Illicit

Chapter Twenty Six- Pride and Integrity

"What?!" Naomi asked Declan as he waited with big eyes before her.

"Would you like to go out with me?"

"You hardly know me-"

"I don't look for the more cliche things in a woman. I look for an eye for creativity and detail. The ability to communicate with me without screaming or growing frustrated-"

"You slept with my roommate not even a week ago!"

"I thought she was you..."

"I'm not like that-"

"Really? Because it seems you and Logan have quite a physical past..."

"Why would you say something like that? That's absurd!"

"No absurdity is squirrels as models...I saw pictures on his phone when I had to borrow it because mine was dead. More provocative photos-ones before you got that tattoo so I suggest before you were eighteen...underage perhaps?"

"You read too much into things-"

"If he hurt you-"

"He would never-not physically. Let me go." She demanded as he snatched her arm as she tried to walk away.

"I'm sorry. I just...you get under my skin and I'm-"

"Not interested...I'm sorry...I'm just not..."

He nodded. "Okay. I hope we can still have a professional relationship-"

"Me too." She said as she ignored his extended hand and turned outside. Hearing footsteps coming closer to her, she turned to find Logan standing behind her.

"What are you doing?"

"You left this..." He said as he handed her her purse.

As he handed her it, their fingers brushed and their eyes locked. Her breathing became heavy as he was tempted to pull her into him, but ceased and pulled away instead.

"See you on the shoot?"

She nodded. It was the only thing she could bring herself to do. Turning to her car, she turned back fast to find him lingering in the middle of the underground garage.

"Why do you have pictures of me on your phone? From before?" She asked just as he turned.

"I don't-"

"Declan-"

"That mother-"

Her brow shot up. "He saw them..."

"He stole my phone from my hand when I took pictures of the models..."

"You are gonna deny it then?"

"What does it matter if I do? You HATE me...you have ever reason to...but...being by you...it's...it's not a cake walk..."

"It isn't for me either. All these feelings and emotions I want to let out-"

"Let me have them-"

"They aren't good-"

"It's not good to keep them in.."

"I'm terrified on who I'll become if I tell you. I'll be "that" girl I told myself I'd never be..."

"I'm not gonna force you-"

"You know what? I have nothing to lose...not with you..."

He nodded before she walked by him, pointing her finger.

"I am tired of the way you look at me. As if you yearn for me yet want no responsibility to have me and deal with me. You let ME go-"

"The biggest mistake of my life."

"What?"

"I never should have let you leave that night. I felt like I was holding you back and it killed me to think that. I would have rather have you hate me and move on than to love me and feel like you're drowning."

"The happiest moments of my life were when I was with you-just being next to you."

Tears filled her eyes as they spoke.

"I know I messed up-I know that I played a dangerous hand with you...I know I got you in trouble. But none of it matters. It's in the past-" She turned as he didn't respond and moved to open her car before he moved to her, pinning her against her car. Causing her breathing to increase.

"It's not thought. I can't stand seeing you look at anyone else the way you used to look at me-even if it's all in my head. I can't stand the thought of someone else touching you...caressing you...kissing you-I...I become a man I never thought I could be....But I wasn't that man when you left-when I forced you to by not fighting for you..."

"It doesn't matter now...We had our fun-"

"No. What we had-have is not "fun"-It's a mess. A bloody, emotional mess that results in crying more than laughing but when we're together; the stars align and the heavens sing..." He brushed a tear away. "And I..." Without another word, he pushed her hard against her car, kissing her. Not able to resist, she opened her mouth to accept it before finding his hands on her leg, he lifted her onto the trunk of her car. Her legs wrapped at his hips as he unzipped her jeans by moving the hand that was formally on her breast now to her jeans as the other held her upright on the car.

"No-" She said as she pushed him off.

Both out of breath, she pulled herself from him as she zipped up her clothes.

"I'm not making the same mistake again..."

"I'll prove it to you that I truly care-"

"I don't doubt that-"

"Then what is it?"

"I doubt you won't hurt me again." Without another word, she moved to her car and drove away, leaving him as she once was-heartbroken. But in this instance, as she drove, she felt weak now as she fell victim to his kiss, but strong as she then had the upper hand. She knew for sure he not only cared, but had deep regret for letting her leave that night.