Unforgettable love

Chapter 17

Squinting, I opened my eyes. Rays of light shone through the sheer curtains which was the only light in the room. I felt like shit. I hate this but it's fate and this was all meant to happen.
I reached for my phone and discovered 23 messages from the boy who I thought was the love of my life. I don't even know what love is. I'm 17!However these messages showed me glimpses of what love truly is. It wasn't much mostly him telling me how sorry he was or if I was awake, if he could come in and then eventually him realising I'd fallen asleep so goodbyes.
I couldn't face him! Why?
Clenching tightly ; I threw the covers of my body. The cold atmosphere hit my flesh so I jumped out letting the force heat me up. Last night was boiling I barely even slept with the covers. It really wasn't my fault and so I had to sleep in my bra and underwear.
I felt confident because I knew Jai wouldn't walk in, I didn't need to feel pretty. I'm letting the fat pieces of meat breathe freely.
This room is so messy! As I'm leaving today I think I might just clean up, get ready and it's it. I turned to my phone to play my current playlist. Janoskians. Nope , not today. Rihanna, work. Perfect! I decided to stay in my garments.
Okay first I need to open the curtains and the window! The breeze hit me as goosebumps appeared once more. Fuck life. I made my bed and arranged my cushions. I need the duster so I walked over to my cabinet. As doing a knock on the door. When I turned to see, Jai hopelessly stood in front of me.
' what's the point of knocking if your going to walk right in?' I said harshly.
' I'm sorry!' He weakly replied, voice trembling and fingers shaking.
The boy walked out as he knocked once more. Why is he doing this. I'm trying to get him out of my life, forever!
' What!' I said
Jai walked in with a faint smile placed on his face.
' can we talk?'
' No, get out!' I announced fiercely
The smile soon disappeared leaving his quivering lips behind.
' can I just ask-' he quickly stated
' Can I just ask you to fuck off?'
He blew a sigh and walked out. I don't care anymore.

