My Heart Goes Out To You, Captain | Levi X Reader ✓

Chapter 4: I'm fine

Reader's pov:

I went to my assigned room without going back to the mess hall, I was afraid of breaking. I forgive Aurou, but I haven't told him yet. I went to bed, to yet again, be plagued by nightmares.

~Nightmare~

I was in a forest looking at a younger version of myself. I looked really small, it was as if I shrank. Little me wandered around as if she was looking for something. I followed her and she turned around to look at me.

Her face drained of color and she backed away from me. Her eyes were wide and soon she was running away. I was confused and outstretched my hand to call her back. I realised there was something wrong, my hand was huge. It looked really masculine and had blood stained on it. I looked down and saw that I was naked, but I didn't have any private areas.

Oh God...

I suddenly lost control of my body and ran. I ran after little me. I snatched her up and placed half of her body in my mouth. Next thing I heard was the crunch of her bones breaking. I internally screamed because I wasn't in control of myself.

~Nightmare over~

I shot straight up in bed as a bit of sweat tickled down the side of my forehead. I had never had a dream that horrifying before. I could almost taste the blood in my mouth from ripping the body apart. I felt bile rise up from my throat and I put my hand to my mouth and ran down the hall to the bathroom. I threw up from all the gore and sickness in my dream.

After I was finished I went back to my room and got dressed. I was still terrified from my horrendous dream. When I got into the mess hall I sat with Petra and the rest. When I sat down I didn't really eat, all of those images were still fresh in my mind. I looked at Aurou who had a nervous stare and was fidgety

"Aurou I forgive you, you know." I said and plastered a smile. He sighed in relief. I'll admit, I'm really scary when I'm angry. I sat there and watched everyone eat.

"You know you should eat something. You have the tests today." Petra said in concern.

"I'm fine." I said. It was the biggest lie ever.

"No seriously. You're all pale." She said and put her hand to my forehead.

"I just had a nightmare that scared the hell out of me. That's all." I whispered so only she could hear me. I was embarrassed, a girl my age shouldn't be having nightmares. She smiled at me and hugged me.

"If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here." She whispered as I returned the hug.

"Thank you, Petra." I smiled at her after parting. She smiled in response. I really like Petra, she's an angel. She is stunning, has a perfect body, and most of all...her amazing personality.

After breakfast, I had to meet Erwin at the training grounds. When I got there all the squad leaders were there. I went over to them and saluted.

"Okay so you'll start with killing Titans, while doing it we will evaluate your 3DMG skills. Then we will see your hand to hand combat. We won't necessarily need this but I like to see those kind if skills." Erwin told me.

"Yes, sir!" I replied. I already had my gear on so I went to the entrance of the forest. I was given the signal to go so I shot off the branch with incredible speed. I scanned the area for the fake Titans until I found them.

I went to the first one and with adrenaline pumping throughout my veins, I jumped on its arm and front flipped. In the process, slashing the fake nape perfectly. I loved practising like this.

It helped me get rid of my negative emotions, so it was at least a little good that I had the nightmare. I saw another Titan and shot my hook to a tree beside it. When I pulled myself towards it I cut the entire nape off, blunting my swords in the process.

I cursed to myself, sometimes I let my strength get out if hand. I was aware of the gas limit so I decided to use the trees to boost me a little so I didn't have to use much gas. Suddenly a fake Titan popped out. Out if reflex I held my swords out. I slashed the nape perfectly. I finished killing all the fake Titans and went to the end of the forest. When I got there I saw Erwin writing down in a notepad. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Your skills are exceptional." He complimented. I smiled and saluted.

"Thank you, sir." I replied. I saw Hanji looking at me weirdly.

"Shortcake!!!! I could use those skills for help with Titan experimenting!" She said, then my face drained of colour. She experiments on Titans?! Nah I'm alright thanks.

"Tch, you'll get the brat killed shittyglasses." Levi spat at her and she just laughed.

"Right! Now to hand to hand combat." Erwin interrupted. I nodded and went to the sparring field to see Petra and everyone else. It makes sense that I'd be sparring against them, they are the most skilled out if all scouts.

"You'll be going against the members of the Special Operations Squad to test your limits." Erwin said to me. I nodded and saw I was against Petra first.

I don't know if I should hold back. Petra and I circled around each other, she charged at me and threw a punch at my face. I knew she wasn't going to hold back so I won't either. I dodged the punch easily by grabbing her fist and tightening my grip on her hand until she cringed. When she cringed I took the opportunity to knee her in the gut. She grunted and clutched her stomach. I took the opportunity to pin her down. After that she surrendered and I won. I beaten all of The Special Operations Squad after that.

When we were done, we headed back inside for lunch. I had the rest of the day off considering I just worked my ass off. I was sitting down eating my first meal of the day, I was ravenous considering I skipped breakfast.

"You were amazing!" Petra said suddenly causing me to jump a little. I laughed nervously.

"Thank you Petra." I said and returned the smile. After lunch I was called to the Commander's office. When I got there I knocked twice and I was let in.

"We have decided that you are going to be on The Special Operations Squad. You are truly one of the best cadets we've seen in a few years." Erwin complimented. I blushed at his comment and smiled.

"Thank you, sir." I said and saluted. I looked over at Levi who was leaning against the wall. He let out a 'tch' and looked at me.

"You'll move into Petra's dorm and I expect you to keep it clean. Am I clear?" He said.

"Crystal, sir." I replied.

After that I went back out to the squad. My squad. I smiled like an idiot and sat down.

"Hey whose squad did you get into?" Eld asked.

"Well say hello to your new member!" I said gleefully. They all smiled at me.

"That means Levi picked you out himself. Only the best of the best get chosen by him." Gunther said, complimenting me and the rest. I didn't know that Levi only picks the best. I smiled to myself.

"I'm here guys, I'll see the world. Just like I promised." I mumbled to myself. I was happy yet sad that I can't see this with Lucinda and Scott. I felt tears threatening to fall. I stopped myself.

I'm fine.
I'm okay...
...
...
It's a big lie.
...
...
I'm not okay. I just wish I could truly realise that.

A/n: Done. I plan to get all chapter posted up by tomorrow night or Saturday. (where I live)

Then I'll start on the chapters that will be made by me. Whew, it's like a work out with your thumbs here XD

Byeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!