Errand Girl

Helping Hand

Pic of brian on the side~ VOTE FOR LOVE <3

ಌ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Aria~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ಞ

The kiss had been amazing my whole body felt warm and tingly from just that contact. I didn’t feel like that at all with Mark. There was no mistaking it now, Mark could only be my friend not my boyfriend. But I wasn’t sure Luke would want to be more, he just looked frozen. His eyes kept shifting before he shut them tightly and moved off me. I wanted to grab him and bring his body against mine again, but I was scared of his reaction.

“Luke?” I ask starting to panic. He was going to reject me again… why couldn’t I learn my lesson? Why did I have to like him when he clearly found me repulsive? The only reason he kissed me must have been because he was sorry for what happened.

“Aria…” he says gently as his eyes open and his hands snake their way to get a hold of mine. I stare at him as time felt like it was moving slowly, why couldn’t he just do it quick. “You’re a sweet girl, caring, charming, beautiful and I like you.”

I smile brightly but the grim expression on his face told me not to get my hopes up. He sighted and looked away almost thorn. I took a deep breath and then pressed on, “but?”

“I don’t like you like that… I can’t like you like that. I can’t date you Aria… you deserve better” he says softly as his hands squeeze mine within his.

“Luke but… I want you” I breathe out. My eyes were burning with unshed tears, he was rejecting me.

“Aria… I just can’t love… not after what happened to me” he says moving one hand up my arm and gently placing it on my cheek his callused thumb rubbing against my soft flesh.

“Luk-“ I was about to protest when he shook his head and gave me an expression I’ve never seen before. He looked tiered, but it was more like exhaustion, he reminded me of an older person on their death bead.

“I loved this girl once… Alexandra… I thought we would be together for ever” He chuckled humorlessly. “It didn’t turn out that way. I just can’t date someone else and allow my self to fall in love again… I just can’t I have trust issues. Aria, you are better off with out me. Don’t ask me to give us a try. I don’t want to nor think it would work out… we are too different.”

“Your right Luke we are too different” I respond giving him a weak smile and pulling my self away from him reluctantly. All I wanted was to run in to his arms and ask him to hold me and pretend for a few seconds that we hadn’t said anything. Why did I tell him? Now he will ignore me like before and things will be awkward.

“Aria… don’t shed tears for me… I’m not worth it” Luke says just as I’m about to step out of his room.

“You are worth it” I whisper before stepping through and running to my bedroom.

Ones in the comfort of my teddy bear I cry. I just let I all go, I cry for being stupid, for being ugly, for being rejected, and cry for being weak enough to cry. It was moments like these that I wished I could just rewrite my past. There were so many times I was embarrassed and wished to be swallowed by the earth but they didn’t compare to now. I was beyond embarrassed, I was a mess.