November 19, 2008

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November 19, 2008

Zale kept asking when we would  make our relationship public.  Every time he asked I tried avoiding having to give an answer by changing the subject.  Nevertheless somehow the conversation always ended up back at that question again.   I wanted to make it official but, I couldn't because my parents would make me leave him and that would break my heart.  I thought it was mean though, making him wait around.  I knew what I had to do.  When we were instant messengering I picked a fight.  I then called him and just as fast as it had started, it was over.  I knew that there was only one way to keep myself from going back to him too soon.  I told him I hated him and would never forgive him.  I hung up and cried for a while.  I guess you never realize how much you actually love someone until they're gone.  I was only eleven and had fallen in love.  Now he was gone and I knew that I had to keep him from coming back.  I decided to hold a grudge for as long as I could.  That would keep my heart away from him.  That would keep me from falling again. 

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