• • •

1:26pm - I've finished cleaning my room and myself! Also all my packings done I didn't need to much as Abby's house was basically my second home so she had all the essentials. This was it. I know so many people would envy me for doing this as I'm blowing my chance and it's so rare and I'm so lucky. But they should try being in my shoes and see how it feels. A few of the boys kept coming in to ask me what I was doing but I simply just said I was tidying.
Pulling the long handle up of the suitcase I wheeled it down the hallway. Arriving at the lounge I was ready to tell the boys. They were all sat so peacefully. Laughing at daniel (his snot was dangling out his nose), punching each other and of course playing Fifa. But Jai was sitting in the Corner of the sofa looking up at the ceiling. His eyes almost drifting him to sleep. I knocked lightly on the plaque of wood known as the door. No one looked back so I knocked with a higher force this time. All heads turned to my direction.
' Where are you going?' Beau spoke
Jai's head shot up as his body arched it's way up. His eyebrows furrowed.
' I'm going to stay at Abby's for the next 2 weeks.' I said biting on to my lip.
' Are you stupid? Why?' Luke added
' I just, I just need some space and you boys need some time without me!' I spoke, smiling.
' WHAT!' Jai shouted
' why the fuck are you screaming shut the fuck up!' James spoke
I forced a chuckle.
Jai jumped off the sofa and walked over to me as I backed up.
' I swear you guys were fucking less than 24 hours ago and now you hate each other?' Daniel asked
' Daniel how many minutes are there in a hour?' Jai said
Daniel turned away, blushing. The boys all began to laugh. Not even caring of what he had just stated. Jai pulled me out and walked me out the Hallway.
' please I beg you please!' He spoke
' No, I can't live with you now or ever and I really just want these 2 weeks to hurry up because I can't do this anymore Jai!'
' I'm sorry okay but don't make me the reason why you can't feel wanted in your own house please, at least for the boys not me please *YN*!'
' Jai this is so hard for me, I don't want to fall in love with you again!'
' so this is the last time we see each other?' He said as his eyes began to fill with tears.
' Yeah I guess it is but Jai just know I'm sorry for doing this to you and you will always be my first love and I really do hope you all the best for the future! Because because-' I said as I was cut off by the realisation of reality. Tears streamed out of my eyes as I gently placed my hand on Jai's face and rubbed his cheek with my thumb. The boys walked out as beau said,
' Why are you crying, wait *YN* you were serious?!'
' WHAT THE FUCK NO YOUR NOT GOING ANY WHERE!' James shouted
' why the fuck are you shouting?' Jai said as more tears streamed out his eyes. I laughed as the salty liquid poured onto my face.
' No *YN* no no I won't let you! Luke said
' please just understand that I'm sorry this is the way it's turned out and I love you boys dearly and this experience this opportunity will be unforgettable you've gave me the best 2 weeks of my life-' I began to speak before being disrupted by Daniels words
' please can you just not because this is not happening!'
The boys became teary as james started to fist the wall. Gosh but we haven't even known each other long I didn't know I meant this much to them. Beaus face became red as his veins began to appear on his neck.
' please do-dont go!' Beau spoke
' look *YN* you've gave us a home for the time being and we can't thank you enough but you leaving is taking it all back ' james began to talk
' SHES NOT FUCKING LEAVING!' Daniel shouted
I mean I like the fact that he's speaking on what seems to be behalf of me but it's not a fact. I'm leaving.
' I'm sorry! I have to go'
I walked over to james and wrapped my arms around him as his did the same.
' I'll miss you, you giraffe! '
' please don't go!'
I smiled as I said,
' keep everyone safe and make sure you don't wreck this place. You know I love you loads.'
He began to cry some what more as I fixed his jumper and wiped his tears.
Next was luke. I couldn't tell him everything because, fuck.
' Stop your not leaving!'
I ignored his statement as I slipped my fingers through his hair and messed his 'artwork'
' your such an idiot and I love you stop annoying your brother and don't eat all my Cheetos!'
We began to laugh as tears escaped our eyes. We went in for a hug as our heads hit.
' you fool!' He spoke
We were locked in each others arms for a good 12 seconds!
Beau!
' Your a fucking faggot!'
He started to laugh but his tears over took any emotion.
' bite me!' He spoke
'I would but..'
' I love you *YN*'
' Aaaahhh oh no!' I mimicked
His eyebrows slanted with a clenched smile
' I love you beau!'
We laughed and enjoyed the moment as we said our last goodbyes and hugged for years and years.
' DANIEL MY FAVOURITE!' I screamed.
' no I'm not saying goodbye!'
' okay fine with me!' I said turning away. The rest of the boys chuckling at my actions.
' okay okay hug me then!' He spoke
We began to hug and he tucked himself in my shoulder.
' your the best friend I never had!' He stated.
' what? What about me?' James said
We all started to laugh as the tears again kicked in.
' your my only best friend!' I said
' I'll miss you *YN* '
' I'll miss you more Daniel!'
Awkward vibes as I moved on to Jai.
The boys all began to laugh as they found it funny but This was very hard me!
' hey' he said
' hello'
' how are you?' Jai asked
' Long story what about you?'
' well there's this girl who I fell in love with and I can't get over the fact that she's everything I need and she hates me and now she's leaving me and I don't know how to tell her she's all I need and I don't think I cant make it without her. '
' why you Gotta make it so awkward Jaidon!' Luke said
I began to giggle as I told him it was okay.
' that's nice well maybe the girl needs some space because it's getting to her! And also maybe she's in love with you too but she can't feel that way or it will destroy her and she can't handle the pain.'
Eyes bounced of jai and myself.
' well maybe I just wanted to know why you would let yourself love me if you knew it would lead to this. Why did you fall for me *YN* because now I can't live without you and I'm hurting. You can't just do that people I do have feelings and I do have to live with it for the rest of my life!'
' WELL MAYBE I HAVEN'T STOPPED LOVING YOU!'
' THEN WHY ARE YOU LEAVING?!'
' I have to go!'
' *YN* jai spoke
I walked out of the house not turning back to see the building. Tears still flowing out of my eyes. I called Abby to tell her to pick me up at the café.