Errand Girl

Shower trouble

Luke on the side~

VOTE for early short update! <3 I am planning on making the next one LONGER cuz stuff IS GOING DOWN xD

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LUKE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I sat down on the cool grass, it was late at night, and I needed an escape. I was a coward, I should have told Aria I loved her, I should have told her I wanted to be more but I couldn’t, not yet at least.  Wanted to be sure that Aria was the one, she was so many things Alexandra wasn’t.

If I analyzed how Alexandra was during the course of our relationship and how Aria is as a person they are opposites. Alexandra flirted with other guys sometimes, she partied hard cord even when I wasn’t around to care for her. Alexandra was already experienced by the time we began dating, I was fine with it, but there was so much I was blind to. Aria has a hard time even talking with new people; she would never cheat on me, not that she would have problems getting a guy. It almost seems like guys fall at her feet, so why would she like me.

Why would she want a guy who was insecure? Girls never liked that; girls liked someone who was confident. I had practically rejected her before and yet she still told me her feelings. I was messed up for rejecting her a second time.

“Oh mom… I messed up big time” I cry out as I lie back on the grass and stare up at the stars. I could only show weakness in this spot only this one, I couldn’t allow my self to soften up anywhere else. I just had too much crap going on for that to happen.

This was my spot to talk to my mom, only here did I feel close to her. It was up a trail up a mountain full of trees and exotic plants. At the very top there was a small stream that would start up. It was a beautifully tamed wilderness that not a lot of people knew of. Thank god; it would be embarrassing for someone to hear me talk about personal things.

“I promised not to make another woman cry… another woman I loved and I messed up… I know she cried… I heard her. I wanted to say yes so bad. Keep her close, keep her safe and keep her with me but… I’m a coward” I spat with a weak humorless chuckle.

I’m messed up, I know that, I know I am broken in so many levels. It’s not just about Alexandra cheating on me. It’s not just about the gang members going after me. It all comes down to what a horrible person I am to begin with. That’s why bad things happen to me, that’s why I don’t deserve happiness, that’s why I can’t be with Aria. Not when I caused my own mother to leave me.

“I just wish you could return… wish I could just apologize… maybe then I would deserve some happiness god I am so fucking sorry” I say staring in to the stars.

Maybe she was already dead, maybe she would never return, all I could do is wait and hope. I felt pathetic, what kind of guy lets these things get to him? I should be out there getting drunk and doing girls. Yet… all I can think about is how amazing that kiss with Aria was. It was like fireworks went of when we kissed… I thought that was made up. I couldn’t go back to whoring around now!

Maybe if I sort of got my life together, karma would stop returning and leave me alone. I could get together with Aria, if only I could figure my life out. I’ve worked so hard and yet my past keeps on biting my ass. I had to find a way to get rid of Zack and his stupid crew. They were all too pathetic to come after me like Zack did, he thought because of our ex friendship he was safe, he was wrong.