Do You Mean It ☹ SHAYLOR (ALYLM contrast)

f o u r

Shawn has been off lately. I know that he hasn't been talking to me much. Hasn't spammed me the other night when I was out late again. He hasn't kissed me goodbye in the mornings. Hasn't done a lot.

Today I decide to come home early, just to surprise him. If there's anything different with his expeditions.

Maybe he'll show a little more compassion toward me and want to kiss me. It's been a week without those kisses. Ever since the day before I caught him crying.

I've never gotten to him about that either. Maybe that's what is tearing him down so badly.

As I get to our three story condominium, I notice his car is nowhere to be seen. I get in the home and call out his name, "Shawn?" Effects of no response.

"Oh Shawn..." I look at the frames on our walls. How could I let this happen. I know exactly how it happened, though, I never expected it.

Shawn doesn't give me sex anymore, he hasn't for a while, that's only recently since I've hooked up with one of my coworkers a few weeks ago and I've been seeing him ever since.

I hear the doorknob fondle. I walk right in front of it so I can be greeted by Shawn. All I hear is his sniffles as he walks right pass me. "Shawn? You didn't see me?"

I look at him and he's crying again and it breaks my heart to know how hurt he is but I don't know what's causing it.

I open my arms wide but he shakes his head and goes toward the kitchen. He stares dead out the balcony glass. "Don't you ever feel like something is tearing you apart while you're alive." Shawn says quietly.

"You're scaring me Shawn. What's been getting you down?" I go toward him and put my arms over his shoulders from behind.

I kiss his cheek, his jaw, his neck but I feel too guilty to place my dirty lips on his valuable ones. "Love you, Shawn." I whisper.

"Do you?" He says with a quiet tone, his fingers rubbing my knuckles delicately. "I do."

I turn Shawn to face me. "How about one of our bubble baths? Like the good days. It's been a while." I see him nod as his hands are still covering half his face.

I undress in opposite rooms as he does and I get the water running before he does. The large jacuzzi fills up as I get in first. "Shawn?" I call out.

He comes with a robe and slowly takes it off. I smile at the thought of how I'll be able to touch his nude body again, and in no way inappropriate, just to comport him.

Shawn sits in front of me as his back leans on my chest. I kiss his forehead. "I miss you a lot." He says quietly, his hands touching the water aside him.

"I miss you, too." I say, actually full heartedly meaning it. I almost feel sorry for leaving him alone all these evenings. He's not talking to me as he would do so, maybe it's just lost touch of us.

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