(OLD) Forever Desires

Chapter Fourteen

Fourteen

Complete utter shock washed over my newly, fake face as I stared down the dinning table. Ignoring The Born's devilish, subtle smirk, the daughters rolling their eyes and the Alices smiling at me sweetly; I saw something completely new. Or nostalgic. That sounds best, more fitting. The similar brown chocolate pools locked on mine as our face remained calm. Blinking was rare, along with breath and moving. It was a shock for us both, a shock for us that we were still alive and breathing. A wave of happiness casted light into my eyes as I took a shaking step forward, then slamming my palms on the table. 

"Claude," I blurted and gripped the elegant, deep violet table cloth. Staring at his shaggy black hair, callused hands — that were always drawing — and the vivid golden flakes that were dancing in his shocked, happy eyes. 

He was alive. 

※※※

Now feeling the pain and guilt that entered my system, I stared worriedly at Sail's arm. It wasn't often that I cared that I injured someone — seriously. I stumbled forward and rested my hand on Sail's shoulder, he twitched suddenly then relaxed after finalizing it was my hand.

"Sorry," I mumbled softly and kept my eyes fixed on the redness of the scientist's hair. It was as if he had a shower in paint. I had the urge to touch it — for some odd reason — but to my relief I had enough restraint to avoid the urge. Returning my gaze back to Sail, I could see the fading smile disappear off of Sail's face. "Seriously! I'm not fucking around here!" I slammed my fist on his arm pissed off that he thought everything that I did and said was some sick joke. "Damn it! What the hell is your problem!" I didn't hit, but I stomped and stormed ahead of the crowd. 

It seemed everything I did was either harming someone or making them silently laugh as if what I was speaking of was a hilarious statement — a joke. A joke damn it! As if I'd joke about something so serious! My eyebrows furrowed as I spun around the corner, still being dragged by a leash. My feet were pounding with pain as I angrily raced down the halls. I wanted to claw at someone's throat.... I wanted to someone not see to see the sunset before they wandered home. I wanted to kill someone so bad. So I did — naturally. 

I fell to a stop, shocking Takers, scaring scientists and making my team go; 'Oh god, here she goes again.' Of course I'd go insane! Digging my elbow into the stomach of that woman made her cough and made the others flee for safety. My nails tracing the small path of her neck, then piercing violently in. I could feel her throat rub against the flesh of my fingertips, the spit and beverages that she's drunk covered my fingers as I brought them out. The eyes were frozen. The mouth thick. The body numb. Time had slowed. My palms faced towards myself, stinging with regret and...sadness. It was odd for me to actually realize how awful I felt to kill someone with my own hands.

Killing with a knife let's the pain and guilt linger around your palms for eternity, killing with a gun let's life flow without hesitations. 

Those were wise words that the voice whispered softly in my head. I looked away, crawling to my knees and left the body untouched. I could feel the astonishment sink in my flesh and stain it. Not wanting to glance over — but glancing over anyway — I could see the amazement radiated from Cover and Sail's bodies. Their eyes locked solely on me, their bodies unable to move and mouths helplessly hanging open. I had a fear that my heart was changing as the time flew by. Being out of the arena has caused me to have change of thoughts in everything. 

I didn't like it.

Continuing on with our (supposedly) important errand, I was shoved towards two clean cut, wooden doors. Slowly shifting the door forward I could already hear the excitement dripping from the walls. Stepping into the large room of hell, I was waken up by the laughter and screams of girlishness escaping the room suddenly. My eyebrow twitched as I stared at the craziness that had settled in around the room.