8th Grade Theatre

Valentines Day Commercial

So, our theater teacher loves to do skits for the holidays, so she had all of her classes do Valentines Day Commercials. We have a unique group. (for the record, me playing this part is SO FAR off it was hilarious) 

Elodie/Tavia: (singing) (from the hallway) Lip Love by Swoon makes people go wild

Tavia: (enters) Got your eye on the perfect guy? Or gal? Or anyone else? (Emma wanders in) Then Lip Love by Swoon is perfect for you. (Pulls out four tubes of lipstick, Emma looks up interestedly) Simply $10 a tube or $30 for a Diamond pack. Now, what might be worth $10 for a tube of lipstick, you might ask? Well, this is a special kind of lipstick.

Emma: Oooh, really? What's so special about it?

Tavia: I sure am glad you asked! We have four kinds, but let's start with this one (pockets three of them), He's Falling For You. Will make your perfect guy come to you like a moth to a flame. Here, try it.

Emma: (Hesitantly, as she's taking it) I'm not sure...

Tavia snaps, the music starts, and as she backs away, Eden starts walking past. Emma puts on the lipstick and just as Eden is passing her, he suddenly turns around and sees Emma. Emma freezes, as Eden walks up to her and starts to lean in

Eden: (Murmuring) Hey...

Emma leans away, and quickly slips a makeup remover wipe between her mouth and his. Music comes to a jarring halt as Eden freezes.

Eden: (looks around, confused. Realizes, and backs away fast, nervous.) Oh, uh, (looking around frantically anywhere but Emma) Bye. (Scampers off as fast as possible)

Tavia: (pauses) moving on! Here, (pulls out lipstick tube) we have Catch Her Eye-

Emma: Let me guess, perfect girl?

Tavia: (smoothly) You got it! Wanna take a go? (hands it over)

Emma: (resigned) Okay. (takes it, puts it on)

"Just the Way You Are" starts playing, and Madison comes in shyly. At 'When you smile', Madison both smile, Madison Sweetly, Emma pained. At 'but you're amazing' Emma wipes off.

Emma: Can we just be friends?

Madison: (totally cool with it) (shrugs) Sure. (Emma shrugs, they exchange numbers, and Madison walks off) See you later!

Tavia: (pulls out third) Here we have Capture Their Attention.

Emma: Gimme that. (takes it, puts it on)

"Hey Soul Sister" plays. Elodie walks on, to the beat. Emma's eyebrows go up and she nods to the beat. Elodie comes up to her and whispers something. Emma giggles, pauses, and hooks arms with Elodie and starts to walk off.

Elodie: (as she is being pulled off) (turns around, winks) Gender fluid!

Tavia: But wait! There's more! (holds up last tube of lipstick enticingly)

Emma: (looks back at Tavia, sighs, and wipes off lipstick as she walks over) (reluctantly) Okay, what is it?

Tavia: (hands it to her) It's called Darkness.

Emma: What does it do?

Tavia: (as Emma is putting it on) You'll find out.

"Uma Thurman" plays, and Elodie starts jamming out in the background. I (dressed as gross boy) walks in, see Emma, and smile slyly. Walks all the way up to her, and music stops.

Me: (eyebrows) Hey baby. (Emma. Wide eyed, wipes off lipstick again. Nothing happens) Come here often? (Emma looks frantically at Tavia for help)

Tavia: (unconcerned, holds out piece of chocolate) Feed him this. (Emma grabs the chocolate and shoves it in my face)

Me: (surprised) For me? (eats it. Turns into teddy bear)

Silence

Emma: (after a pause, picks up the teddy bear and gives it to Elodie, and they walk out)

Tavia: (smiling) Let's give them their privacy, if you know what I mean. (pause) Quick recap, we've got four kinds. One attracts girls, one attracts boys, one either gender, and one for people you don't like, along with a special transforming chocolate pack. You can get these products at your local Sephora, or at 1-800-LipLove. All products come in chap stick, for all you guys who want to try this without compromising your masculinity! Don't worry about side effects, all products are made from organically sourced Aphrodite. Don't forget, $10 a tube, or $30 for diamond pack. Buy yours today! (puts hands in pockets and starts to walk off) (without looking back) Lip Love by Swoon makes people go wild...