Loving for Money - ON HOLD

Journal Entry 3

August 21st - 22nd, 2011

Sorry for not updating, but the day after I spoke with Louis and (stupidly) told him I would help him, I had to call Joe and tell him my decision. I think he was more than pleased. However, that day was pretty uneventful, and so I chose to sum up that day and also today in one entry: 

August 21st: I called Joe and told him I had agreed to help Louis. I purposely left out the fact that Louis  and I had met at the park the day before, because Louis seemed to think that we shouldn't have met at all. Between you and me, I'm so glad we did. That day we pretty uneventful. It wasn't until the next day, when Joe wanted me to meet up with him, that things got interesting. 

August 22nd: I made my way to Joe's office today, and this time I didn't get lost! That was probably the highlight of my day. It didn't get much better from there. 

Upon arriving, I was greeted by Joe, Louis, and three other boys, who I assumed were the other members of the band. I was right. But Harry was nowhere to be found. Joe thanked me again and again for agreeing to help the boys, and each time it grated on my nerves a little more. I don't know if this guy was behind the idea of creating a false relationship, but he seemed to be overly excited about it, and that bothered me. He re-introduced me to Louis, (trying to be funny and introducing him as my boyfriend), and that made me like him even less. This man is very tasteless, to say the least. Then he introduced me to three boys: Niall, Liam, and Zayn. The three boys looked extremely young, but they were handsome nonetheless. They were very polite, but the awkward tension in the room coudn't even have been cut with a knife. A tree axe, maybe. 

We all sat around and I introduced myself as Eleanor, and they all greeted me with warm smiles. It was then that we got right into background information, pay rate, and future plans. 

We sat at a large oak table, all six of us, and Joe handed me and the boys (minus Harry, still) a packet full of information. It was about 10 pages long, and it seemed crazy to me that this had been put together in such a short amount of time. Joe wasn't kidding when they said they needed to start work as soon as possible. 

The first page of the packet held the background story on it. i was amazed at how intricate every single detail was planned out. I read through it on my own. According to Joe, this is how Louis and I met: Harry had decided to meet up with an old friend from home while on a break, and Louis tagged along. I, apparently, tagged along with the friend that Harry knew, and on that day Louis and I met. The page contained names, dates, times, etc, but I won't bore you with that. 

Upon reading Harry's name, I finally got the courage to ask where he was. 

"He's.. sick." Liam answered, and I looked to Louis for confirmation. He met my gaze with a look of desolation, telling me that Harry wasn't really sick at all. Well, not physically at least. I'm sure he was sick emotionally and mentally. 

I quickly shut up about Harry at that point. 

The next page of the packet was in my packet only. It was my payrate. Looking at the numbers, I was shocked. Joe must have seen my expression, because he began to explain.

"We don't take this lightly, Eleanor, and we want to make sure that you are getting everything you can out of it. We know how hard this is going to be for you - you are going to be uprooting your entire life. It will not be easy, and therefore, your pay is quite large. It's our way of thanking you for all you've agreed to do for us."

I think that was the only sincere thing I'd ever heard him say. 

"In addition, for every extra opportunity, like kissing Louis in public, posting on social media about him, things like that, you will get a £100 bonus."

And just like that, he was back to being insincere. A £100 bonus for every unnecessary interaction? Can you believe that? It almost makes me sick. 

The next pages of the packet were filled with places, times, and dates that Louis and I were to be together for the next six months. At the end of the calendar, a little note at the bottom read "*subject to change*" and it made me wonder just how drastically my life was actually going to change. I really hadn't thought this through clearly.

I kept stealing glances at Louis the whole meeting through, and he kept trying to give me consolation smiles to make me feel less awkward. It hardly worked, though. 

"Go home and study this background information. All of your person information is real, but we all need to make sure our stories match and line up. We will come back tomorrow, where you will all be asked a series of questions, individually, to make sure that your answers are the same." 

I looked at the other three boys at the table and they all had the same look on their face: disappointment. I wondered if I was doing the right thing by doing this. 

As we exited to leave, Joe called my name and had me sit down at the table with him. He told me there was a contract that needed to be signed, and the lawyer would be with us shortly. 

I watched as Joe crinkled his nose when looking over the contract, making sure everything was in its place. He rubbed his temples and scratched at his close-shaven beard a few times, too. I picked at my cuticles as I waited, contemplating whether or not I was doing the right thing. 

The lawyer came in and talked to me, althought I didn't understand what she was saying. What I got out of the conversation was this: the contract was good for two years, and after the contract ended, it would be up to management to renew it or decide to break off the "relationship." 

Two years. I would be 21 by then. As she continued to talk, I had a slight internal  panic attack, right there at the table. Thoughts of regret and fear washed over my body and I found myself starting to sweat just thinking about being locked into this for the next two years of my life.  Two years is a long time. A lot can happen in two years. 

She went on to say that should management decide to renew the contract, I will have the opportunity to decline, but it would be a very 'sticky situation', as she put it. She didn't go into much more detail than that. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

The rest of the conversation was blocked out, as I can only remember focusing on my panic attack and my own thoughts as she continued to speak. At some point, I must have absent-mindedly signed the contract, because before I knew it, I was up, shaking hands with Joe and the lawyer, and heading home.

I'm scared, Journal. I think I have just signed my life away. 

Eleanor x