Treacherous

Chapter Nineteen

*~*~* Niall's POV *~*~*

I wake up to find Amie and I still in the same position from last night; me lying on her with my head on her chest and my arm wrapped across her stomach and tucked behind her back. I don't move, so there's no chance of accidently waking her up.

My cheek stays flush against her chest as I think about my break down last night. It came out of nowhere, but I'm guessing that it was a result of all the stress and worry from the hours before.

It had killed me when Amie purposely avoided me throughout the duration of the day after our fight. Then when she invited the girls to stay over I felt even worse. She really didn't want to have to talk to me.

For a second there, when we were trying to make up, I thought she was going to leave me. My heart had split in two when she didn't answer after I said my bit. It crushed me to imagine her leaving me all because I said some things I didn't mean.

And the fact that I caused all of those bruises on her stomach makes me sick. In fact, I can feel my face pale at the thought of it. I tell myself that I'm doing a good job protecting her, and that I'll never let her get hurt again, but here I am, hurting her myself.

A few tears slip out of my eyes at all that happened yesterday. I know it's selfish, but I hated that everyone else made her laugh yesterday, when I can barely do it anymore. She smiles and laughs a little around me, but it's nothing compared to how happy she looked yesterday. I hate that I can't make her smile for as long as they can. It just helps support my idea that she's better off without me.

It scared me to death when she didn't say she loved me back last night. So many unwanted thoughts had started to swim around in my head when she didn't reply. She had looked so scared when I had yelled at her yesterday, even though she was yelling back just as furiously.

I could tell how much she despised our fighting as she constantly had to hold back tears, only to fail in the end. Seeing her crying in front of me, because of me, tears me apart. I loathe that I'm now the one who causes her to cry and hurt now.

I know how she feels about me not wanting to touch her, but if me not touching her spares her pain, then I'll do it. No questions asked. But she fought me last night, repeatedly putting my arm over her, and eventually holding it in place. I gave up, not wanting to fight with her again, but when she said the words Zayn told me in the hospital, I lost it.

After all that had happened yesterday, my emotions had piled up, and it was last night in bed where I let it out. Amie, of course, had stayed up with me and held me like the good person she is, but I still feel guilty for forcing her to stay awake that long. She was tired and the bags under her eyes still haven't gone away, even though her favorite pastime now is sleep.

My tears form a wet spot on Amie's shirt, and as soon as she feels the cold sting of it, she wakes up. It takes her a little while to come to, but when she does she immediately notices the damp spot and figures out where it came from.

She sits up, causing me to do the same, and she rubs her eyes a little and blinks to make sure her eyes are open. When she's sure they are, she turns to me.

She doesn't say anything. She just puts her hands on my face and frowns at the tears she finds.

"What's wrong, babe?" she asks, scooting closer to me.

I shake my head and say, "It's nothing."

By the look she gives me, I know she doesn't believe it, but she doesn't answer. Our argument from yesterday is running through both of our heads, and I can tell she's debating on whether or not to address the situation or just wave it off.