Loving for Money - ON HOLD

Journal Entry 2

August 20th, 2011

I met with Joe today at his office. I left around 11:30, and arrived around 12:15, because I got lost on the way. Joe didn't seem to mind, though. He seemed very understanding about it.

I tried to dress nicely for the interview, wearing a pair of black tights, a long white tunic, and my favorite pair of short boots. The weather here has been a little chilly lately. After having looked in the mirror for the fifth time, I set off on my way. I was irrationally nervous, and I think a big part of that was because I wasn't entirely sure that I would be fit for whatever job they were searching for. I was terrifed of not being good enough.

When I got there, the inside of the building was perfectly white and crisp. The tile floors sparkled with a beautiful paleness that reminded me off a fresh snowfall in the winter. The leather furniture sitting in the waiting room matched the clean, white walls that lined the whole room. Even the receptionist was wearing a white dress with white heels. The whole room was perfectly decorated, the soft hum of jazz music completing the atmostphere.

I walked up to the receptionist and told her my name. She looked up at me through her thick-rimmed glasses and pushed a button on the desk without saying a word to me. I thought that was very rude.

I showed myself to a seat on one of the white couches, absolutely paranoid that I would dirty it up somehow. I picked up a magazine from the glass coffee table, and mindlessly flipped through it, all the while trying to surpress the nerves in my stomach.

I heard a large door open and looked up to be greeted by the bulky man, who I now know as Joe. Following closely behind him were the two boys I had run into. They both looked upset, and the one with the blue eyes seemed to be trying to comfort the one with green eyes. He was lightly hanging on to the hand of the curly-haired boy, and seemed to be whispering words of consolation to him as they neared me. The blue eyed-boy looked towards me and offered a small smile. I reciprocated.

"Eleanor," Joe greeted me. "Thank you for coming."

I nodded my head, but kept my eyes on the boys behind him. He must have seen me noticing them, because he immediately introduced them. "This is Harry," he said pointing to the curly-haired boy, "and this is Louis."

Harry never said a word to me, and he never made eye contact with me. 

"Follow me, Eleanor."

I did as I as told and followed Joe and the two boys back behind the large oak door.

Joe's office was just as crisp as the lounge area, and he led me to a cluster of white leather chairs in the corner of the office. Four, to be exact. The chairs were in a square formation: Joe sat in the chair next to me, and Louis and Harry sat across from us, Louis still lightly gripping Harry's hand.

Harry still never looked at me, and I thought it was such a shame, because his eyes were so pretty. I could have sworn I saw a tear fall, too. 

"Eleanor," Joe started. "Before we begin, I have some paperwork that needs to be signed." 

I thought that was strange, since I was only interviewing. 

He slid over a packet of documents, which I couldn't be bothered to read through completely. He told me that the paperwork was to ensure that everything that was said in the interview remained in that room, and if I spoke of it, he and his team could sue me for everything I have. He made it clear that they would win, too. I'm not sure what I was thinking, I should have walked out right then, but I couldn't. I signed the papers. 

He went on to ask me about my life, my morals, my values, my hobbies, etc. It was actually a strange interview, as he never once asked me about job qualifications. The whole time we talked I couldn't help but notice Louis and Harry still sitting silenty across from me. The two boys looked tired, hopeless, and devastated. As Joe kept talking, I wondered to myself what could cause such heartbreak. 

For some reason it hadn't struck me as odd that he hadn't mentioned what the job was for yet. It was towards the end of the interview when I finally interjected. I said, "Excuse me, Joe, but what exactly is the position you would be hiring me for?" 

He paused his sentence at that point and looked to Louis, who then spoke for the first time all day. 

"The position.." he began, "is to be my girlfriend." 

At first I thought he was kidding, so I let out an awkward laugh that nobody else in the room reciprocated. It was then that I realized this boy was not joking. 

"I'm sorry, what?" I had to mask my amusement. The whole thing was absurd. 

"Remember," Joe had to remind me. "You signed the papers." He then went on to explain the situation, and that was when I realized why the two boys looked so hurt all day - especially Harry. Joe told me that the boys needed a cover, someone to help them out to stop all the "gay" rumors, as he called them. I highly disagreed with his word choice. 

He said that Louis and Harry had a special relationship, but it wouldn't be accepted in the public eye. I also disagreed with that. 

Joe went on to say that Harry and Louis' relationship was to be kept completely quiet, and that they were hardly even aloud to sit next to each other in interviews or press conferences anymore. He said the public knew too much, and in order to keep their fanbase, something had to be done. Joe firmly believes that if Louis and Harry were to be found out, they would lose their fame almost instantly. 

I kept looking over to Louis and Harry as Joe was explaining it, but neither would look me in the eye. I can't imagine what they must be feeling right now. I left the interview with uncertainty, and I hadn't given them an answer as to what my decision would be. 

They told me to call by tomorrow, because if I accepted, we would need to start work right away.

I can't be the person who keeps two people apart. How could anyone do that? I need some serious time to think, but between you and me, I don't think I'm going to accept. I just can't do that to those boys. 

Eleanor x