Butterfly

Jimin's nightmare

I'm feeling a little sad that a lot of people have sent requests asking for Yoongi's deafness to be "cured" in whatever way. It feels like a lot of you don't accept that Yoongi is deaf. Or maybe you see being deaf as something to be fixed. In Deaf culture, being Deaf is a massive part of identity. It is for me, too. Being Deaf for a lot of Deaf people is such a strong sense of identity that some Deaf people look down on Deaf people who do get "fixed" in whatever way. It's the same in the HI community too, I've been rejected from HI clubs because I wear hearing aids. A lot of the Deaf/HI communities believe that you should embrace your Deafness/hearing loss. (Obviously not all Deaf/HI people feel this way) I feel like for Yoongi, he doesn't feel like there is a problem or that there is something wrong with him, he's fine as he is, please stop trying to fix Yoongi :(

Not only that, but this is a Deaf!AU, guys :(

Anyway here is Jimin having a dream that Yoongi can hear.

When: Twins are 3 (but they're not really mentioned in here)

"Jimin?" Jimin looked over at his husband, who was sat on the sofa curled up with some popcorn, a warm smile on his face. "Yeah?" "Can we watch a movie?" He sounded so unsure, like Jimin would refuse to do something like that, and it made him laugh. He hurried over and snuggled into his side, "of course we can, Yoongi." Yoongi grinned.

They watched the film mostly in silence, save for a few critical comments on the acting that had the other laughing loudly. When it finished, Yoongi turned to face him, "do you love me?" Jimin smiled, "yes, I do." "Even though I can't hear?" Yoongi was looking down, playing with his thumbs, a nervous habit of his, and Jimin frowned, reaching out to grab his hands, "Yoongi. It doesn't matter to me that you can't hear, I love you for you," he promised. Yoongi paused for a moment, "then, if you could have one wish, any wish at all, you wouldn't wish for me to hear?"

It broke Jimin's heart a little bit. "I love you, no matter what. Whatever you want, I want. If you're happy being deaf, then I'm happy, because I love you. I fucking love you, Yoongi. Sure, there's been times when I wished you could hear, like with Jisoo's first word, I wish that you heard that, but I love you as you are. I don't want to change you." He finished with a soft kiss on Yoongi's lips, but Yoongi was still frowning, "but, why do you keep dreaming about me being able to hear?"

Jimin woke up in cold sweats. He was panting heavily, and he felt like he needed to be sick. Yoongi stirred awake besides him, and Jimin honestly felt like he could pass out. The light on Yoongi's side switched on, and Yoongi looked at him worriedly, -what's wrong? Are you okay?- Jimin was not okay. He began to cry, his whole body jerking as he sobbed, and Yoongi sat up instantly, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Jimin held onto him losely, he couldn't hold him back, he didn't deserve to. He didn't deserve Yoongi. Yoongi deserved so much better than him.

He hated having those kind of dreams. He didn't wake up with a sense of longing like he did the first time he had one, he woke up with a huge feeling of guilt, a heavy cloud that hung over him for days, weeks even. Those kind of dreams made him uncomfortable, made him feel like he was a terrible husband. He didn't want to change Yoongi, not for anything, he took Yoongi as he was and Yoongi was perfect as he was. There was nothing wrong with Yoongi. "I'm sorry," Jimin cried into his chest, and Yoongi held him tighter, running his fingers through his hair to help calm him down.

He hated having those kind of dreams. They made him feel sick to the stomach, like he was a horrible person, the worst fucking person. Those kind of dreams made him wonder if he really had accepted Yoongi's deafness. He felt like, in every single cell of his body, he accepted it, but those dreams made him question it. He felt guilty, he felt disgusting, he felt as if he truly did not deserve Yoongi in anyway. He felt heartbroken.

Jimin quickly sat up and faced Yoongi. He probably looked a mess, his face red and wet with tears and snot, it was disgusting, but Yoongi smiled warmly at him and wiped his face with his soft hands. -I love you- Jimin signed. He had to know. He had to know. Yoongi looked confused, he frowned deeply, -I love you too, what's wrong? What did you dream about?- But Jimin shook his head quickly, -I had a horrible nightmare, I don't want to think about it- he told, his eyes watering again, -I just want you to know that I really love you. I love every little thing about you, you're perfect to me.- Now Yoongi looked even more confused.

-You're perfect as you are- Jimin reminded, quickly throwing himself at the older and wrapping his arms around him again. He stayed there for the longest time, just sobbing into Yoongi's chest, holding him, being held. He stayed there until he calmed down, and then Yoongi pulled back. -I love you. Please don't be sad, I hate it when you're sad. If you're sad because of me then stop. If you're sad for something else then tell me quickly, we can get through it together.- Jimin smiled slightly, -as long as you're here, I won't be sad- he told, and the pair laid down again.

Jimin thought about everything as he laid on Yoongi's chest. It was just a dream, just a stupid nightmare. In reality, he did love Yoongi. He loved and accepted Yoongi, everything about Yoongi. He loved Yoongi's deafness, just like Yoongi loved his own deafness. He loved all of Yoongi's flaws, but he quickly reminded himself that being deaf isn't a flaw. It was a part of who Yoongi was, it was definitely not a flaw.There was nothing wrong with Yoongi. There was nothing wrong with deafness. He sighed heavily before closing his eyes again. He really, really did love Yoongi.