Knife in my Heart (Purple Devil Series book #1) #Wattys2016

Chapter 8

     My heart starts speeding up like horses at a race, the room starts to spin, then my stomach goes into about three hundred knots. I start to run to the bathroom when the TV's turn on in the hallways. There's a message.. "This is for all the students at Anderson High xoxo..." I can't even look at the screen because I know who it is from. Even though I feel like I could throw up at any moment I stay in the hallway to see if it's the same video that I think it is. If it is, I have a plan, go over to the Media Room and unplug the main power to the TV's. NO ONE is going to see this. Especially Eli. The Tv's go black again, then it lights up in a bedroom with the date on the lower right hand corner. It IS the same video. I sprint for my life to the media room, reach across the desk and pull the plug. I still hear them going! How is this possible? I unplug just about every cord that I see! "How is it still going?!" I scream. 

Gathering my composure, I walk out into the hallway. Of course everyone is watching as I am in a bedroom with a guy. Who, I might add, his face is blurred on the TV's, but I know for a fact that it never was. Whoever is doing this is trying to protect him! I look away because I know what's happening.  There's heavy making out, shirts come off, then his hands work down my body and down my legs. Then, the point to where I  cannot take this anymore. Bra comes off and he's on top of me. This is IT! I'm done! I run out of the hallway and run back in the Media Room. Turning off the lights and sinking down under the desk. I don't deserve lights, I don't deserve Eli, I don't deserve anything. If people thought that I was strange before, they are certainly going to think I'm horrible now. No, even worse they're going to think I'm a slut. They can clearly see that he was an older guy and I wasn't saying no. My head is so full that all I can do, is put them between my knees and cry until I can't anymore. 

I hear the last bell ring. Have I seriously been sitting here since eight-thirty this morning? If I had a choice, I would stay in here until dark. When the shadows can hide my shame and never look at anyone again. That sounds like a good plan. I hear a faint knock at the door. Oh no, no one is coming in my sanctuary. The yearbook club will just have to wait until tomorrow. Or next year. Maybe mom will let me homeschool. Mental note: look up good homeschool curriculums when I get home. Make an unstoppable argument on how homeschooling could give me so much more opportunities to explore places. Mom is a huge traveler so let's hope she'll take the bait. As I'm going through my battle plan, I hear more knocking. "What do you want?" Hopefully just a yearbook nerd who doesn't care about his social status. 

"It's me open up C." Eli? How did he know that I was in here? Why is he even talking to me?

"What do you want Eli, I'm busy." Listening, I don't hear anything. "Go away, just go away." I softly pray. If he likes me in any way shape or form he'll just do himself a favor and leave while he still can.

"Sorry, I can't do that. It appears that you are in some trouble, so I am holding on to my promise. Do you remember what I said?" Why does he care? Being seen with me is now saying that I just want him for sex and that is NOT what I want. AT ALL. "Let me in before I break this door down. And trust me, I'm in the weight room three times a week, I can break a door down pretty easy." He chuckles but doesn't last very long. His tone goes more serious. "You have to let me in, I have been sitting here since lunch." Wait, what? Why did he wait until now to say something? Did he finally summon enough courage to talk to me? Since he won't go away, I unlock the door and crawl back under the desk in my happy place. He walks in and looks at me. Not with disappointment, not of embarrassment, but of compassion. He cocks his head to the right, bring a smile that only goes halfway, "Seriously, I thought you were stronger than this."

"I don't deserve to be seen in public anymore. So when it's dark, I'm going to leave and never come back. Homeschooling is a wonderful option in my current state." I lift my head only enough to see that he sits next to me under the desk and puts his arms around me. Embracing me with his warm body and his strong arms. He brings my head to his chest and puts his on top of mine.  "How can you be here with me when you saw what I did? How can you stand to look at me?"