feb. 18, 2016

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this motherfucker, I swear to god!!!! okay so we exchanged gifts for valentines day & before he did it he stopped me and looked at me and said "just remember that I don't get a lot of money, okay? and that I love you so much". and I agreed because I don't love him for his money. he got me some chocolates, and a tiny little stuffed monkey ( it's suh coot ) and he write me a poem; like who is that romantic ?!?! he is and I love it. I got him a new watch, made him "Open When.." letters, and bought him a card that I wrote in & put a poem in. after that he opened the "Open When..." letters like instructed, and decided to read the letter that says "Open When... You Want To Know More About Me" it made me so fucking nervous because I literally explained everything about me. I talked about stuff I liked first, ya'know my favorite flower, favorite bands, shit like that. then I got sad/dark/deep. I talked about how I developed Anorexia & Bulimia between the ages of 11-13. then I talked about how I was Depressed and suicidal from ages 13-15. I'm still 15, but I'm clean from self-harm since November (👍🙅🙌). I got so nervous while he was reading it that I kinda walked away, and sat across the hallway just watching his facial expression change while he read the letter. when he was finished I really awkwardly walked over to him and sat in a chair in front of him. we talked and I was still so nervous about if he was going to leave me or not. this is the conversation that ensued:

me: "you okay?"
him: "why didn't you tell me about this earlier?"
me: "it's not necessarily an easy topic to talk about."
him: "okay.."
me: "are - uh - this doesn't... doesn't change anything does it??"
hin: "what?! god no! I still love you so fucking much. this is just another piece of information to add,"
me: "okay good. I kinda got worried you were going to leave me,"
him: "nooooo baby girl I'd never leave you!! I'm gonna be with you forever!!"
me: *smiles and nods*
him: "that's normally where you'd say 'and ever' but -"
me: "forever"

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you can't tell me you don't ship #Jarley. if you do, please comment and vote. means a lot to me.

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