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*EDITED*

FIRST CHAPTER IS SHIT BUT IT GETS BETTER <3

*WHOLE STORY is one big trigger warning, I don't think I want to put that on top of every chapter*

Dan Pov

From the outside, most of our fans, family, and friends think me and Phil are pretty much the perfect pair of friends. (Most know us as potential boyfriends but we will never say the truth.... maybe ;) ) We never show signs of fighting, we get along perfectly, and we know each other so well its a little creepy. Back when I was better at hiding my messed up feelings, things were perfect.

I've tried to find the right moment to tell Phil about myself, my past, and the things I feel but I just could never build up the courage to tell him anything. All he knew was that I had a past, and I really don't want to talk about it.

He wouldn't understand, anyways.

Here I was again. Siting on the edge of my bed staring of my box of razors. I open it, some are dull from over use, some have blood on them from when i just did't get the chance to wash them off and some are pretty new and shiny. I exhale and grab one of my sharper ones, I press it to my wrist as start to slide left as the red juices start to trickle out. I stop as I hear my door handle jiggle.

I freeze.

Phil's Pov

I open Dan's door because his favorite animè was on and it was a new episode I thought he would really enjoy.. plus between me and you, I just wanted a cuddle buddy.

Once when I see him the first thing I notice is the look painted across his face, he looks anxious.

"Dan, Sword Art Online is on, do you want to watch it with me? We can cuddle if you want?" I ask with a urge in my voice practically begging him to touch me like he hasn't done in so long.

"oh well I was just listing to music"

I almost start to argue but I realize thats Dans way of saying no.

 "ok, well are you hungry then? I could make something? "

"not tonight, im fine.."

"oh.. ok" With a sad guilt mixed in with my quiet voice, did I do something wrong to hurt him? Hes been getting worse and worse through time, I miss the real Dan. 

Or maybe he was always really like this.

AN/ Again.. the first chapter is shit TRUST ME I KNOW ALRIGHT, but I like to believe that the story gets a whole lot better as it goes on. :) Stick with it, I bet you might really enjoy reading this, plus if your on Wattpad anyway WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO DO AT 3am?!?

comment to make me laugh :D

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