Make Me a Promise here Tonight // Vic Fuentes ✘

It Gets You Down. We've All Been There Sometimes.

"That's it, mom! I'm moving out for good!" I screamed as I ran up the stairs to retrieve all my things.

"Where are you gonna run to, Melody!? You're only sixteen years old!" My mom yelled up to me in her angry state. We never got along.

"I don't know! But I'm leaving you because I'm sick of all your criticism! I like what I like so stop trying to push me to be something I'm not! Plus, it's not like you ever cared anyway," I mumbled that last part to myself and of course she didn't hear me.

I finished packing up all that I could manage and dug out all my savings money to bring with me. I've been saving up money for a good college since I was 10, but I know that's never going to happen.

I hauled all my things down the stairs to see my mother was nowhere in sight. Good. I actually love her very much and it pained me to leave her but........I just had to do it. She makes my life miserable and I wasn't going to put up with that anymore. I'm already unstable by myself. I don't need anymore pressure on my shoulders.

And just like that, without a single goodbye, I left my mom. Forever. I was planning on never seeing her again, and I liked it that way. I just.........wanted to be alone.

That wasn't safe for me. I'm like a sneaky cat who wants the fish in the fish-bowl that you have to keep your eye on or else the cat scratches the fish and the fish dies. In this case, I'm the cat and the fish is my physical body. If you leave me alone long enough with the fish, I won't be able to contain myself, and I'll scratch it up. That's what was running through my mind at the moment. Kill the fish. It's just a stupid fish. Kill it.

After what seemed like forever, I had managed to get a taxi and stay at some cheep hotel that gave me the creeps. It was freezing in the rooms and the floors made a creaking noise with every step you took. I casually set my things down on the broken bed, and the first thing I did was grab my iPod and turn on my music, not even caring what song played first.

Disasterolagy by Pierce The Veil was the song that decided to play, and just hearing Vic's voice made me tear up. I was about to break that strong promise I had made him, and I knew it right then and there. I also knew I was going to regret this afterwards, but I still wanted to do it. I wanted to kill the fish.

I reached into my bag, unwrapping a small, silver blade that made me shiver at the touch. Usually people that cut would say things referring to it as their friend. I would say it's my worst nightmare and I know just how dangerous it is. I'm actually terrified of sharp objects, and it's all because of my self-harm. It's all my fault. I'm the reason I do this.

"I'm......s-so sorry V-Vic. I know I h-have already failed you. Please........please forgive me," I cried, examining the shiny, sharp object in my hand that would break a very important promise I had made to someone so very special to me. But......it's not a big deal because I don't even know him and I'll probably never see him again. Plus, he'll eventually forget about that stupid promise, right? I mean, he probably makes promises like that with his fans everyday.

"As I bring this blade to my wrist, I'll remember your words, Vic. I'll remember you. Thank you..........for having faith in me....," I whispered, watching as I brought the blade to my wrist, tears pouring down my cheeks from fear and disappointment in myself. "But I have nothing left......."

And that's when I did it. I cut through my very own flesh, breaking the promise I had kept for months, and planned on keeping forever. I just knew that wherever Vic was right now, he was happy and playing his music like always. That's what made me smile, even though I was mutilating myself in front of my very own smile. How cruel of myself.