I Just Wanna Save You

Reassurance

**usually the music describes the situation best**

   I woke up by my clock this time. I remember sometime last night, i put the alarm on early so I didn't have to face my mom. Mr.Lavaski probably told her everything he knew about last night. My mom would probably freak and I wasn't ready to face her just yet.

  I tried to get up but, just ended up laying back down whimpering in pain. I slowly got up and winced everytime i moved a certain way. I hated feeling weak, so vulnerable and useless. My thoughts were bitter by the time i got to the mirror and I gasped. What the actual hell!? I was a mess, i was in a horrible disarray. It looked like i just finished boxing with Muhammad Ali, and that was a understatement.

  My face had red scraches and cuts, a giant bruise was starting from my jaw going down my neck. I was scared to see what else happened. My eye was swelling and my lip busted. I swear it looked worst than it felt...werid. My light tanned skin was black and blue. My shoulder was at a werid angle. And my ankle sprang. Tears started flowing from eyes and didn't stop. I was so pathetic, i couldn't even go a day without getting beat up. But that just made the tears come even more.

  I took a shaky breath and turned on the shower. It was scolding hot but i didn't care hell i needed this. I let the water beat down on my aching muscles. My cuts stang after awhile though it felt numb. I dried off and put on some clothes. Black skinny jeans with a sleeping with sirens te-shirt. I threw on a black jacket when brushing out my hair the door opened. My mom took one look at me sighed and said "you're getting a ride today I'll be outside." I was about to protest but she closed the door.

  Awkward silence engulfed the car. My mom's hands were gripping the stering wheel so tight her knuckles were turning white. She had dark bags under her eyes and her hair was matted. It was so bizzare to see her like this, she always had a high and professional vibe to her. I tried making jokes and conversation but just kept getting one sided answers.

******

  We came to the front of the school and my mom looked at me with stern eyes. "Jade i need you to listen, we won't see each other for a very long time." I had confusion all over my face. What the hell was she talking about? I was about to ask a question but got cut off. "Listen to me i love you so much baby and i know you try to hide it but i know you get bullied at school. And it pains me so much to see you going through this. So when you get home you need to follow my instructions exactly. Go home pack your bags and do not get distracted. I will not be there but someday we will meet again..." she had a weary look in her eyes like she was making the hardest decision in her life.

  "After you pack your bags get out of the house as soon as you can and keep walking and never look back. Jade I love you so much and you have to trust me with this i am doing this for you. It's for the best." she mumbled more to herself than me.

  "Jade you have to remember these words exactly your life may count on it repeat after me...pina coladas and casanovas." I repeated until i knew it all by heart. "You have to know, this is all for you and your future. Everything i have done was to reassure your safety, and as of the moment this is the best choice. I love you with all my heart and you were the best thing that has happened to me but i think it's time we part ways now..." she looked at me with so much love in her eyes my heart was swimming in it.

  I didn't want to question anything or joke around because i could tell she was very serious about not seeing her again. I couldn't believe what was happening before me. My mother, my own mother telling me I'll never see her again. Yea we fought sometimes and disagreed on things but, this was supposed to be a war we fought together. Mother and daughter against everyone...against The World. I didn't care if i was being selfish. She was going to be here with me through everything. Us, she was my only friend. She always made sure i was taken care of and she always made sure i had a roof over my head and food to eat.

  I didn't realise how much i really truely was gonna miss her, until she said she was leaving and i wasn't gonna see her again. "Jade you have to go to school now, but Always remember this was for you and I know you will grow up to be a strong and beautiful woman. I love you so much baby. But go and never look back."

     I don't know what strength i had in me to get out that car that day. But, everyday I regret that i did and wish I could have turned back and been with my mother....