The Starseeds; Beyond Time (Book one)

Chapter 2 - 3

chapter 2

No Turning Back

Herb looked up in disappointment. This was clearly not the night to be wandering alone through the fields in the cold night air. The full moon wasn't giving him much visibility as it drifted between the dark clouds lingering above. If the dark sky turned even darker, Herb knew he was going to be in some serious trouble. He was annoyed now. He hadn't planned his getaway to be in the midst of a fast approaching storm.

With his gloved hand, he zipped up his old hand-me-down jacket his mother, Mary, bought from the local reservation swap-meet. His mother often bought him things that looked Native Indian in design. Herb understood why now. He looked like he belonged to some Indian tribe. He had long, straight, black hair, darker skin than most, and big brown eyes. And that was the reason he was headed for the local reservation. That was the first place he was going to search for his roots.

***

Herb pulled his hand knitted woolen hat down over his ears. He gathered up his belongings and headed for the adjacent field as fast as he could run from his home and into all the unknown events, the ones he had not foreseen.

Herb knew there was no turning back. He had also heard all the rumors. The end of the world was approaching fast. It was now or never. What if time was running out? He wanted to find his real mother. It had to be now! He wasn't going to sit back and wait for the planet to explode or wait for the end of the world as the other kids feared it would happen.

Herb had wondered a lot about the rumors, the prophecies, the catastrophes. Everyone in the media was saying the same thing. They were all trying to make sense of the Mayan calendar and why it just stopped. Did they get the time right? Or maybe it was going to happen sometime in the future, even the next hundred years? He'd heard that the poles where shifting and so much more. Herb wasn't going to wait around. He wanted to experience as much of his short life as possible before that destruction occurred, and he knew what destruction felt like. He had been living with one catastrophe after another just about every day of his life lately.

And tonight, as he ran away from all his pain, Herb often wondered what the meaning of his own existence was. This anguished his mind which repeated the same phrases that looped like a broken record. Why was I born if my real mother didn't want me, or even love me?

Herb had so many unanswered questions, why! For months now, night after night they were always there lurking in his mind as he lay in bed staring at his ceiling unable to quiet his monkey mind from racing from concept to concept.

What's the meaning of life? Why would God let someone give birth to me and give me away? Why? Why does my dad, who's not my real dad, hate me so much? Why?

This was the emotional baggage he was running away from and longed to escape from. Tonight he had done that, but he was carrying all his dense baggage with him. It was going to slow him down more than he knew.

Tonight, what was there to look forward to in life when all that was around him was sad and pathetic, hopeless and depressing? Why would anyone want to turn around and admit they made a mistake and want to go home and be miserable for the rest of their lives?

***

As soon as he felt he was safe, and far enough away from his township, he slowed down and searched inside his backpack for his compass. Once Herb got his whereabouts, he ventured forward towards the Indian Reservation hundreds of miles away. He trekked on, wandering through the endless fields as the clouds darkened and a light rain started to trickle down.

Herb often turned and looked over his shoulder, mumbling those phrases again, almost agreeing with his father. "He's right, I should never have been born... Nobody wants a reject. Maybe I am stupid... or something..." And just like that, the sky opened up. The downpour made him take cover under the nearby trees.