How To Be Happy

The Night That Changed Everything

Dear Journal,

Yup, basically everything was going well. But then of course it never stays like that for long, for some reason life insists on making people suffer. And there was one day that I like to think I suffered more than any other. Call this ‘my worse day ever’ or whatever, it was very bad day for me.

I hate reflecting on that day. But for the sake of this journal and myself, I’m going to do it. We can’t forget the things we don’t want to remember because it makes us sad or embarrassed. I believe everything happens for a reason and past experiences shape up who we are today.

That day was a day like any other, it started off normally. I woke up, went to school and then came back. Mum was where ever she was, I never ask and she never tells me. Usually she was home during weekdays which seemed strange to me.

And the doorbell rang.

I was home alone so the smart thing to do was to ignore it. Some people aren’t smart though, and that included me. The things that people do out of curiosity never fail to amaze me. This time it didn’t, this time curiosity scarred me.

Then the doorbell rang again.

What would have happened if I didn’t let curiosity win? What if I didn’t answer the door? Who knows? What happened has already happened, there’s no point in pondering over it. That’s the natural thing the brain does though. Wonder if there could have been a better outcome if we chose our actions more carefully.

That doesn’t matter now. I chose to open the door.

As soon as I opened it I knew I shouldn’t have. Behind the door was a pretty much drunk guy. His face did seem familiar but I couldn’t pinpoint where I knew him.

“Hello little lady, where is your mum?” he slurred

“Sorry she’s not home” I answered and started to close the door already.  He jammed his foot in front of the door preventing me from closing the door. Before I could react he invited himself in causing me to stumble back a couple of steps.

“That’s ok, I’m sure you’ll do just fine” Those words, I remember so well. I barely got time to register them before I shot out from his distance of grabbing me.

“My body’s not for selling, sorry.” Only then did I start panicking. He was in front of the door so I couldn’t escape that way. I thought of the ways I could get him to leave, at the time asking seemed like a reasonable way “So please may you leave now” I remember hearing somewhere that drunk guys were easy to provoke so  I remembered my best manners. It didn’t work though.

What I could only describe as a cross between a snort and a chuckle came out of the horrible, drunk man’s mouth. “Sorry babe, I’m stressed, I want it NOW!”

Letting my instincts take over I bolted to the toilet, the only room with a lock. “He’s drunk surely he can’t catch me.” I’ll sit in the toilet until he gets bored and leave I planned out. I really did under estimate him as he caught me before I could even reach the toilet.

“No please don’t” I whispered as tears sprung to my eyes.

“How about I make you a deal? Since you’re quite obviously off limits I’ll pay you double compared to what I pay your mum?” I only shook my head. “Hmm you are quite beautiful young one, three times more?” I shook my head again. “You greedy bitch! You’re getting nothing!” he shouted in my ear and I winced.

He started pulling me to my mum’s bedroom and I struggled to move out of his grasp. Suddenly out of nowhere his hand lashed out against cheek. “Listen here you little bitch, do not anger me anymore, I’ve had a bad day, I came here for some fun.” I was too stunned to do anything or react as he dragged me the rest of the way to my mum’s bedroom.

It was only when I reached the bedroom that my senses kicked back in and I remembered what was going to happen. But me, a small, non-athletic girl had no chance against a middle aged, muscular, drunk guy.

That night, at the age of thirteen my virginity was stripped away from me unwillingly.

~~~~~

Helloooooooooooooo! :D

Guys, i apologise for the....horribleness of this chapter. It gets better after this I promise! 

Well, stay safe! 

Laters, Tiffany x