EDITED;

He isn't you

"Find someone who knows you're not perfect, but still treats you as if you are.." - Anon

-

I woke up to find myself so close to Arin that I could feel his breath on my lips. Our legs were entwined with one another's; it was hard to lay awake like that, having so much of his skin exposed and not being able to just run my hands all over him. He looked so peaceful asleep. I brought my hand up to play with his hair and scratch his head, he loved that... it always made him fall asleep faster. He groaned a little in his sleep and grabbed my hand, pulling it closer to his chest. I moved closer to him, pressing our bodies a little closer. Soon enough, I fell back asleep. When Arin and I finally got out of bed it was about the afternoon.

"Hey, I left my phone in my car and I didn't really tell mom I was spending the night. Can you run out and get it for me while I start on breakfast?"

I was still in boxers and a tank top but I ran outside anyways.

"Hey there neighbour."

I turned around to see my neighbour Conner standing behind me giggling.

"What is with you and pajamas? Do you own anything else?"

"Of course I do! You just always catch me when I'm in my pajamas!"

"Yeah, do you own... say a dress?"

He had his head low and he gave me a shy smile.

"Maybe, depends on the occasion though."

I used my best sarcastic voice and winked at him.

"Let's say a date maybe? Tomorrow maybe, at seven maybe?"

I giggled.

"Maybe."

With that I skipped away back into the house and told Arin about the news. He wasn't as happy as I was though.

"What!"

"Arin, what is the big deal? Calm down!"

"I can't believe you. How could you- after we- ugh! Never mind. Have fun on your little date."

I was absolutely furious. How could he even be mad at me for anything like that? It's not as though I could actually like the guy! I was in love with him!

...

...Um.

Yeah, okay, there. I said it.

I'm in love with my best friend, so what; it doesn't matter that he'll never feel the same way as me and that I'll probably watch him grow old with someone else and have beautiful babies. So what that it'll tear me apart inside every second for the rest of my life. I will do absolutely anything and everything I possibly can to make Arin happy, and I know that I'm not it.

-

I couldn't even sleep at night because Arin wasn't next to me. It was impossible, it was like I was cold without him near me- blankets wouldn't help. I needed him next to me. I needed him to kiss my forehead and tell me that he loves me. This isn't fair. When it came time to go on my date, I was still in a sour mood.

At that point I didn't care what I looked like, I threw on a blue dress, curled my hair and put a little mascara and eye liner on. I didn't put much effort in for tonight.

"You look beautiful."

I just smiled and grabbed a hold of his arm as he guided me towards his car. He took me out to a fancy Italian restaurant, there was a live band playing soft, slow music. We ordered lasagna and talked for a little, he made me laugh but all my mind was really on was Arin.

"Care to dance my lady?"

I giggled at the fake accent in his voice.

"Of course!"

I held out my hand waiting for him to take it and guide me to the floor.

We danced the proper way, the way people did years ago. He laughed a while until we were both to tired to stand.

"It's getting pretty late, we should get going."

He gave a sheepish smile and nodded.

When we pulled up in his drive way he just stared at me for a moment, like the way Arin does, but it wasn't the same. My breath didn't get caught in my throat, and my heart didn't speed up like it does when Arin stared at me. The date was fun, but bland at the same time. I couldn't see myself with him. I couldn't see myself with anybody other than Arin to be honest.

"I had a really great time tonight."

"Yeah, me too, thanks for tonight Blake."

Conner leaned over and grabbed my chin, lifting my head up so that I was looking at him again. He leaned in to kiss me but I pulled away, I just couldn't do it. Awkwardness filled the air quickly and the tension was really strong between the two of us.

"Conner, I'm really sorry it's just tha-"

"Arin. Don't worry, I get it... no hard feelings?"

"Exactly, thanks."

When I got up to my room I froze when I saw him standing there, no doubt the angriest I've ever seen him, and no doubt angry at me.