Illicit

Chapter Forty Four- Forward

The remainder of the photo shoot went by without a hitch. No small snags aside from a few late models and one banner being spelled incorrect, but aside from such small details, the photo shoot was completed by the end of the week, as hoped. Naomi was relieved as she found her body raging with jealousy against Logan's wife. She constantly was plagued with a sickening feeling as she saw his finger raise and run through his hair. At points throughout their reuniting, he called her on his cell phone before disappearing for several minutes and returning with flushed cheeks. But the final night of the shoot, Naomi was left alone with him-despite every attempt not to be.

"Everything appears so perfect." He said, catching her attention, as she attempted to appear busy.

"Yes. I'm glad...no delays..."

"I heard about your uncle...I'm sorry...it's good that he's caught again..."

She nodded, trying to keep away from any "small" talk.

"I must be going..." He grabbed her arm.

"Naomi...I'm sorry. For everything."

"You weren't the one who left..."

"Then why are you pissed at me?"

"I don't have time-"

"Please....If we meant anything..." She set down the items in her hand before crossing her arms and looking at him.

"We meant everything-" She began. "But my career means more than a relationship. I spent so many nights crying so profusely I felt sick for days following. I told myself it would get better and it didn't."

"I didn't know you cared that deeply-"

She nodded. "I know. You think I'm some heartless wench."

"Wench?" She ignored his poke at her choice of adjective as she continued.

"That was when you left me. I made an oath to myself to not allow you back into my life. But you trailed back in and broke me again."

"How?"

"You have-had this control over me. I bent my morals, I spared my heart for you...but I let go of me. I never took pictures after that. But Erwin gave me a chance, and I won't lie, I got fame hungry for it. I wanted to be that photographer everyone wanted. And I got it."

He nodded. "I am happy that you did. You worked hard-"

"But I didn't earn it. I wormed my way up, with blackmail Logan...I lied and told everyone that Erwin was sick. He killed himself. Not even his son knows..."

"How do you?"

"He sent me an email apologizing for making me chose between love and a future-but I realized it was best that way. And it proves, you found a wife." Her breath was fast as he nodded. "And I want you happy." Tears filled her eyes. "I want you to feel complete and safe and fulfilled...but right now...it's hard because to imagine you forgetting about me, is too painful to bare...." He let her leave as she moved then to the bar where they were celebrating. As she entered, she began chugging shots to wipe away the pain and tears.

The night carried on as Logan arrived at the club. It was nearing ten o'clock as all eyes were on him. He was the celebrity of the evening as Naomi drowned her feelings in booze and lousy conversation with topics she cared little to nothing about. Eventually, she grew so buzzed, she began to see everyone as fuzzy silhouettes.

"Naomi..." A voice spoke as she turned and peered to see it was Logan.

"I'm so glad you are here..."

"You are?"

She nodded. "Because I needed to tell you something else..."

"Okay..." He said as he caught her as she nearly fell from her chair.

"When I heard you were on this campaign...I went home and ordered all this expensive underwear..." His eye perched up. He chuckled. "But then I deleted it because I wasn't gonna give you the option. But then I find you not engaged-but married when you begged me to wait." She laughed. "You can't tell Logan...because I don't want him to know I still care...because all he does it hurt me..." Her eyes met with him. "Will you dance with me?" She nearly collapsed as she stood as he swept her in his arms.

"You need to get some sleep."

"I need to get more shots!" She moved from his arms and turned as the bar cheered, hearing her demand before he pulled her back towards him.

"You need to go to bed."

"Typical Logan...taking me to bed." She glared before stealing another shot before he pulled her, having enough of her reckless drinking. He threw her over his shoulder as she kicked and screamed before placing her down outside until a car took them to his hotel.

Upon arriving, he carried her inside as she had fallen asleep in his arms. "Logan..." She said as he moved to get the blanket on the bottom of the bed.

"Yes Naomi?"

"I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"I should have chose you..." And with those words, she fell unconscious, as his heart ached. He kissed her forehead before she snuggled with her blankets, taking in the warm feeling and falling asleep, unaware, yet again, of her affect on him...