Pieces of a Woman

3

I awake in the middle of the night with a start. The rhythmic breathing that puts me to sleep has been interrupted and I need to know which of the two breaths has stopped. I run to the other room to find Aaliyah sitting on the bed staring wide eyed at our grandmother. Granny, who is usually laying back is sat up and slumped over. I rush to her side and immediately check her pulse. Extremely faint, but there. If she doesn't get help soon, I dont know what will happen.

I'm conflicted because I know that granny needs help but this could put too much attention on us. How would I answer questions about our living condition? Granny is our anchor, without her the system will wash upon Aaliyah and I and we will be lost in the storm of foster care. I don't want that for her, and I dont want that for me either. I have to either wait this out and see if granny prevails or call for help and risk Aaliyah and I. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to granny and I had the power to save her. But her and Ally are all I have. I can't lose them.

After about 30 more seconds of my deliberation, granny's breathing sputters and I leap into action. At least we'll all be alive even if we're not all together. I grab the phone and dial 911.
"This is 911 state your address and emergency." The operator says, sounding strangely robotic.
"Umm yes my address is 2020 MALCOLM X apartment 15. My granny is really sick and she's not breathing right and her pulse is really faint please hurry." I rush all at once, hoping she caught everything. She starts to say something but granny starts to hyperventilate like she's struggling for breath, so I throw the phone across the room and hop to granny. I'm frantic for a moment trying to remember all the things Sister Sarah taught me for emergencies like these. It comes back to me in a flash and with a rush of adrenaline, I pull Granny out of the bed and carefully lay her back on the ground. I place my hand on the small of her back and lift slightly, attempting to get air through her lungs or something. When her breathing doesnt improve, I lift her all the way up, supporting her weight with her back against my chest. I lift her hands in the air to open up her lungs and i honestly have no idea if what i'm doing is helping or making it worse. But her breathing begins to steady slightly and she moves from sputtering to actually coughing which is a relief.

I coo at her rhythmically, " Thats right granny breathe, just like that." I listen out for an ambulance but its been five minutes and I hear nothing. I tell Aaliyah to go to the window and keep her eye open for a loud red truck, partly to distract her and partly to help my nerves.
"I see it Alicia, loud and red," Ally says excitedly, and at the same time i hear the truck.
"Good job Ally, now go open the door and scream HERE really loudly until you see lots of people come to the door okay?"
I wasn't really sure how good of an idea that was but I didn't know if the operator had understood my directions since I tossed the phone. But nevertheless Ally is excited at the prospect of yelling and she runs to the door. I hear her small voice yelling as loudly as she can and imagine her flailing her little arms in the air, I manage to crack a smile.

"Here, here!!" she yells. I hear boots rushing down the hall and I'm thanking all that is holy for the noise. I hear the man before I see him and his authoritative voice orders ally to "show him the problem." Ally pauses but then stutters out what he needs to hear.
"It's granny, she breathing funny and sister is helping her in there."
And then his voice and face. He is tall, like really tall. There are 2 men and a woman behind him but he seems to be in charge.
"Ma'am I need you to step back." He orders me. His voice booms throughout the small room in such a way that I can't help but rise and stalk to the other side of the room without question. And then he goes to work, saving my grandmother's life.
I blink and when I open my eyes he's got the oxygen mask on her face and they're hoisting her onto the gurney. I think quickly and grab Aaliyah and myself a bag so we can ride in the ambulance with granny.
I feel like I'm in the center of a circus ring and the audience is captivated by my performance. As I tame a lion their wide eyes sit back and watch in awe. Only this is not a circus, this is the second floor of Regal Towers. I am not performing, I am running down the hallway chasing my ailing granny. Although there is an audience, they are captivated for all the wrong reasons. And I am not taming lions, I am trying to tame life.