One history. One king for the island. It's perfect." Faun insisted.

Hachi nursed a crooked smile. "One benevolent king can be quite good, but what happens if the king is malevolent? Who will protect our rights then?"

"Hello? I thought I was about to get my ass handed to me by Faun?" Pinky interrupted the conversation.

Faun grinned. "Right then. Ryder, you should know the song 'Eat You Up,' correct?'"

"I know it so well, you'd think I wrote it. Go get 'em, shark." Ryder took the backup's microphone from Honesty.

"If you move any closer, boy, there is no guarantee...
What I will do to you I fear it and it's scaring me...
Like I've become some kind of demon in the night...
You look so tasty and I could eat you up alive!" Faun handled Ryder as if they were lovers.

Faun made a nice soprano. "I'll eat you up!"

"Your love your love..." Ryder had an interesting alto sound, but I bet she could hit Faun's range too.

Faun repeated, "I'll eat you up!"

"Your love your love...
Woah..." Ryder followed; together they were a tide of push and pull.

Faun stroked Ryder's face. "I'll eat you up!"

"Woah..." Ryder sung softly into Faun's touch.

Faun's smile looked cruel and manipulative to me. "So yum yum..."

"Woah..." Ryder probably would have made a better lead in this song than Faun.

Faun cooed, "Can't get enough!"

"Woah oh oh..." Ryder echoed.

Faun looked at the crowd and winked. "I think I'm in love..."

The crowd went bananas for her. Faun bowed, bowed, and bowed. Ryder looked like she wanted to slip away to the shadows.

"We have a winner! This singing showdown goes to...Faun!" Hachi congratulated her with a hearty handshake.

Pinky and I scowled. Honesty shook her head knowingly. Cane had found her Leaf's reporting notepad and was scribbling furiously.

Faun turned to Pinky and I. "So, as winner, I get something from each the Champion and the Squire..."

"Just name it." Pinky snapped bitterly.

Faun threw down the gauntlet. "I challenge the Champion to a jousting tournament in three days' time!"

The fangirls exploded in glee. Pinky looked rather relieved.

"I accept your terms without impediment. What do you want of my Squire though?" Pinky put her hand on my shoulder supportively.

Faun's eyes turned steely. "I challenge the Squire to a melee duel for honor before the jousting tournament."

"I accept, provided I choose my own sword." I wasn't afraid of Faun.

Pinky was alarmed. "Pet, what are you doing? Faun will destroy you in the arena!"

"If I can hold my own against a dozen corihor wraiths, then I've got nothing to fear from a measly little shark. And it's Squire, Miss Champion." I had my pride back from earlier today and I was going to hold onto it the best I could.

Hachi said, "As much fun as this has been, I'm going to bed for the night. Goodnight, ladies."

"Goodnight, Hachi!" Everyone chorused.

Hachi left as Sugar pushed her way through the crowd. Cane seemed confused and stopped Sugar, but after a brief, whispered conversation with her, Cane let Sugar pass. Sugar grabbed ahold of Pinky and yanked her off to places unknown.

Instead of following Pinky around, the fangirls stayed with me.

I shifted nervously. "Um...aren't you going to follow the Champion?"

"The Favored are probably talking business with Pinky, so we couldn't follow her if we tried." One member of the crowd answered.

Another maid demanded, "What are you going to do to entertain us?"

"Me? I just want to go to sleep." I replied.

A maid complained, "The Squire is supposed to protect the Champion's interests!"

"You guys just said she was busy, so that means I'm free right now, right?" I reasoned.

As the fangirls got into an argument with themselves, I slipped away and collapsed into bed for the night. Granted, that technique wasn't going to work the next time, but I'm just glad that I got away at all.

I had the strangest dream. I dreamed that a nation called Franz controlled the whole island and that both current royal rulers had been slain in battle, so Hachi never came to exist.

There was no crystal castle for me to live in, and in fact, I had been born into slavery. A cruel man and woman ruled Franz, forcing the people to develop coal-fueled technology that was polluting the environment, as it had done to the outside world, and people with magical skills were burned at the stake.

I had been discovered as a "witch" and sentenced to burn. The cruel king asked me if I had any deathbed wishes. I asked only that my master grant me mercy, if it was her will.

My master stepped forward, who turned out to be Roi. I begged her to save me. Stone-faced, Roi raised a burning torch and cast it on my stake. I died screaming for the earth to save me.

Today managed to be worse than yesterday, considering the jousting tournament that I lost miserably, it was quite an achievement.

Hachi and Pinky went on their little day-long date. I was forced to follow and tend to Pinky's needs. It made this passion burn in me, this hatred of Pinky. I wanted nothing to do with her. There would be no forgiveness this time. I was done with Pinky. Elegance would get her wish.

The fangirls were probably what led me to it. If Pinky had to go to the bathroom, or if they were otherwise separated from their beloved Champion, I was expected to entertain and play court jester. This wasn't Champion and Squire. This was Champion and Royal Fool.

Later on in the day, Pinky got separated from her entourage again. What was surprising is that Prince Cain came to get her this time. Hachi didn't seem to like it, but she went along with Pinky, just in case Cain was trying anything unsavory.

I ditched the fangirls and ended up finding Pinky crying in an abandoned hallway. I know I said I was mad at her and wasn't going to forgive her for treating me as her court clown, but...the tears did it. I couldn't just leave my friend crying by herself.

I shook Pinky by the shoulders. "What's wrong, Pinky?"

It was no time for formalities.

"Oh, Pet, I just got the worst news from my dad. He came all the way from the jungle to talk to the king, and decided...I can't even say it..." Pinky started sobbing harder.

I gave Pinky a hug. "What is it? It can't be that bad..."

"I'm getting married, Pet. My father arranged it." Pinky sniffled.

I froze. "What? To who?"

"Prince Cain."