Elizabeth Taylor (Harry Potter FF)

Lost trust

It went a few weeks before Snape’s next disappearance took place. It happened almost at the middle of the night. She was sleeping, but woke up when Severus kissed her cheek. Mumbling something about “Important meetings.” She was too tired to make out the rest. Before she could demand where he was going he had already disappeared. It made her anxious and angry at the same time.

The nights were spent half asleep and she didn’t lay down her wand, not once. It made her hand achy, her grip so tight around the small stick.  On the second night alone he returned. It was dark outside, but she was awake. Pretending to be asleep. What was he doing? She didn’t understand. She thought all secrecy were past them. That they would create a new life together. But now it was more like everything had gotten worse and more complicated. Her chest was moving up and down in a certain paste and her back was turned against him. She stared into the wall as she heard Severus climb in and stroke her hair. Obviously believing she was asleep. She wandered what would happen when they were going back to Hogwarts. It wasn’t much time left at Spinners End to be honest. Her second year of teaching would start soon. She wandered how it would be. She didn’t believe McGonagall were going to supervise her again this year, at least not by the headmasters order. But she wandered if she would be able to regain the old witches trust. She would find a way in the end. Only hoped it would work whatever she figured out.

Elizabeth didn’t fall asleep before she heard Severus light snoring. He seemed tired, like he had been working really hard without breaks for weeks. Was it with the order? But he could just tell her? She wouldn’t mind. Maybe it was for Dumbledore? Or if he sneak out to pay visits to Lily’s grave in secrecy, who knows maybe he even had returned to the Dark Lord. Even if he did any of those things and to be honest the third opportunity hurt the most. Lily. But she just wished he would tell her. Let her just know so she wouldn’t go around wondering all the time. Feeling like she was living in this bubble and everything happened without her reach.

The next morning at breakfast there was a tension between them. Elizabeth noticed it. Their conversation was only about thing like the weather and how the breakfast tasted. Different kind of spells and potion ingredients. It was like behind their voices secrets were hidden. She began packing already that evening. They wouldn’t leave for Hogwarts until a few days, but she needed to do something. Therefore she packed everything by hand. She went through her wardrobe. The things that didn’t suit her anymore, or had been outworn. She stopped and stared into the air, looking at the double bed were she and Severus slept. Without knowing she twirled the necklace around in her hand. She probably stood there for at least ten minutes, staring at the white sheets.

Elizabeth sat down at the bed and buried her face with her hands. Why couldn’t he just tell her? She felt so frustrated like all her energy was building up into a big bomb and there was nothing she could do about it. Soon she would explode, unless she found out what he was up to. She knew it wouldn’t do any good by snooping into his personal life, but what else should she do? Elizabeth didn’t come down until tea time. During dinner she was awfully quite. Snape raised an eyebrow. “What’s on your mind?” She had been so deep into her thoughts that she jumped by the sound of his voice. “Uh? ...Nothing.” She decided that the next occasion she got she was going to snoop around a little. All she waited for was him to leave. “I have a few chores to attend to…” He began again and Elizabeth cut him off. “Alright, when will you be home?” Snape was relieved she took it so easily, but didn’t let it show on his face. “Only a few hours, I will probably be back tonight.”

Ten minutes after he left Elizabeth put the paper she had been reading in the living room down. She sprinted upstairs and headed for the bedroom. She had to be careful, so he wouldn’t suspect anything. After a few minutes of looking she realized that if he had something hidden he would most definitely not hide it there. She had to look a place only he was. Snape’s Study. A secret passage way from one of the book shelves in the library took her there. She had kept this detail of knowledge by herself. Snape didn’t know she knew it existed. Or at least she didn’t think he knew. But Snape did not underestimate Elizabeth he knew that if something were to be kept from her it should not be hidden there.

The room contained a middle sized wooden desk, a outworn carped that needed airing and a corner cubed. She looked for hours, but all she could find were old parchments and dust. It ended with her giving up and closing the door to his study without any new knowledge of his secrecy.