You Have It All

Chapter 1

So where to start here: lets just say my high school life was going well how as any girl would want it to go: perfect. I was everything: drama star, talented singer, captain of the cheer squad, straight A student and on honor roll 3 times in a row. I am only in grade 11 yet I have so much done in high school. Some say I'm one of the "prettiest" and "skinniest" girls in school I mean who wouldn't love me? I'm not an airhead but these qualities have been a real self-esteem booster. Yes I get it, I'm not the most humblest of people, sometimes it drives me crazy but everyone else loves it. But thats the thing right then and there, the thing I longed for most: love.

Some people wondered if it was natural to be as 'perfect' as I was. But I knew deep down I wasn't 'perfect'. Scientifically speaking its impossible to be 'perfect'. Yes there were people who were jealous of me and yes there were girls who hated me for no reason but what most people didn't know is that it took me a long road to get to where I am.

I knew that my elementary school years were crap. I remember all the teasing, taunting and bullying I went through. I remember all the terrible thoughts that I had about myself and those nights where I would cry myself to sleep because of this. All those times wishing I could be someone but myself-well now look at me. Back then I went through puberty at a really young age (yes which means acne from grades 6-10) and back then I wasn't exactly the skinniest either (lets face it I knew I was fat and so did everyone else too). I heard the things said behind my back and even some people said it to my face. But I was stronger than that, I had to be.

Sure there were comments like "why would i like her? Shes fat and ugly-never in a million years would i like her"

or "im just eating your food, you dont need it, you could lose the extra pounds"

and even "you know if she doesnt get a dance that shes gonna cry right"

but now when people look at me all they think is 'wow'. I intend to keep it that way, not that I like the attention, just the positive environment. Ha well it's not that positive, there's still a lot of competition but this time round I actually have a chance at winning something.

Hard work, determination, diet, exercise, thousands of acne treatments from creams to pill form; I went through it all. I'm now as size that I only thought was possible in my dreams (you know going from a Large to a Small) and for once I was actually something worth looking at.

I know I know, 'females are no object and we shouldn't see ourselves as looking toys for males' but haven't you always wanted to be worth something to someone? Like it would physically hurt him if you had suddenly disappeared? To feel like you could actually be helping someone, feeling their love and loving them back.

I understand 'ladies you shouldn't have to change yourself for a guy' but does anyone even listen to that anymore? These reasons and much more were my drive to change. Who cares if I'm insecure, I'm different now, a good different.