Chasing Miss Conner •OLD VERSION•

Thirty Three

|Song: Come Around By Rosi Golan|

Thirty Three

Juliette stayed in the hospital for the better part of a week and a half. I'd gone to see her a couple times. I even laid beside her in the uncomfortable hospital bed and foolishly gave into my craving and allowed myself to soak in her presence while she was sleeping.

I never went while she was awake. I didn't thing I could hold on to myself if I saw those blue eyes looking at me. I knew she'd see right through me. And I knew she'd try to stop me.

I was a coward.

If I was strong, I would storm straight into the hospital room and look her straight in the eyes and say "I don't love you anymore" but I can't do that. A lie of that magnitude is simply impossible. She'd call bullshit on it anyways. It was beyond obvious that I loved her. I was well aware that it was in practically every expression I used and every movement I made when I was around her.

It made me feel slightly better when the police officer guarding the door had told me that Caleb was locked up, and didn't stand a chance of getting out anytime soon, but I was still wary. I knew he came from a wealthy family and those wealthy people knew how to pull strings to get what they wanted.

"Mom, I'm home!" I called into the house as I shut the door behind me. My wound was just a long scratch, so they put some antibiotic ointment on it and sent me home. Thankfully there wasn't any damage done to my throat.

"Living room." I heard her call back.

I hesitated before making my way into that part of the house. Every time I went in there all I could see was the rivers of blood and me, screaming over a limp Juliette. It didn't matter that we'd torn up the floor and were in the process of laying new fake wood down, or that we added the latest high-security locks, the playback was always there.

Haunting me for what I'd allowed to happen.

I found her sitting crosslegged on the concrete floor, studying the new floor colors. "I think I'm going with the black and grey, it would fit these walls, right?" I leaned over her shoulder and glanced at it. I didn't particularly like it, it made the room seem dark. But I nodded anyways. "Sure."

She nodded in satisfaction and turned to me, resting her chin on her knee. "Did you go see her?" She sighed at my nod.

"While she was awake?"

I shook my head, feeling the familiar sluggishness of the mental exhaustion threatening to weigh me down. "You know I can't do that. She probably wouldn't want to see the person who caused her to be stabbed anyways." Mom was shaking her head before I even had a chance to finish.

"You know that's not true. You did nothing to bring this on. You didn't call Caleb and tell him to come over and hold you and her at knifepoint and threaten your lives. You didn't tell him to stab her. You didn't ask for this! She loves you so much, she put her life in danger in order to save you. Even I can't deny the love that woman feels for you. After everything you both have been through, would you really make her feel like she has no one?" Her chest was heaving by the time she was done with her mini-rant, all her words had almost run together in her desperation to get them out.

My eyes burned, I knew with everything in me that she was right and I knew that if I stayed any longer I'd break down and run back to the hospital, so I forced myself to turn away. "I'm going out, don't wait up for me." I said and before she could get another word in I was out the door.